Internal Dialogue
by YunaMustang
Summary: Lies are Lies. Hate is Hate. Sins are Sins. Love is Love. The world is full of all these things, and more. This is something Roy Mustang knows all too well, and one girl will cause him to question everything.
1. Application

Alchemic Abilities: Uses vibrations from vocal cords to cause one to have a deadly seizure

Other Abilities: Sharpshooter

Background: Unknown

Appearance:

Eyes: Green

Hair Color: Blonde

Hair Length: Long

Height: 155 cm

Weight: 105 lbs

Sex: Female

Tattoos: No

Piercings: Yes

Health:

Illnesses/Diseases: Unknown

Disabilities: Unknown

Date of Birth: Unknown

Name: Emma Lynn Aiman

Other Needed Information: Uknown


	2. Prologue

Okay! So, this is my second FanFic. It's not that I don't want to write it, I've just never written FanFics, and my friends kept telling me to, so I am! Anyways, This story is about Roy Mustang and my own character, Emma Aiman. This story can get pretty confusing, so you may want to pay attention. A lot of information will not be given until later on in the story. _Internal Dialogue _is rated M for later chapters, though I doubt it will get into too much details, and for strong language. Alrighty, enough of my rabbling, here is the Prologue to Internal Dialogue!

"Another one to throw away, sir?" Juliet Douglas, the Fuhrer's secretary, asked as he set down another Alchemist application.

"I don't know, Miss Douglas." Fuhrer Bradley looked up at Colonel Roy Mustang and said, "What do you think, Colonel?"

Roy straightened up his posture and his well known smirk cross his lips, "This girl seems very powerful, and nothing like any Alchemist I know or have heard of, but there is little known about her." Roy stopped to think for a moment, then raised his eyes black to the Fuhrer, "I say let her come and take the written test, then from there we can evaluate her as the other tests come. If I may, sir, give my own opinion about this?"

"Why, of course, Colonel Mustang."

"If I was in your place, I would throw the file out and not even think twice about it. As powerful as she sounds, there is something abnormal about her."

"Sir, if you would recall the Sewing Life Alchemist?" Juliet Douglas spoke up, "On his application he wrote down that he could create Chimeras and was a very skilled Bio-Alchemist. The only thing Mister Shou Tucker was good for was his Chimeras, and when it came to any other Bio-Alchemy he came up short."

Roy had to stop himself from snickering as he thought of Fullmetal, Edward Elric. "Miss Douglas has a point, sir."

"Hmm…" Fuhrer Bradley cupped his hands together and rested his elbows on his table. "Well then, just out of curiosity, send a letter to Miss Aiman saying she has been accepted to come take the written exam in two days."

_This should be interesting_, Roy thought as he glanced at the file.


	3. We're All Dogs

I was the first one to finish with the exam. I always did finish exams and tests before everyone else. I glanced around the room. I didn't really get a good look when I first came in. I was way too focused on the exam and worrying about failing it. The room was large, and there were rows of seats and tables all around. There were only about twenty people taking the exam, and, oddly, I was the only girl. In the front of the room, there was a long table where the higher ups sat. The Fuhrer was sitting directly in the middle, looking out at all of us that were taking the exam.

I sighed deeply, and I blushed as a few heads turned towards me in annoyance. _Was I that loud?_ I laid my head down, like I did in school, and closed my eyes. I had just closed my eyes when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Now _I_ was the one annoyed. I lazily looked up and put on my 'I really don't care' look.

The man gave me a cold look then twitched his head to the door. His black hair fell into his eyes, but he ignored it and turned his back to me. I sighed, quietly this time, and followed him.

I tapped my foot against the white floor as he closed the door. "You know," he said once the door was closed, "you should always salute to your superiors."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "I will once I become a State Alchemist, but until then I will do whatever the hell I want to do."

The man's charcoal black eyes swiftly moved up and down my body. His lips turned up into a smirk, "So, you must be Emma Lynn Aiman. I guess the Fuhrer really did accept you."

"And what's _that_ suppose to mean, Mister Superior? Hmm?"

"For the record, it's Colonel Roy Mustang."

My heart literally stopped when he said who he was. This was Roy Mustang? _This _was the Flame Alchemist? The Hero of Ishval? Before I could stop myself, I started laughing. I mean, I laughed real hard. I clutched my stomach and tried to stop laughing.

"Something amusing, Aiman?"

I looked up at Mustang, and bit my tongue to force myself not to laugh at his expression. His eyes were narrow slits, and his lips were a thin line. Heat quickly spread to my cheeks as I composed myself. "Um, I'm sorry, sir, but I was just imagining the Flame Alchemist to be more… older… and… different."

We stood awkwardly in silence for a pretty good amount of time.

The Fuhrer's voice broke the silence which neither of us knew how to break, "And that marks the end of the written exam. Please, stop writing and proceed to leave through the back door. If you have passed the exam, you will get notice to be here tomorrow. Thank you all for coming today." His voice was a bit muffled through the walls, but I heard him clearly… unfortunately.

My blood ran cold as I thought about passing the test. If I passed the test, that meant I'd come in tomorrow for the interview. I stopped breathing. The interview. Oh god, what was I suppose to say? There is a reason why I left all my answers blank. There are reasons why I lied on the application.

I was so wrapped up in my own worrying, I didn't even notice Mustang shaking me by the shoulders. "Aiman!"

I stared at him and blinked my eyes a few times, "Y-yes?" I knew I looked like a lost puppy. My heart was pounding, and I suddenly felt sick. "You know, just rip up my exam. I won't come by tomorrow." I shook my head and pushed his hands off my shoulders. "I don't deserve it, and I'm so sorry for wasting your time." I clasped my hands together and bent the upper half of my body down into a bow. "I am sorry." I whispered.

When I looked up, Mustang looked like he was about to say something, but I shook my head and ran.

I closed my eyes to stop the threat of tears from spilling from my eyes. Bad idea. I collided into someone, and the both of us went falling to the floor. "I am so sorry!" I shouted. I saw papers strewn across the floor. "Here, let me help you." I started to pick up the papers, but froze as a metal hand touched mine.

I looked up into shockingly golden eyes. "No, no, it's my fault. I should've been watching where I was going." The boy said.

When we stood, I handed him some of the papers I picked up. "Hey! Your short." I said with a smile.

The boy's eye twitched, then he started screaming, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SHORT! YOU GOT A LOT OF ROOM TO TALK! YOU'RE ONLY A FEW INCHES TALLER THEN ME!"

Hmm… automail arm, short, and _short _tempered. This must be, "Oh, you must be Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Alright, Fullmetal. Leave her alone and give me your reports." Mustang was suddenly shadowing over me. I hung my head and Mustang gave me an accusing look. "Aiman, I'm surprised to see you still here."

"Aiman?" Edward asked. There was some kind of recognition in his voice.

"I was just on my way out, and I ran into Elric." I bowed my head slightly to Mustang then turned on my heel to leave.

"Did I say you could leave?" Mustang's deep voice was taunting.

I turned an angry eye to Mustang, "You're not my superior. I can do whatever the hell I want to do."

"While I may not be your superior, I hold authority over you. Since I do, I want you to answer a question for me. Now, why would you come here, take the exam, and right after decide you're not going to do it?"

I looked away, "My reasons are my own." How could I tell him the true reasons as to why I did not want to take the test? There was no way I could tell him, nor anyone else. There are so many things that could go wrong during the interview. I could let something slip. I could get the physical exam thingy and they'd see my body. I could pass and then have to show them my alchemy, leading to me accidentally killing someone. I could become a State Alchemist and be used by everybody for my abilities.

A voice that was lost filled my head, _"Emma, promise me that, no matter what, you will not let yourself be used by anyone. Don't give yourself to people willingly like you always do."_

"_Don't worry. I'm not going to let anyone use me anymore. I've learned from my mistakes."_

Yeah, right. If I truly have learned from my mistakes, why did I sign up to take the exam? Why? Because I wanted to prove myself and try and fix things. Yeah right, I can't fix things. "Everything is broken, including me."

"What was that?" Mustang asked me.

Did I say that out loud? "Um… nothing. Just… being an idiot and speaking my thoughts without realizing it." I said as heat rose to my cheeks. "If you'll excuse me, I need to be leaving now."

"Wait!" Mustang grabbed my wrist, tightly, and tugged my back towards him.

Since I can be a klutz half of the time I tripped over my own foot and screamed as I fell back. My fall was cushioned by a body, and all color drained from my face. I was laying on top of Roy Mustang…

"Hey! You okay?" Elric reached his hand out for me to grab. When I grabbed it, he helped me up.

"Thanks." I whispered. My cheeks were burning, and my neck began to itch. "Shit, that was embarrassing."

Mustang smirked at me once he stood up, "Can't keep your balance, huh?"

"Shut up!" I barked. I wanted to slap that bastard. I raised my hand, but a cold metal one stopped me. "Let go." I said through clenched teeth.

"You don't want to go slapping people, especially him. You'll get into big trouble." Elric's voice was calming in my ear. But, however calming it sounded, it wasn't really doing much.

"Fine." I jerked myself away from him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Well? What is it that you want?"

"I want you to come back here tomorrow, if you get the letter." Mustang said simply.

I laughed, sarcastically, "Okay, yeah. Like I'm going to do what you _want_."

"Perhaps you heard me wrong. I'm not giving you my opinion, or something to think about. I'm giving you an order. You _will _be here tomorrow for the interview." His eyes were half glaring at me and half shinning with amusement.

That sick bastard. "You can't _order_ me to do anything! I'm not your subordinate." My angry was flaring. "You think you can just run around and give people orders. You're a bastard and an asshole. All you care about is getting promoted and killing people who have done you no harm!" I slapped him across his cheek. Huffing in anger, I turned on my heel and walked down the hall towards the exit.

That wasn't really a smart thing to do, but he deserved it. I didn't really mean to say such mean things to him, but he deserved it. He's just an arrogant asshole… who is very attractive. I clutched my heart as it pounded painfully in my chest. Damn prick. I'm glad I slapped him. I slapped that damn smirk off his face. How dare he try to order me around like some dog. Maybe that's his favorite animal. A dog. You can order dogs around and train them to do whatever you want them to. Perfect animal for him to have.

Then again… aren't we all dogs? All of us, we get ordered around by all sorts of different people. In the military, the higher ups order their subordinates around. In family, the parents order their kids around. In life, everyone is getting ordered around.

We're all dogs…


	4. State Alchemist

-Roy-

Yesterday had not gone very well. With Maes shoving a picture of his daughter in my face every hour, and Fullmetal complaining, and that damn Aiman girl, I didn't get any paperwork done. Since I didn't get any paperwork done, I had Hawkeye pointing a gun to my head for two hours while I stayed at my desk filling out that damn paperwork. To make matters worse, I had to miss my date with… with… well, whatever her name was, _and _I didn't get home until three in the morning, and I have to be at work at seven.

"Great, just great." I groaned. I had ten minuets to get ready, and I was just getting out of bed. "Can this morning get any worse?"

As if on cue, Riza Hawkeye came into my room. She was dressed in her uniform and her hair was clipped back, like always. "Sir, I thought you said you were out of this habit of waking up late."

"Yeah, I was." I walked over to the door leading to my small bathroom, "I just didn't get any sleep last night with having to stay late." I closed the door and turned the water on.

"You brought that on yourself, sir. You should've finished the paper work the first four times I told you to." I am constantly relieved that Hawkeye is in my life. Without her I would never do my paperwork, I'd never remember that I'm no good on rainy days, and I wouldn't have someone who I work with in whom I can act personal with outside of work.

My shower was quick, and cold. Hawkeye had left my room so I could get dressed. With my uniform on, and growling stomach, the two of us left my apartment. As always, she was driving and I was sitting in the back of her car.

"Do you think she'll show up?" Hawkeye asked me.

"Hmm?" I was staring out the window, acting like I didn't know what she was talking about, but I did. She was talking about Emma Aiman. Hell, everyone is. Edward ran his mouth to Alphonse about the girl hitting me, then everyone at Central found out.

That damn girl was on my mind from the moment she left. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Every time I asked her a question, she would freeze up and stare at nothing. Why did she tell me that she wasn't going to come in for the interview?

"I believe her name is Aiman, sir."

"Oh, right, her." I shrugged my shoulders and looked forward, "She might. I don't know."

Hawkeye narrowed her eyes at me through the rearview mirror. "Sir, you're not acting like yourself. Are you okay?"

"I'm just tired. Sorry for worrying you." I looked back out the window and sighed in relief as he pulled up to Central Headquarters.

"Colonel Mustang, I would like you to be in the room as the interviews are going on." Fuhrer Bradley had come into my office just as I arrived.

"Yes, sir. When are the interviews taking place?" I lowered my hand from it's saluting position.

"In five minuets. All eleven applicants are here. Now, let's head down and intimidate these young recruiters." The Fuhrer cracked a smile.

"Sir." I nodded my head and followed him out of my office. I gave Hawkeye a stern look, and she knew what it meant. 'Keep them in line.'

I couldn't afford to have my subordinates lounging around or playing poker like they always did when either Hawkeye or I wasn't around to keep them in line.

On the way to the room where the interviews would take place I thought about what kind of people these men would be. I had a very strong feeling that Aiman was not going to be here.

Five men had already gone through the interrogation. None of them are going to be accepted. I switched my foot as I waited for the next man to come in.

My jaw dropped as I saw Aiman walk in through the door. She stopped and stared at us, waiting for us to tell her what to do.

"Sit." the Fuhrer said.

"But… it only has three legs." She looked like she didn't get much sleep. Even in the dim light of the room I could tell that.

"A true Alchemist can sit in that chair." Was the Fuhrer's reply.

"O-okay." She sounded weak and unsure. Not a good way to start an interview. She sat in the chair, with ease, and folded her hands in her lap. I watched as her chest rose up and down, rapidly, as she breathed. I took a moment to look at what she was wearing. She had on, what looked like, a cotton grey skirt and a light pink top held up by strings around her shoulders. Her honey blonde hair was curlier then it was yesterday and hung down her back.

"Miss Aiman, let's start with a very simple question that every one of us is thinking; Why did you leave parts on your application blank?" The Fuhrer asked.

Aiman gasped slightly, then hung her head. "To be honest, I really don't know. I felt like… I was exposing myself by giving so much information away about myself. That's something I've never been good at, telling people about myself. I find it hard, for some odd reason. But, after I sent out the application, I realized that not putting in the information you wanted me to give was going to make me look… bad. In my head, I came up with the application is the first step towards becoming a State Alchemist, not the written exam, because the one filling it out is wanted to fill it out honestly and completely. If someone can't do that, then what makes you, the Fuhrer, think that they can follow orders as a State Alchemist? Which is why I was surprised when I got a letter saying that I was accepted to take the written exam."

Wow. Aiman was a smart girl. No one ever realized that the application is, in fact, the first test in becoming a State Alchemist.

"Very impressive." The Fuhrer said.

"Impressive, indeed." I agreed.

Aiman looked at me, then blushed and ducked her head down again. "Miss Aiman, how long have you been doing alchemy?"

Aiman pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows. "Well… I was always fascinated with alchemy, but my parents hated it. They said it was some kind of taboo and only brought death and pain. I went behind their backs and learned it anyways. I think I was about the age of eight. I ran away from home when I was ten to find a teacher, and went back home when I was thirteen. From there on I taught myself everything that my teacher had not."

"And how old are you now?" I asked without thinking. Damn, the Fuhrer is the only one to be asking questions. I glanced over at him and he smiled and nodded. A sign for 'it's okay,' I hope.

"Now? I'm fifteen, but I'm going to be sixteen next week."

_Are you serious? She looks to be, at least, nineteen. There is no way she's sixteen,_ I thought to myself as I started at Aiman. _She defiantly does not look sixteen. She looks much more mature, and developed. Uh, stop it. She's only sixteen._

"So young." Fuhrer Bradley said. "Miss Aiman, for someone of your age, such a young age, what made you decide to become a State Alchemist?"

Ah, the main question that determines whether or not you are accepted to take the final step to becoming a State Alchemist. _Don't screw this up, Aiman._

Aiman thought for a moment, then answered, "Sir, I've been asking myself that same question for a year now. It wasn't until recently that I discovered the answer. My answer to you, Fuhrer Bradley, is that I want to help people. I want to give my all for my country, for the people, and promise safety and reassurance to those who need it. I want to fight in war, not to kill or win, but to prove myself and prove my allies. I don't care about climbing up the ladder in the military." Her eyes flicked to mine and I thought, _If only you knew_. "I care about helping those in need, and my country. I want to become a State Alchemist because I will be a great asset."

_Great answer, Aiman._ I thought with a small smile. I knew for sure that the Fuhrer was going to accept her.

"Very well said, Miss Aiman." The Fuhrer looked at me and nodded his head.

"That is all, Miss Aiman. Thank you for coming to the interview. You may wait outside until the others have gone, then you will know whether or not to come back tomorrow." I said.

Aiman stood and clasped her hands together. "Thank you very much." She leaned down into a bow, then left the room.

Once the door closed, the Fuhrer said, "She will not come back tomorrow."

Shocked, I looked at him, "Sir?"

"She will not come back tomorrow, because she will show us her alchemic abilities today. There is no use in wasting time when we know she is dedicated and powerful. If she truly can do the things she put on her application, then she will be accepted."

"Sir, I think that is a good idea." I said. "May I asked a question though?"

"Certainly."

"Who's jurisdiction will she be appointed to? If I may suggest, I think she would be a very good choice for a personal body guard to you."

"That is a good suggestion, but I already know what I plan on doing with young Miss Aiman. She will fall under _your_ jurisdiction, Colonel Mustang, and Lieutenant Hawkeye will put her through the firearms test."

I was shocked to hear this information. I was expecting the Fuhrer to keep Aiman close to him, or send her to Eastern Headquarters. I was a bit unsettled by having her as a subordinate. She seems to hate me, so it will be a rocky beginning for the two of us. Being the suck-up I'm forced to be, I said, "Sir, I respect your decision and will do my best to keep her under control and ready for whatever you want her to do."

"Good."

Fuhrer Bradley sent me out to tell everyone to leave. Everyone except Emma Aiman. "I would like to thank everyone for coming today. Unfortunately, the Fuhrer is very busy and will have to send each of you a letter saying whether or not you will be coming back tomorrow." The ten men began to leave. "Miss Aiman, may I speak with you?"

Aiman's fiery green eyes sparkled as she glared at me, "Oh, you're not ordering me around this time?" Her small body stomped towards me, and I smirked down at her. She had to have been a few inches taller then Fullmetal.

"The Fuhrer would like you to come into the room and show us your alchemic abilities. You will not be coming back tomorrow, rather, you are doing it today."

"Today?" She choked out. "N-no. I can't. I-"

"Don't say you're not going to. If you didn't want this, then you wouldn't have come here today, am I right?"

Aiman sighed and nodded, "Yeah. Alright, let's get this over with."

I opened the door for her and followed her. I moved to stand beside the Fuhrer, along with the other Generals in the room.

"Miss Aiman, you can perform anything you wish to." Fuhrer Bradley said.

I was very interested in seeing her abilities. Can she really kill someone, just by singing? That doesn't sound like alchemy at all.

"Umm… okay." She closed her eyes and breathed in. Aiman raised her arms, and water suddenly appeared in a small sphere. With her eyes still closed, Aiman wiggled her fingers. The water swirled around, then turned into an ice dagger. She snapped her finger, which caused the ice dagger to fly towards the Fuhrer.

"Sir!" I ran to stand in front of him, but the dagger turned back into water. Aiman opened her eyes and breathed out, causing the water to evaporate back into the air.

"Impressive." The Fuhrer said. "Colonel."

I stood back at his side and said to Aiman, "You didn't have to threaten the Fuhrer."

"I wasn't threatening him."

"It's quite alright, Colonel Mustang. Miss Aiman, I am very much interested in your other alchemic abilities."

"You mean causing seizures, right?" She asked in a dark voice.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I will not perform that alchemy. I wish not hurt anyone in a demonstration. Even though I can control whether the person dies or not, I can not control the pain nor the side effects."

"I'll allow her to perform on me, sir." I said. In a way, I was curious as to how this would feel and what it would do, but I was also reluctant in allowing myself to be the victim.

"Colonel, you don't have to." Fuhrer Bradley said.

"I want to, sir." I said with determination.

The Fuhrer smiled, "Alright then."

I turned to Aiman, waiting for her to start singing.

"I'm sorry." She said. Just as she spoke, she began singing. I was captivated by her singing. It was beautiful. A lot better then the girls who sing in the bars these days. The song I didn't know, but I didn't have time to think about it, for my body started shaking uncontrollably.

I stopped breathing and lost focus on my surroundings, as if I was falling asleep.

I groaned as my body ached. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Emma Aiman was sitting on the bed beside me, rubbing my hair and holding a cold cloth to my head. "Wha-"

"Colonel!" She jumped, startled. "You're awake."

"No, I'm talking in my sleep." I said in a monotone voice. "What happened?"

Aiman sighed, "I gave you a seizure."

That's right. I had let her use me to show the Fuhrer her alchemic abilities.

"I'm so very sorry, Colonel. Truly, I am. I didn't want to do it, but I had no choice. I'm so sorry." I looked up and saw that she was crying.

"Hey, what's with the tears?" I wiped her cheeks and smiled at her, "I was fully aware of what was going to happen. It's okay." If anyone had seen me at this moment, they would think that I was not Roy Mustang.

Aiman sniffed then smiled, "I'm a State Alchemist."

-Emma-

"Sit." the Fuhrer said as the door closed behind me.

"But… it only has three legs." I said. The room was dark, a single light shone on the chair. There was no way I was going to sit on that without falling off.

"A true Alchemist can sit in that chair." Was the Fuhrer's reply.

"O-okay." I said. I sat, and, surprisingly, I didn't fall off. I glanced at the Fuhrer then the men at his sides. There were six men in the room, counting the Fuhrer. One of them I recognized as Roy Mustang. I couldn't stop breathing fast. I felt like I was hyperventilating. I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Miss Aiman, let's start with a very simple question that every one of us is thinking; Why did you leave parts on your application blank?" The Fuhrer asked.

I gasped slightly, then hung my head. Time to be honest. "To be honest, I really don't know. I felt like… I was exposing myself by giving so much information away about myself. That's something I've never been good at, telling people about myself. I find it hard, for some odd reason. But, after I sent out the application, I realized that not putting in the information you wanted me to give was going to make me look… bad. In my head, I came up with the application is the first step towards becoming a State Alchemist, not the written exam, because the one filling it out is wanted to fill it out honestly and completely. If someone can't do that, then what makes you, the Fuhrer, think that they can follow orders as a State Alchemist? Which is why I was surprised when I got a letter saying that I was accepted to take the written exam." I sighed when I finished, feeling satisfied with my answer. Moments ago, Ed had told me that all I had to do was be honest and keep cool. At least I'm doing one of those things.

"Very impressive." The Fuhrer said.

"Impressive, indeed." Mustang agreed.

I looked at him, then blushed and ducked my head down again. I couldn't risk looking at him. I'd get angry. "Miss Aiman, how long have you been doing alchemy?"

I pursed my lips and furrowed my eyebrows. "Well… I was always fascinated with alchemy, but my parents hated it. They said it was some kind of taboo and only brought death and pain. I went behind their backs and learned in anyways. I think I was about the age of eight. I ran away from home when I was ten to find a teacher, and went back home when I was thirteen. From there on I taught myself everything that my teacher had not." Which wasn't a lot. My teacher had taught me so much. Pretty much everything about Alchemy.

"And how old are you now?" Roy asked.

I froze. If I told them my age, they would say no and send me away. I could lie… "Now? I'm fifteen, but I'm going to be sixteen next week." Or I could tell the truth.

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing as Mustang's eyes bugged out and kept looking me up and down.

"So young." Fuhrer Bradley said. "Miss Aiman, for someone of your age, such a young age, what made you decide to become a State Alchemist?"

I thought for a moment. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. "Sir, I've been asking myself that same question for a year now. It wasn't until recently that I discovered the answer. My answer to you, Fuhrer Bradley, is that I want to help people. I want to give my all for my country, for the people, and promise safety and reassurance to those who need it. I want to fight in war, not to kill or win, but to prove myself and prove my allies. I don't care about climbing up the ladder in the military." I looked at Mustang. "I care about helping those in need, and my country. I want to become a State Alchemist because I will be a great asset." I lied.

"Very well said, Miss Aiman."

Mustang began to speak, "That is all, Miss Aiman. Thank you for coming to the interview. You may wait outside until the others have gone, then you will know whether or not to come back tomorrow."

I stood and clasped my hands together. "Thank you very much." I leaned down into a bow, then left the room.

When the door closed behind me, I leaned against it and sighed. "How do you think you did?" A soft voice muffled by armor asked me.

I smiled up at Al and said, "I think I did great."

"Yeah!" Ed threw his arm around my shoulder and said, "See? I told you, all you gotta do is keep cool and tell the truth."

"I guess. I mean, it was pretty nerve wracking, and I was expecting some kind of serious interrogation. Like, having to strip down for the physical exam or something. When the Fuhrer told me to sit in that chair, I thought he had gone crazy."

"Haha, yeah, I was a bit confused when I first saw that chair too." Ed said.

I smiled and thought about yesterday…

_I was so mad. That damn Colonel Roy Mustang infuriated me, and I don't even know him!_

"_Hey! Wait up!" I heard someone yelling after me. I turned to see Elric waving his hand and running down the steps towards me. "Hey," he said out of breath, "you know, you shouldn't let Mustang get to you like that."_

"_Yeah, I guess." I said bitterly. I glanced at the golden haired boy standing beside me. He had to have been at least my age or younger. His golden eyes locked with mine. "What do you want?" I didn't mean to sound so mean, but it just… came out that way. "Uhh… sorry…"_

"_Eh, it's okay." Edward Elric started walking and put his hands behind his head. "So, why do you hate the Colonel so much?"_

_I sighed and followed him, "It's not that I hate him, it's just… he pisses me off. He is just cocky and tries to order everyone around. It just makes me so mad."_

_The two of us walked in silence. Why was this boy even talking to me? Was he trying to plan something? No, just stop worrying. He's just being nice._

_Elric opened the giant doors and sunlight blinded me for a fleeting second. I nodded my head to him in thanks and walk out of the building. When I lifted my head up, I saw a giant suit of armor standing at the bottom of the steps._

"_Brother!" A soft, boys voice sounded in my ear. It sounded as if it was muffled, and when I saw that the suit of armor was waving to Elric, I figured that it was his brother inside of the armor._

"_Hey, Al." Elric slightly groaned._

"_Al? As in Alphonse Elric?" I asked him. "I thought the rumors about your little brother wearing armor were fake. I guess not." I look at Alphonse. For Edward's little brother, Alphonse sure was a lot bigger then him._

"_Yeah…" I looked at Edward in confusion as I heard the sadness and remorse in his voice._

_We were now standing in front of Alphonse. "Hey, Brother, what did the Colonel have to say?"_

_Edward glanced at me then said, "Aw, forget about him, Al. This is Emma. I just met her, but she seems pretty cool."_

_I rolled my eyes and began to walk away. "Gee, thanks." I said sarcastically. "Well, it was nice to meet you."_

"_Hey, wait!" I was the muffled voice of Alphonse. I heard clanking and turned to see that he was walking towards me. "Why don't you join us tonight? We are going over to the Hughes household. You could join us if you want. Right, Brother?"_

_Edward's cheeks were slightly pink, "Um, yeah… sure. How about it Emma?"_

_I bit my lip and shrugged, "Well… I was planning on looking for apartments, just in case I pass and become a State Alchemist." I saw the puppy dog look in Edward's eyes and sighed, "Okay, fine."_

"_Great! I'm sure Mr. Hughes and his wife won't mind." Alphonse said. "So, Emma, you said something about passing and becoming a State Alchemist? Does that mean you took he test?"_

Last night had been pretty fun. Maes and Gracia were very welcoming when Edward and Alphonse told them that I was joining them for the evening, and little Elysia was just adorable. I felt a tiny bit jealous when I saw how much Maesdotes on his daughter. Gracia was generous and asked me if I wanted to stay the night. When Maes caught wind of his wife asking me, he practically forced me to stay. I was amused to see how much Edward could eat. During dinner he had at least five courses, but Alphonse didn't eat anything. In fact, he hadn't even taken off his armor. What shocked me the most about Maes was that Mustang is his best friend.

"Well, Emma, Al and I will be outside waiting for you. I'm sure Colonel Asshole will have a fit to see us standing here." Ed joked.

"Brother…" Al sighed in a warning voice.

I laughed, "It's okay. I'll be out soon."

Just as the two of them walked away, Mustang walked out of the room. I felt my face fall into a scowl. I glared at the man that I despised. Okay, maybe I didn't despise him, but I didn't like him.

Unfortunately, for some unknown reason, my pulse raced when I heard his voice. "I would like to thank everyone for coming today. Unfortunately, the Fuhrer is very busy and will have to send each of you a letter saying whether or not you will be coming back tomorrow." The eleven of us started walking away. "Miss Aiman, may I speak with you?"

My heart leaped, but I bit the inside of my cheek in order to punish myself. I turned and scoffed, "Oh, you're not ordering me around this time?" I stomped towards Mustang, and he smirked down at me. I suddenly became a bit intimidated as he loomed over me. He had to have been a little less then a foot taller then me, or maybe even a foot. However much taller he was, he was still taller then me.

"The Fuhrer would like you to come into the room and show us your alchemic abilities. You will not be coming back tomorrow, rather, you are doing it today."

"Today?" I choked out. I didn't even know what I was going to do. I couldn't do this. I can't. I just can't. "N-no. I can't. I-"

"Don't say you're not going to. If you didn't want this, then you wouldn't have come here today, am I right?"

I sighed and nodded, "Yeah. Alright, let's get this over with." He was right. I did want this… but not for the reasons most people would think.

Mustang opened the door for me and I walked in, hearing the door close behind me. Mustang walked over to stand beside the Fuhrer.

"Miss Aiman, you can perform anything you wish to." Fuhrer Bradley said.

"Umm… okay." I closed my eyes and breathed in. I concentrated on the feeling of moisture in the air. I raised my arms, and sensed water appearing. I could feel it without even touching it. I moved my fingers quickly, forming a small sphere of water. With my eyes still closed, I wiggled my fingers slowly. I was slowing down the enzymes in the water until it turned to ice. I snapped my finger, which caused the ice dagger to fly towards the Fuhrer. Even though my eyes were closed, I could feel and sense everything in the room.

"Sir!" I heard Mustang yell. I smirked and clenched my hands, turning the ice back into water. I opened my eyes and breathed out, causing the water to evaporate back into the air. I looked over at the Fuhrer. Mustang was standing in front of him with his arms outstretched.

"Impressive." The Fuhrer said. "Colonel."

Mustang stood back at his side and said, "You didn't have to threaten the Fuhrer."

"I wasn't threatening him."

"It's quite alright, Colonel Mustang. Miss Aiman, I am very much interested in your other alchemic abilities."

"You mean causing seizures, right?" I asked in a dark voice. That was one alchemic power I was not proud of. I hated it. I hated that I had to learn it. I hated it so much. It was evil. I'm evil.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I will not perform that alchemy. I wish not hurt anyone in a demonstration. Even though I can control whether the person dies or not, I can not control the pain nor the side effects." I said sternly. I would not inflict that kind of pain on anyone.

"I'll allow her to perform on me, sir." Mustang said. I looked at him, and tried to plea him with my eyes to not do that, but he wasn't looking at me.

"Colonel, you don't have to." Fuhrer Bradley said.

"I want to, sir." He said with determination.

The Fuhrer smiled, "Alright then."

Mustang looked at me, and I felt sick to my stomach. "I'm sorry." I said. Just as I spoke, I began singing. The song was a tune my mother use to sing to me at night. A lullaby. As I focused on the vibrations I felt in my throat, I sent them out and towards Mustang's body. His eyes glazed over, then his body started shaking uncontrollably.

I stopped singing when he fell to the floor. Full with worry, I ran to his side. He stopped shaking, and was now passed out. "Could someone help me pick him up?" I asked. I pulled him up and flung one of his arms over my shoulder. A man came over to Mustang's other side and did the same.

"He'll be okay, although I need to make sure he won't be in too much pain, and that he'll wake up." I looked at the Fuhrer and said, "I know what I'm doing."

I placed a cold rag onto Mustang's forehead. He looked so innocent while he sleeping. I stared at his face and ran my finger across his cheek. I hated myself for causing him to be in this state. Luckily, he will be okay, although he will be in some pain and might not remember what happened.

I heard a knocking and quickly removed my finger from Mustang's face. "Come in." I said in a soft voice.

"Miss Aiman," Fuhrer Bradley said as he came in, "you are remarkably strong and very talented." He sat in the chair beside mine and smiled at me. I had to force myself to stop staring at his eye patch. "I want to know that you are fully acceptant and willing to become a State Alchemist." "Of course I am, sir. I would not be here if I wasn't." I said.

"Well then, Miss Aiman, I am glad to let you know that you are a State Alchemist."

My jaw dropped and I stared at him. When I finally found my voice I whispered, "Are you serious?"

"Yes. Congratulations, Miss Aiman."

I laughed, "Thank you so much, sir!"

"Mhm." Fuhrer Bradley nodded his head. "I would like you to be here tomorrow so I can go over the rules and let you know what you have to do."

"Yes, sir. I will be here tomorrow. Bright and early." I said with a smile.

"Good day, State Alchemist Aiman." The Fuhrer stood.

I stood and saluted to him. When he closed the door, I pushed the two chairs away from the bed and sat down next to Mustang. I sighed and laid my hand on the cloth on this forehead. Even though I couldn't stand him, Roy Mustang looked very handsome, especially in his sleep. I ran my hand through his soft black hair. _He looks so beautiful while he is sleeping. No, Emma! He's a murder and a jerk. That doesn't mean he can't be beautiful. No, it means stay away from him and hate him! I don't hate him, I just… don't like him. Yeah, cause there is a huge difference._

"Wha-"

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts I didn't even Mustang wake up. "Colonel!" I jumped and pulled my hand out of his hair guiltily. "You're awake."

"No, I'm talking in my sleep." He said in a monotone voice. "What happened?"

I sighed, "I gave you a seizure." I bowed my head and closed my eyes as I felt the tears welling up. "I'm so very sorry, Colonel. Truly, I am. I didn't want to do it, but I had no choice. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, what's with the tears?" I gasped when his finger wiped my cheek. I looked at him and he smiled at me, "I was fully aware of what was going to happen. It's okay."

I sniffed then smiled. I had to tell him the great news. "I'm a State Alchemist."


	5. Walking on a Fine Line

***** This chapter is an important one, so PLEASE pay attention, and don't forget about things Emma says in this chapter. I'd like to hear your thoughts on what you think all of this means. *****

Gracia baked me a cake for becoming a State Alchemist. We were sitting at the table. Gracia was slicing the cake, I was sitting next to Maes, who had Elysia on his lap. Ed and Al were talking in hushed voices across the table, and Mustang, who was invited by Maes, was sitting directly across from me. What happened today during the test was long forgotten. In the past. Mustang was back to his normal, cocky, stupid self… but then again… I couldn't take my eyes off of him. There was something different about him. Maybe it was just because I used my alchemy on him and some reason felt closer to him. Maybe. But, that didn't stop the feeling of dreadful recognition as I looked at him.

After Gracia had given everyone a piece of cake, Maes turned to me and said, "So, Emma, how are your parents going to take the news?" A bright smile was on his face.

I felt my heart sink slightly at the mention of my parents. "Oh… well…"

"Her parents don't accept alchemy." Mustang said, trying to help to get the point across to Maes. At least, that's what he thought he was doing.

I sighed and shook my head, "No, it's not that. My parents…" I guess now was the time I had to start telling the truth about some things. I can't keep lying and hiding the truth, especially now that I'm a State Alchemist. "My parents died, when I was thirteen."

Ed and Al abruptly stopped talking and turned towards me. Gracia's fork fell and clanked against the plate. Maes' face dropped. Elysia's mouth went into an 'o' shape. Mustang was the only one who wasn't looking at me. He was looking off to the side.

"Oh, sweet heart, I'm so sorry." Gracia said.

"Emma, I didn't-"

"It's okay." I cut Maes off. "You didn't know, and I didn't say anything. It's okay." I tried to smile, but failed.

"Um… Emma?" Al's soft voice made me look at him, "May I ask what happened?"

I shrugged, "I went off for training when I was ten. Alchemy training. I returned home when I was thirteen. When I walked up to my house, I saw that the door was opened, which was odd because my parents hated the door being left open. I walked in… and I saw a man in my home. Before I could say anything, he pulled out a gun and shot my dad. My mother tried to run, but the man got her too. After he shot her, and she fell, she looked up… right at me, and whispered my name. I hid in the bushes outside until the man left. He took something from my parents' room. Something that they kept in a lockbox. So… I've been on my own since I was thirteen."

The whole time I was telling them what happened… I saw that day replaying in my head. Truth was, I knew exactly what the man took.

I laughed, "You know, the last thing I said to them was 'when I get back, I'll be an alchemist, whether you like it or not.' I guess this was 'god's' way of saying they didn't like it." I put air quotes around god when I said it.

My eyes felt heavy with tears. I stood and whispered, "Excuse me." I hurriedly left the kitchen and walked up the stairs to the room I was staying in.

The room wasn't very big. There was hardly any walking space. A queen sized bed took up most of the space and was underneath one of the two windows in the room. The closet was next to the door. Under the other window was a small desk which held a stack of papers, a few pencils and pens, and a lamp. Against one of the walls was my suitcases and luggage. The walls were a light blue color, almost the same color of my walls in my old home. The carpet was a dark white color.

I sighed and flopped down on the bed, letting the white sheets wrap around me. I buried my head into the lush pillows and closed my heavy eyes. How many nights had I stayed awake, fearing that the man would return? How many days had I not eaten, filled with guilt over my parents' murder? How many tears had fallen from my eyes? How many scars littered my arms and legs?

I went through a rough time after the death of my mother and father. I was filled with grief and guilt. I had stopped eating. I began cutting myself. I wanted to die. I went to therapy. Nothing helped. Nothing… until I met Nathaniel. He was the light in my darkness. Cliché. He was the one who made me better. So… when he betrayed me… that was when I-

"May I come in?"

I looked up to see Mustang's head poking in my room. "Um, sure." I sat up and blushed as I noticed the room was a bit of a mess. Clothes were lying on the floor. Papers were scattered around the floor as well.

"I was knocking, but you didn't answer. I thought you had fallen asleep." Mustang sat in the wooden chair. "Gracia and Maes are worried about you. You should come back down."

"I just… needed to be alone for a while. Please, forgive me for worrying you." I bowed my head. I always did this. I always said I was sorry for everything I did, even if it wasn't wrong. Why? Because Nathaniel-

"You don't need to be sorry, Aiman." Mustang smiled and stood. "You've been through a lot in your life. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to tell us what happened. It was very brave of you to do so." His hand was resting on my shoulder.

I felt like turning into butter as his words sunk into my ears, and his touch set my nerves on fire. I looked up into Mustang's eyes and butterflies erupted in my stomach. "Mus-"

"Shh." He smiled and leaned closer to me. He was so close I could smell him. He smelled like some kind of aftershave or cologne. It wasn't strong, rather, it had a nice appealing scent to it. I could taste his breath. It was somewhat minty, and chocolatey. He was so close I thought he was going to kiss me.

My eyes grew wide at my last thought. Kiss me? He leaned closer. Our lips were only a centimeter apart. My heart was beating rapidly.

No! Don't kiss me! Don't touch me! Please, please, please, kiss me. No, get your filthy, murdering hands off of me. Please, keep your soft, warm hands on me and make me feel alive. _Shut up!_ My thoughts were all over the place. I wanted Mustang to kiss me, but I didn't at the same time.

"Let's go."

I suddenly felt lonely and weak when he pulled away from me. Mustang looked down at me, and I froze as Nathaniel popped into my mind. Roy Mustang looked almost like Nathaniel. Narrow eyes, perfect bone structure, slightly pointed nose, not too thin lips. The only differences were Mustang's eyes were a sultry charcoal black and Nathaniel's were blue, and Nathaniel's hair was long and brown, not short and black.

My heart started pounding as memories of Nathaniel flooded my head.

I snapped my head up. "Get away from me." I growled at the man in front of me.

"Aiman?"

"I said get away! I can't believe you would come here, after all that you put me through. You used me! You lied to me! You hurt me!" I jumped up and started pounding my fists into his chest, "I hate you, Nathaniel! I hate you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I hate you!"

Tears of frustration, anger, and hurt filled my eyes. I screamed out and fell to my knees. "I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to… baby, please… I'm so sorry, Nathaniel."

He knelt next to me and gripped my shoulders.

"I said I was sorry!" I sobbed. "Please, don't-"

"Emma!"

Wait. That's not right. Nathaniel never called me Emma. I opened my eyes and looked up into charcoal black eyes. What was going on? Moments ago… Nathaniel was yelling at me, trying to get me in bed, and I started yelling at him. No… that's not what happened. Mustang was trying to get me to go downstairs, and I started thinking about Nathaniel… and my thoughts were stuck in my memories.

"Emma, what's wrong? Are you alright?" All thoughts of Nathaniel left my head as I heard the stress and worry in Mustang's voice.

"We are heard screaming!" Ed ran into the room. Gracia was holding Elysia and standing in the hall next to Al. Maes followed Ed into the room with an odd shaped dagger in between his fingers.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER! I KNEW NOT TO TRUST YOU ALONE WITH EMMA! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO-"

"Brother!"

"Emma?" Mustang hooked a finger under my chin and turned my head towards him. "Emma?"

"I… I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." Stop lying. "Yes… I do. I was thinking about… something and I guess I reacted physically. I'm so sorry for hurting you." I laid my hands on Mustang's chest. "I'm so sorry."

Mustang turned to Maes and Ed and said, "Leave us."

"I'm not leaving her alone with you!" Ed shouted. "You'll take advantage of her!"

"Brother, the Colonel is not manipulative, especially towards a kid." Alphonse said. "Come on."

"Honey?" Gracia called to Maes.

Maes nodded to Mustang and pulled Ed out of the room. Ed fought and kicked but Maes had a good grip on him. When the door closed, I could hear Ed yelling at Maes, and Al trying to calm him down.

"Emma, you want to tell me who Nathaniel is?"

Shivers ran up and down my spine as I heard that name. "He was just… someone in my past." I dropped my head and tried to force the memories out of my mind. I couldn't tell Mustang about Nathaniel. That will only bring up more questions, and then everything I've worked for, the reason I became a State Alchemist, all of it will be exposed and ruined.

"He seems to affect you in a bad way. Did he hurt you?" Mustang just wouldn't drop it.

"I don't want to talk about it. It's in the past, okay?" I snapped.

He sighed and stood, "Alright."

My eye started stinging, soI started blinking, rapidly, "Ah, shit." I stood and walked over to the small mirror that hung on the wall.

"What is it?"

I pulled my eyelid up and looked into my eye, "My contact is bothering me." Shit. Did I really just tell him? Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

"You wear contacts?" Mustang seemed interested and walked closer to me.

"Uh, yeah. Bad vision. It runs in the family." I lied. He bought it, thankfully.

"I see. I've never met anyone who wore contacts. Everyone I know with eye problems wears glasses, like Maes."

"Yeah. They are expensive, but worth it." I had to get him to leave so I could take the contact out.

"Hey, Aiman?" Mustang grabbed my shoulder and I turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I know you dislike me, maybe even hate me, but you are my subordinate, and I do care about you and your welfare. I would care about you and your welfare even if you weren't my subordinate. So, I just want you to know," He started to talk slower, and with each word, his face came closer to mine. "I'm here for you, in any way you need." He whispered against my lips.

I felt hot, and my pulse was racing, "Mustang…" I inched my head up, but stopped when I realized what I was doing, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." I pulled away and looked back into the mirror. "Now, I'll be down in a few minuets. I just need to fix my contact."

"Okay. I'll tell the others." I watched him in the mirror as he left my room.

I shook my head, brushed my honey blonde hair out of my face, and then proceeded to take my contact out. I looked at my eyes. One green. One red. If anyone found out about my past, I'd be killed. If anyone found out who I really am, I'd be killed. I'm walking a fine line here. If I step to the right, if I make one mistake, everything will be destroyed. If I step to the left, the same thing will happen. If I make one slip up, one lie, one truth, everything will end… including my life. What's happened in the past… I have to keep it a secret. I have to keep it in the past. I have to tell lies whenever I'm asked about certain things. I have to tell the truth whenever I'm asked certain things. This whole thing is a life or death thing. I'm walking a fine line… and I fear it will snap at any moment.

***** So! Give me your thoughts on either the item stolen when Emma's parents were killed, Nathaniel, Roy's odd behavior, Emma's past, and/or Emma's red eye. Like I said, this is a VERY important chapter. *****


	6. So Sweet

*** I am aware that Roy is really 29, but please just pretend he is 28? The song which Emma sings is called _So Sweet_ by Maria Mena. Maria Mena is an AMAZING singer, and I love her. Check her out, please? Her song _Internal Dialogue_ influenced this story. Anyways, in this chapter, the truth about Emma and Nathaniel is revealed. How will our lovely Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang, react? Oooo. ***

-Roy-

I. Hate. Paperwork.

I glared at the pile of papers that were piled up on my desk. I wanted to snap my finger and burn the pile to ashes. Hawkeye was out eating breakfast with Havoc, Kain, and Breda, so I was alone. Also, I could just sit here at my desk and not worry about her pointing a gun at my head. The odd thing was, Hawkeye should not be the one threatening me, but due to our past together, she was the only one that could do so and get away with it.

I smirked and raised my hand. A soft knocking at the door made me groan. I guess I had to do the paperwork sooner or later. "I choose later."

When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Aiman standing there. I pulled my pocket watch out and checked the time. It was only six in the morning. Why was she here so early?

"Aiman." I moved aside and let her in. I closed the door then turned to look at her. She was sitting on the small tan couch, looking at some empty space. I was concerned for her. After what happened last night at Maes' house, I became very concerned about Emma Aiman. I had come in early today to pull up any files I could on her. I couldn't find anything. Not a single file. Now, staring at the young girl, I could see dark circles under bloodshot eyes. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a sloppy ponytail. She wore no makeup. Her outfit even looked tattered and weak. She wore a loose white t-shirt and black pants.

Aiman turned her green eyes to me. "What would you like me to do?" Her voice was empty and void of any emotion.

I stared at her for a little while longer before answering her, "I want you to tell me what's bothering you."

"You have no right to know." I was shocked at the tone of her voice. Normally, she would snap at me and her voice would be full of fire, but it sounded dead.

"I'm _ordering_ you to tell me what is wrong."

Aiman's head dropped. "Do I have to tell you?"

I walked over to her and sat next to her when I heard the fear in her voice. "You don't _have_ to, but I would like to know so I could try and help you."

"You can't help me. It's already happened." She lifted her head, and her cheeks glistened with tears. The rising sun shone in through the window and cast gentle rays across her face. "But… I guess it would be nice to tell someone." She sniffed.

I pulled my gloves off and set them beside me on the seat. My fingers lightly wiped away her tears. I haven't been myself lately. Ever since I laid eyes on Emma Aiman, I've been… different. I dream about her. I think about her. She haunts me. Last night, when Edward Elric had hugged her goodbye, I wanted to snap his neck off. Why was I acting this way, towards a girl half my age?

Aiman leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her back and rubbed gentle circles up and down her back and sides. "After the death of my parents I stopped eating. I became Anorexic. I also started cutting myself." She held her arms out and I saw scars up and down her arms. "I was lost. I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I started hanging out with the wrong people. I even started doing drugs. All that changed, though, when Nathaniel came into my life. I had been admitted into the hospital because I passed out during school… because of not eating. Nathaniel was the doctor's son and was helping out for the day. He… he got me talking. You know, about my parents and why I was doing what I was. I blamed myself for their murder. I could have stopped that man. I could have killed him, or just made him pass out from a seizure. I told him how… _amazing_ it felt whenever I was high. How… I felt so good about being skinny and not having to worry about gaining weight. How I felt so numb so I cut myself to try and feel. I was so lost… and he found me. He pulled me back to reality. I started eating. I stopped using drugs. I stopped cutting myself. We were the perfect couple. I was in love with him, and he loved me. Everything was perfect… until he wanted to take things to the next level." Somehow, I knew where this was going. If Aiman says that this Nathaniel boy did what I think he did, I will hunt him down and incinerate him.

"He… he came to pick me up to go on a date, but ended up… he…" Aiman's eyes filled with tears and she snuggled closer to me, "He forced me down on my bed… stripped me of my clothes. I screamed and screamed. I struggled and struggled. No matter what I did… he wouldn't stop. I was raped." My shirt was soaked where he face was pressing into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my mouth to her hair.

I would find this Nathaniel and I will deal with him, severely. I will make sure he is charged with rape. I will make his life hell. Maybe, instead of turning him in, I'll just kill him. No. I'm not a murderer. At least, I don't kill people outside of war. Even during war I don't like killing.

I wanted to make her pain go away. Make her suffering go away. "Emma," When she looked up at me, I lowered my face towards her and my lips gently pressed against hers. I don't know why I did it, but I had to.

Emma's eyes widened as my lips moved against hers. Her hands were on my chest, and she roughly pushed me away. Terror was in her eyes, and she was breathing hard. I feared that she may start hyperventilating. "What was that?" Her voice was shaky.

"I don't know." I murmured. "I don't know why I did that, but I don't regret it. Ever since I met you, I've been drawn you. I want to protect you. I want to keep you safe. I want you to be happy. I know you hate me, for whatever reasons, but that doesn't stop me from caring about you."

"You're wrong." Emma looked up at me and smiled through her tears, "I don't hate you. I just… I'm cold towards people… because of Nathaniel."

I smiled at her and cupped her cheeks with my hands, "You shouldn't worry about him anymore. Like you said, he's in the past." _And I'm here, now._

"Mustang…" Emma pulled away from me. "I can't just… let go of Nathaniel. He took everything from me. My innocence. My life. My _sanity_. Everything."

"He didn't take everything from you. You still have your beauty and your life. You still have your talent and your power." I stood up and moved closer to her. "He may have took your innocence, but you still have the most important thing ever." I grabbed her arms lightly and whispered into her ear, "Your life." I kissed her again, and this time, she didn't push me away.

Emma's hands gripped my shirt and she pushed her body against mine. I'm a sick man. I really am.

Emma gasped against my lips and pulled away, "No! This is not right! No!" She yelled. "I… I…" Emma fell to the ground, on her knees, and shook her head back and forth. "You're my commanding officer, my superior. Nothing more."

"Not even a friend?"

"… maybe a friend."

I knelt down next to her and decided to change the subject. "So, Maes told me that he and Gracia offered for you to live with them."

"Yeah. Gracia said that a girl my age should not live on my own in a city like this. So, they offered for me to stay with them until I'm old enough to be on my own. I refused at first, of course." She laughed, "I accepted it in the end. Elysia was very happy."

"She sees you as an older sister, she told me so herself." I said.

Emma laughed, "I've never had any siblings. I love little kids." She rolled her eyes, but flinched. "Ow! Uh, my contact." She turned away from me and fixed her contact.

"Emma, may I ask you something?"

When she turned back to me she said, "Sure."

"Would you sing for me?" I wanted to hear Emma's voice again. It was so beautiful. At least, what I remember.

"Um… what?"

"Will you sing for me?" I said again, but with a teasing tone.

Emma smiled and blushed, "I've never been asked that. I guess I could." She breathed in and her beautiful, pure voice erupted softly from her lips. The song I didn't recognize, but all the same, it was very beautiful.

"_Cool and soothing, the wind is in your hair. Not a single care. Cigarettes and beer. The speed of moving feels like you can fly, feeling kinda high, beneath the big blue sky. You let go and landed on your feet, and it felt so sweet_."

Emma stopped and gazed into my eyes. My lips broke out into a smile. "That was beautiful."

"Roy…" An unexplainable wave of delight flushed through me as my name fell from her gorgeous lips. "Thank you. Thank you for listening to me… and for caring for me."

"You're welcome, Emma." I knew that after this day our relationship will take an extreme turn. It was wrong, so very wrong, for me, Colonel Roy Mustang, twenty-eight years old, to be so interested in Major Emma Aiman, fifteen years old. She was nearly half my age. She was my subordinate. She was someone that I needed to be near. It was so wrong, but so sweet.


	7. Cat and Mouse

*** So, this one is a rather long chapter. Well, hope you enjoy!***

-Emma-

I had just told Roy Mustang my darkest secret. I thought I would have freaked out, but I felt so much better. It felt… amazing… to have gotten that off my chest. I've never told anyone about Nathaniel raping me. No one. So, why did I tell Roy Mustang, a man whom I barely even know? Maybe it was because I felt like I could trust him.

I leaned against his shoulder and laughed slightly, "It's so odd."

"What is?" He looked down at me, and I felt my cheeks heat up as his black eyes gazed into mine.

I pulled away and fidgeted with my earrings. "Umm… well, just that, you know, uh, that I trust you so much to tell you that, and I barely know you. I mean, I've known you for a few days now and I just told you my deepest secret that no one knows. I don't know, it's just weird. And now I'm rambling and I'm going to shut up now." I stood up and walked over to the window.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but since your in the military, you have to follow the dress code, as all of us do." Mustang said as he stood up from the couch.

I watched him through the window as he walked over to his desk and sat down. I ignored his comment, or at least tried to, and fiddled with my earrings some more. If _anyone_ tries to make me follow the dress code, I _will_ hurt them. Okay… maybe not hurt them, but I will say no and threaten them.

"That means," Mustang continued, "you have to wear the military uniform. Also, as far as your piercing go, you can only wear studs. So, your hoops have to go. And, your top piercing," Mustang pointed to the top of his ear, "has to go as well."

I turned to Mustang and popped my hip out, resting my hand on it. "I don't think so."

"Watch the attitude, Major Aiman." A playful smirk was tugging on Mustang's lips. His lips. I blushed as I thought about him kissing me. "I'm your commanding officer, and these are the rules. Thus, you will follow them."

"So, why doesn't Ed have to follow them, huh?" I challenged, a smirk playing on my own lips. This would turn out to be a game of Cat and Mouse. Let's see who wins.

Mustang stood and walked around to the front of his desk, "Fullmetal is a different story. He is barely here, and he hasn't been called for duty yet. You, on the other hand, will be called for duty and you are here. So, you will live by the rules of the military, that's why we are called dogs of the military."

I snorted, "Well, I sure as hell am not going to be wearing that tacky uniform, nor am I taking my earrings out." I stepped closer to him and looked up at him, "I'm my own person. I don't care if you are my commanding officer. I can do whatever I want, and what I want is to wear my own clothes and keep my earrings in."

"Major Aiman, I'm not sure if you are understanding me. I can report you for insubordination. So, I suggest you follow orders and stay out of trouble." Mustang's eyes glowed so sinfully.

Shivers passed through my body. I narrowed my eyes slightly and smiled, "Then go ahead and report me. While I'm here, I will not follow any rules unless I want to. The dress code is a rule that I don't want to follow. So deal with it." I forcefully made my voice sound sensual. I smirked as I saw the look in Mustang's eyes.

I win.

Just as I was about to turn around to leave, I squealed as Mustang's hand hooked under my ass. He pulled me against him, and all air left my lungs. My eyes were wide and my cheeks were flaming. My heart was beating so hard I started to feel dizzy.

Mustang lowered his head to my ear and whispered in a deep, sultry voice, "You will follow my orders, whether you like it or not, or I will be forced to punish you." My stomach flipped as his tongue lightly touched my neck.

There was a loud knocking at the door. Mustang let go of me and moved quickly to sit back down at his desk. It's good thing he did, because the door opened seconds after the knock, and Ed walked in with a tall blonde man behind him.

"I'm telling you, Chief, just ask him. I'm sure he can find out about her- oh! Hey! You're the new girl, right? Emma Aiman?" The tall blonde walked over to me and smiled down at me. He smelt like a cigarette smoke and cologne mixed. It was oddly appealing. "I'm Jean Havoc." He smiled.

"Um, hi. I'm-"

"Havoc, what do you want?" Mustang's voice was low and sounded dangerous and irritated.

"S-sorry, Boss. Ed just wanted to ask you some questions about someone. That's all. Oh, and I have paperwork to give you." He handed Mustang the papers that were in his hand. "They're from Hawkeye. She said to finish it before she gets back."

"And where, exactly, is she going?" Mustang's voice lost it's irritated tone and took on a tone of caring, sugarcoated by a tone that sounded uninterested. Since I know the human voice inside and out, I know how to find the real emotion of one's voice.

"She said something about a murder scene that Hughes wanted her help with. I honestly don't know anymore." The tall man, Havoc, sat down on the couch where Mustang and I had been previously sitting on.

"That's not like her to leave without saying something to me." Mustang folded his hands and propped his chin on them. He glanced at me then at Ed, "Fullmetal, can you make this quick? I was in the middle of telling Major Aiman about the rules of being in the military."

Ed looked at me and smiled, "I'll just come by later when you're not busy." He walked up to me and said, "Emma, would you like to go to this new teen club with Al and I? Haha, okay. Al might not go, but would you like to go either way."

I smiled, "Sure. It would be nice to go somewhere where there are people my age. I can make some new friends or something. Sure, I'll go. I don't know what time I'm leaving here, though."

"That's alright. Al and I are staying at Hughes' house today because Elysia wants us to play with her. We'll be there, so whenever you get off, just come home and we can leave whenever you are ready."

"Sounds-"

I was cut off by Mustang slamming his hands on his desk and yelling, "Everyone except Major Aiman needs to leave, now!"

Ed rolled his eyes and said, "Don't be such an asshole, old man."

"Uh, we should just leave." Havoc said as he put an unlit cigarette in his mouth. "See ya later, Aiman."

"Uh, yeah."

Havoc closed the door behind him. I turned and glared at Mustang, "You didn't have to be so damn rude. All Ed wanted was to ask you some questions, and Havoc just wanted to come into the office to give you some papers. Geez! You are such an arrogant asshole! I mean, why the hell would you-" During my ranting, I didn't even notice Mustang get out of his seat and move towards me. He cut me off, slamming his lips onto mine.

I pushed him away, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I yelled.

"I thought it was obvious. I was making you shut up."

I started shaking. I was very, very, _very_ pissed. "You… you…" I raised my hand and slapped him hard across the face, "asshole!"

Mustang's black eyes narrowed and actually scared me. "Do you know what happens to those who strike a superior officer?" He moved closer to me and grabbed my wrists, harshly. He threw me against the wall and I yelled out in pain. "They get punished." He growled in my ear.

I struggled against him. I stared up into his eyes as he pushed me harder against the wall. He switched both of my hands into one of his large ones, then pulled string that made the blinds fall. It became dark in the room. I looked up, terrified. Images of Nathaniel flashed through my mind. I can hear my screams. I can hear his laughter. I can hear the bed squeaking.

I was so scared. So scared. "Please… don't…" I was too scared to speak.

"Don't what?" He pressed his body against mine and lowered his mouth to my ear, "You really think I would hurt you?" I twinge of hurt was in his voice.

I looked into his eyes and squeaked as he kissed my neck. "Mu-" I froze as I felt his tongue lightly glide up my neck.

"I'm hurt that you think I would hurt you." He let go of my hands and pulled my close. "I'm not a monster like _he_ was. I would never hurt you in anyway."

It felt like my heart was soaring. No one has ever said things like that to me. I stared up into Mustang's eyes. Minuets ago, we were talking peacefully about my past. He held me. Made me feel better. He kissed me. Now, we are fighting. He's kissing my neck. He's staring into my eyes with a look I've never seen.

I felt dirty. I felt like a whore. I was melting under his touch. His gaze. "Let me go." I whispered.

Mustang stared at me, then slowly let go of my hands. "Emma-"

"It's nothing. I just… you made me think of Nathaniel…" I sighed and looked back at him, "I'm sorry, sir, but I refuse to follow the dress code. What will my punishment be?" Changing the subject seemed like a good thing to do. I didn't want to fall back into my memories and thoughts.

Mustang smirked, "Your punishment? You will have to fill out all of my paper work until I tell you to stop. As you know, I hate paperwork. So, since your new and you're not likely going to be called for any action soon, you can stay in this stuffy office and work on my paperwork. I think that is a fair punishment."

"Of course, sir."

The door opened and three men and a woman walked in. I gazed at the woman. She was beautiful. Her blonde hair was clipped back and her mahogany eyes were just gorgeous. The man standing next to her was the shortest of them all, but he wasn't as short as me. He had on glasses and was carrying a manila folder. The other two was an older gentleman and a rather… round one who was chewing on a sandwich.

The woman glanced at me then turned a hard look on Roy, "Colonel, would you like to tell me why the blinds are closed and why you are in here alone with a young girl?" She was slowly reaching for her side, which I noticed a gun was strapped to her hip.

"Hawkeye," Mustang said, calmingly, "This is Major Emma Aiman and she will be joining us here in the office. And to answer your question about the blinds, we just walked in and they were already closed. Now, I have a question for you. Why didn't you tell me you would be coming in late?"

"I didn't want to bother you, Colonel."

I bit my lip and walked forward to the woman, "Um, hello. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Emma Aiman." I didn't notice how shaky my voice was until I stopped talking. Why was I so scared and nervous?

The woman smiled and extended her arm, "I'm First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye." She grabbed my hand and shook it. When she let go, she gestured to the men behind her, "This is Kain Fuery, Vato Falman, and Heymans Breda."

The day went by agonizingly slow. Mustang and I really didn't talk. Havoc came back a little while after the other's entered the room. It's amazing what you learn about someone just by their actions. Like Havoc, for example, is a chain smoker. A very attractive one at that. Fuery is very timid and caring. Every time he would leave to get something he would always ask all of us if we wanted anything. Falman is very smart and is like a walking dictionary. Breda hides food in his desk drawers. Hawkeye is a very nice woman who is very protective of Mustang and holds a strong authority over the men in the room.

"So, Aiman, you said you grew up in Resembool?" She asked.

"Uh-huh."

"Do you know the Elric's then?" Havoc asked.

"Well, while living there, no, but since I've moved here they've been very sweet and helpful. Ed and Al were here for the last part of my State Alchemist testing. Ed's very… sweet." I felt my cheeks heat up a bit at thinking about Edward Elric.

Ed is a very attractive boy. Even though he is a year younger then me. He's really nice and funny.

"Looks like someone has a crush on the Fullmetal boy." Breda teased.

"Ah, no… um… I mean…"

"Get back to work." I glanced over at Mustang who practically growled. He looked very pissed. For what, I have no idea.

"Yes, boys. Leave Major Aiman alone and get back to your work." Hawkeye said then she smiled sweetly at me. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Oh, uh… Ed wanted me to go to some teen club with him, then I was going to have a tea party with Elysia." I knew I sounded stupid saying it…

Hawkeye smiled, "Well, I'd hate to pull you away from something as fun as that, but would you consider going out tonight with me? I believe if we should be cohorts we should have a personal bond. Also, I was going to go out and buy a dress for the Fuhrer's Birthday Ball."

"That sounds like a nice idea. It would help me look around Central and make a new a friend." I smiled sweetly at Hawkeye. "This Ball you mentioned, are only a select few invited?"

"Are you kidding? The whole military is invited! People from everywhere that are in the military come." Breda said as he chomped down on a cookie.

"It's a waste of time, if you ask me." Mustang mumbled as he flipped through papers.

"No one was asking you, sir." I said teasingly.

He glared at me then shifted his glare back down at the paperwork. I knew he hated paperwork. Even though my 'punishment' was to do his paperwork, there were still some things that he had to do.

Hawkeye covered my hand with hers, "The Ball is held here, in the ballroom, and everyone is invited. Including you, Aiman. It's really just a night that everyone can cut loose and not have to worry about their duties. And for some," she nodded her head towards Mustang, "it's a place where you pick up girls."

Mustang, oblivious to what Hawkeye was saying, looked at Havoc and said, "Do you have a date for tomorrow night?"

Havoc's eye twitched and he crossed his arms. "I'm not telling you 'cuz you'll take her like you always do."

"No I wouldn't. I already have a date. Her name is Nella. She works at the café just a block from here." Mustang smirked. I suddenly felt very… disgusted. Mustang is dating someone, yet he pulled all that crap he did on me? Kissing me and what not? I clenched my teeth and my hands and glared down at my desk.

What was he planning? The smirk on his face, there was something he was planning.

By the shriek that left Havoc's mouth and the sudden paled complexion, I figured it out. "How did you know it was her? I didn't even tell you!" He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Mustang chuckled, "I saw you two together on her break."

"That's cold, Colonel." Falman said.

I glanced between the military personnel in the room. The atmosphere seemed light and happy. I guess it had to do with them working together for however long they have been working together. I knew I didn't fit in here. I didn't fit in anywhere. With all my secrets and lies, it's amazing that I'm not a complete fake.

"You're staying with Maes and his family, right?" Hawkeye asked.

"Yeah. I'm actually staying there until I can find my own place. I don't want to be a burden to them, but Mr. Hughes practically begged me to stay. And Gracia made a good point. A girl my age can't be living alone in a new city."

"How old are you?" Fuery asked as he pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"Fifteen."

Everyone, except Mustang and Hawkeye, dropped their jaws and stared at me in awe.

"Are you serious? I didn't know that!" Havoc yelled. "Damn, well there goes my chances with you."

I blushed at his statement.

"You certainly don't look that young. I was thinking you were at least nineteen." Fuery said as he looked me up and down, examining me, but not in sexual way or anything along those lines.

Falman and Breda just stared at me, but once they regained their composures, Breda began eating again and Falman started fiddling with his pencil. Havoc continued talking, "You're the second youngest person to become a State Alchemist, Edward Elric being the youngest. Wow. I guess there are a lot of prodigies and geniuses out there."

"I wouldn't say that…" I scratched my head.

"Speaking of State Alchemists, I have something for you, Aiman." Mustang said. He bent down in his chair and put a box on his desk. "Come here."

I stood up from my tiny desk and walked over to him, "Yeah?"

"Here." He opened the box, and inside was a pocket watch. It was the same as Edward's, meaning this was the State Alchemists' pocket watch thingy. "This proves that you are a State Alchemist, bla, bla, bla." He pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to me. "This just states that you are a State Alchemist and it has your Alchemist name on it."

"Oh! Tell us what it is!" Havoc said excitedly.

I glanced at the top of the paper and laughed slightly. Mustang grinned. "I'm the Singing Alchemist."

I liked it. It had a nice ring to it. The Singing Alchemist. Boy, that would strike up conversation and make everyone wonder who the Singing Alchemist was and what they could do. I smiled and held my head high. With this new alias, I would look forwards to my goal and not let anything hinder me.

It was about seven when we left the office. Mustang and I were sitting outside, waiting for Hawkeye to bring the car around. Havoc, Fuery, Falman, and Breda had already left.

I was singing my feet back and forth, staring at my black heels that I wore. They really matched my black miniskirt. During our lunch break, Hawkeye drove me home so I could change. I felt like a bum in my t-shirt and pants. Now, I was wearing a really cute purple tube-top with a black bow just under my breasts, a short black skirt, and black heels. Fashion is one of the few things I'm really good at and passionate about.

I glanced over at Mustang, who was staring off in thought. The wind blew slightly and his black hair covered his face. I sighed, he really was an attractive man. I thought back to what had happened this morning between us. We kissed. What was that suppose to mean? Well… hearing what Havoc had to say, Mustang is nothing but a player. His motto is 'sleep with her then dump her.'

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, letting my face soak up the last rays of the orange sun as it disappeared behind the buildings of Central. I heard the sound of clanking, so I opened my eyes to see Al and Ed walking up to me.

"Emma!" Ed hugged me. "How was your first day with Colonel Asshole?"

I glanced over at Mustang. His hands were bawled into tight fists. Someone was in a bad mood. "It was okay. Guess what!" I said excitedly. I grabbed his hands into mine and smiled brightly, "I got my Alchemist name!"

"Really? What is it?"

"The Singing Alchemist." I said proudly.

"That fits you perfectly, Emma." Alphonse said.

I looked over Ed's shoulder and smiled at Al, "Thanks, Al. What about you, Edward? What do you think?"

"I think this calls for celebration!" He pulled his hands out of my grasp, but quickly grabbed one of my hands tightly with his automail hand. "You still free tonight?"

My eyes wandered over to Mustang. His face was growing red and his breathing was becoming rapid. Was he okay? Maybe he was sick. "Actually, I have plans. I'm going out with Hawkeye. She wants to buy a dress for the Fuhrer's Birthday Ball tomorrow night."

Edward smiled wickedly, then pulled me closer to him, "Well, you know, Emma. I'm a pretty good dancer, and since you're busy tonight, I say we should go to the Ball together tomorrow."

I smirked slyly at Ed, "Edward Elric, are you asking me to be your date for tomorrow night?"

"Yes I am, Emma Aiman."

I blushed as Ed's deep voice whispered into my ear, but I suddenly felt an odd feeling as a flash of Mustang's mouth on my neck came into my mind. Unconsciously, I pulled Ed's head towards mine and kissed him. I immediately stopped when I realized I wasn't kissing Mustang, and that said person was standing behind us looking like a demon.

"Will you two keep that behind closed doors?" His voice snapped. I winced at the intensity and hatred that was laced in his words. "I'm sure Alphonse doesn't want to see his older brother sucking face with someone."

I looked down at the ground to hide my blush, thankful that my blonde hair created a curtain around my face. I was embarrassed. I must really be a whore. Kissing Mustang earlier and now kissing Edward. Someone grabbed my shoulder and I looked up. Mustang started pulling me away from Ed. "Hey!" I protested.

"Hawkeye is here." His voice was cold and it literally sent shivers down my spine.

I turned and waved at Edward and Alphonse, "I'll see you two later."

"Bye." Alphonse waved.

Edward's cheek were slightly pink. He began to slowly wave as a dreamy look appeared in his eyes.

Mustang opened the back door for me and practically threw me in. I sat down and buckled my seatbelt. Mustang sat in the passenger's seat and glanced at me in the rearview mirror.

Hawkeye started driving. "Anything exciting happen?"

I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. "Well… Edward asked me to be his date for the Ball. I said yes, well, not really… but I'm sure he knows I meant it." Mustang's eyes were narrow slits as he looked back at me through the mirror. "I just have to try and find a dress in my suitcases."

"Why don't you buy a new one since we'll be out?" Hawkeye asked.

I shook my head, "I don't have enough money to buy a new dress. I'm sure I have something." I stared out the window, not really feeling like talking anymore.

The ride to Mustang's apartment was quiet. I kept feeling like I was being watched. A few times I looked up to see Mustang staring at me through the mirror. It was a bit unsettling. I thought about the information I shared with him. Nathaniel. My past. The incident. I told Mustang something that no one in the world, besides Nathaniel, knew. I told him that I had cut myself, was Anorexic, did drugs, and was raped. Even knowing all of that, he didn't seem like he was going to fire me or something like that. I'm sure that if it had been someone else I would not be a State Alchemist anymore, no matter how valuable I am.

I glanced down at my arms. I lightly traced the scars on my right arm. Some were straight across, some were diagonal. I counted them. sixteen scars on my right arm. Nine on my left. That doesn't include the scars I had on my legs and even my chest. I know I cut myself more then sixteen times on my right arm, but the lesser cuts faded away and their scars were faint and not really visible.

I pinched my upper arm, pulling at the skin. I remember telling myself that if I could pull my skin then I was fat. My mind had been so warped.

Feeling that strange feeling of being watched, I looked up and my eyes met Mustang's in the mirror. Neither of us looked away. He knew what I was thinking. I could tell by the way he looked at me. His eyes held some pity.

Neither of us looked away. This was another one of our Cat and Mouse games. Who would look away first? It wasn't going to be me.

We were near the outskirts of Central City. The car stopped, and Mustang's eyes tore away from mine. "Thank you, Lieutenant." He got out of the car. "Aiman, I want you in the office at eight tomorrow morning." He closed the door.

"Yes, sir." I said out the window.

Hawkeye turned around in her seat and smiled at me, "You can come sit up here."

I nodded and got out of the car and sat in the front seat. When I turned to hook my seatbelt, I saw Mustang staring at us from the front door. I waved at him, but he quickly looked away and walked into his home.

His house wasn't what I expected. I thought he'd have a big house, or at least something the size of Mr. Hughes' home. Mustang's house was a small one story home. It looked like a house you'd find in Resembool. It was a yellowish shade brick house. It looked like a nice, cozy home.

"Why doesn't he live in a bigger house? Or more towards the city?" I asked as Hawkeye began driving again.

"Mustang likes the peace and quiet out here. He doesn't like the hustle and noise of the city that much." She glanced over at me, "Can you drive?"

I blinked at her, "Not really."

"Can you steer?"

"Yes."

"Take the wheel." Once I did, Hawkeye unhooked her seatbelt and took her uniform coat off. She threw it in the backseat then grabbed a shirt that was lying on the floor. It was a brown button up shirt, almost the color of her tank top. She pulled it on then began to take off her pants.

I tried to focus on staying on the road, but it was hard steering with one hand. Thankfully, there were no cars on the road.

Hawkeye pulled on blue shorts that reached her knees. When she hooked her seatbelt again, she grabbed the wheel. "Thanks. I normally pull over, but we don't have enough time for that."

"It's quite alright." I said. "Hawkeye, where are we going?"

"Please, call me Riza." She said with a smile. Her mahogany eyes shined brightly. "We're going to a dress boutique called Golden Thread."

I bit my lip, "Sounds expensive."

"It actually isn't. It's sort of like a thrift-shop. I like to shop there because there is designer products, real, for a very cheap price."

"Really?" I perked up. Fashion? Designer? Cheap? I'm going to like this store.

Riza laughed, "Yes, Emma. Really. I can tell that you have an eye for fashion."

I blushed and laughed, "Yeah."

The rest of the ride was quiet. I started out the window and Riza drove. She would ask simple questions like what my parents are like, and I told her that they were dead. She then apologized then asked what they _were_ like. I asked her what her parents were like, and she said her mother passed away when she was very young, and her father passed away while she was a teenager.

When we arrived at Golden Thread, Riza parked in front of the store. It was on a street that was lined with small, packed shops.

Inside the store was cramped. Clothes hung on the wall and on racks that took up all the space of the small store. Near the cashier were rows and rows of jewelry. Towards the back were shoes and purses. I could spend hours in here.

"Well, Riza, it's a good thing you brought me with you. Now, let me see you." I looked her up and down. Her light skin would go perfectly with green. Possibly a dark green dress, with glitter. "Okay. Green."

I started shifting through the racks of dresses. Riza did the same. She had a light smile on her lips as she looked through the dresses. I had seven green dresses on my arm, and Riza had five. "Go try these on." I said with a smile.

Riza laughed, "Okay." She took the dresses from me and walked towards the dressing room.

"I want to see them on you!" I shouted as she closed the curtain.

"Okay! Why don't you look for something?"

I walked to the dressing room and said, "I don't have much money on me."

"You can still look." She walked out in one of the dresses.

I looked her up and down. "Not that one."

We continued this routine. Riza would walk out with one the dresses, and I would point out flaws and give my opinion. There were three dresses left, and Riza was getting agitated that she didn't like any of the ones she had already tried on.

"I really hope I like one of these."

"Me too." I said as my eyes looked around the shop. I wanted to look at the dresses, but I didn't want to waste my money on something that-

"Oh my goodness." I heard Riza gasp.

"What?"

She walked out and I stared at her in awe. "It's perfect." I whispered.

The dress was a sea green that only had one strap, which flowed down her back. The dress ended at her ankles. It hugged her waist then flowed freely. It looked amazing on Riza.

"I really like this dress." She said as she looked at herself in a mirror. "I really do."

"Me too. You look so beautiful."

"Now it's your turn." Riza said as she faced me.

"Huh?"

"Go look for a dress you like." Riza walked back into the dressing room.

"I told you, I don't have that much money-"

"Which is why I'm going to pay for it."

"What? No. I could not let you do that."

Riza popped her head out of the curtain, "Emma, I was given money to buy you a dress for tomorrow night. Now, you will go find a dress or I will force you into one. Your choice." Her voice was demanding, much like it was while she chided the boys whenever they stopped working.

I sighed, "Okay." As I began to walk away, I though about what she said. "Wait, who gave you money?"

She walked out of the dressing room with the dress on her arm. "Go find a dress." She walked towards the shoes and started looking.

I spent about a half hour looking for dresses. I had a variety of colors. Red, black, white, pink, purple, and blue. I had thirteen dresses. As I tried them on, I walked out of the dressing room and showed Riza each one. She did the same thing I did. She gave her opinion on the dresses and whether she likes it or not.

I stared at myself in the small mirror in the dressing room. "Wow…" I breathed. "Hey, Riza, I think I found a dress."

I walked out to show her. A bright smile crossed Riza's face. "You look so amazing, Emma."

I looked at myself in the mirror. The dress was deep blue, and ended mid-thigh. It was strapless. The end of the dress was ruffled, and it was tight around my chest and waist. A little diamond flower was positioned on the dress at my hip.

I walked over to the old lady that worked in the store. "Excuse me? How much is this dress?"

The lady looked at it and smiled at me, "Why, my dear, you look so beautiful. Is it for a date?" She gave me a crinkly smile.

"No, no. It's for a ball."

"Why, that's terrific."

"Emma, I will pay for the dress. Don't worry about it." Riza said reassuringly.

After we paid for the dresses, well… Riza paid, we got into her car and she started driving towards the Hughes' home.

"Riza, I really do appreciate you paying for that dress. I really do."

"It isn't me who you should be thanking." She said, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Who, then?" I asked.

She stared at the road. "Don't worry about it."

I sighed. Guess she's not going to tell me.

When we pulled up to the house, I grabbed the bag that had my dress in it. "Thanks for everything, Riza. I truly am thankful to have you here to help me."

"You're quite welcome, Emma. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya." I watched as she drove up.

"Emma!" Elysia ran up to me and hugged my leg.

"Hi, Elysia. How was your day?"

"Daddy came home early and we got ice cream!"

"Did you? What kind?" We started walking towards the door where Gracia was standing.

"Chocolate."

"Sounds so yummy."

"Hello, Emma. How was your day today?" Gracia asked as we walked inside.

"Pretty good. I mainly did paperwork today." Mustang's paperwork. "Riza Hawkeye and I went to Golden Thread and bought dresses for the Ball tomorrow night."

"A dress! Lemme see!" Elysia jumped up and down excitedly.

I laughed, "Okay." I pulled the dress out of the bag and showed Elysia and Gracia.

"I bet you look wonderful in it." Gracia said with a smile.

"You will not be wearing that anywhere out of this house." I looked over Gracia's shoulder to see Maes smiling at me.

"Whatever you say, _Dad_."

"So, little Edward is your date, huh?"

I blushes, "Yeah. He is. Is he here?"

"Nope. He dropped by and said that he an Al would be coming late, but he didn't mention your date." Maes bent down and picked Elysia up. "Come on, baby. Daddy is going to make you cookies!"

I loved seeing Maes go into his father-mode. It was fun to watch.

"You torture that child too much."

I froze as I heard that voice. That voice that confused me. That voice that intrigued me. That voice that belonged to the man I tried to hate but couldn't.

Mustang was leaning against the wall. "Hello, Aiman." A knowing smirk formed on his face.

_Stop it, Emma!_ I nodded my head, "Hello, Colonel." I turned to Gracia, "I'm going to put this dress away and get ready for dinner." I glanced at Mustang, "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Yes." He said curtly. I rolled my eyes. He said 'yes,' but I heard 'why wouldn't I stay? This is my best friend's house, and I'm just really here to torture you.'

I walked past him and up the stairs. I closed my door then flopped down on my bed. "UHH!" I groaned into my pillow. "Stupid, Mustang. Why can't he just leave me alone?" I sat up and ran my hand through my hair. "Stop it, Emma. You're over thinking again." I said to myself. "Mustang means nothing. He's your superior. You don't hate him, he doesn't hate you. You don't like him. You like Edward." I slapped my face. "Get a hold of yourself, Emma!"

I don't know the reason why Mustang makes me feel this way. I'm sure, in time, I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I'm just going to focus on my goal… and Edward.

I got up and walked into the bathroom. I turned the faucet on and splashed cold water onto my face. "Maybe I can think more clearly."

"Yes, cause splashing water on yourself is very effective." Mustang's voice made me jump.

"Dammit! You scared me."

"I can see that."

I stared at him. His eyes were so… I felt myself getting lost in them. No! Stop it! "What do you want?" I said as I ripped my eyes away from his and dried my face.

"You."

My heart stopped. I started to panic. Nathaniel crossed my mind, and I felt like lashing out at Mustang. "Wh-what?"

Mustang looked at me curiously, as if I was speaking a different language or had five heads. "Dinner is ready." He reached his hand out and touched my forehead. "Are you feeling okay? You paled."

"I'm fine." I said, shaking my head.

"Are you sure?" Mustang's eyes were staring into mine, and were full of… care?

"Come on, dinner is ready." I said. I squeezed past him and walked down the stairs.

I sat down at the table, and Mustang sat next to me. I groaned inwardly. What's happening to me? Why do I feel this way about Mustang? How exactly do I feel about him? One minuet we are perfectly fine, then we're kissing, then we're arguing, then we're fine, then we're arguing. It's so confusing. Everything about us, our relationship, our words to each other, our actions to each other, everything, everything is like a game. Roy Mustang and I, Emma Aiman, are lost in a game of Cat and Mouse, and I fear it will only grow more intense the longer we know each other.


	8. New Path

**Sorry it took a while for this chapter. I've been really busy lately. Anyways! Roy and Emma get closer, awww.**

-Roy-

I watched Emma as she slowly ate her food. The table talk wasn't much, the only one who was truly talking was Elysia. Maes and Gracia talked in hushed voices. As I was looking at Emma, she looked up at me then ducked her head and played with the food on her plate. Did I do something to offend her? Besides what happened today.

"Emma! Emma!" Elyisa was jumping up and down in her seat.

"Yes, Elyisa?"

"Can you sing for me?" Elysia's eyes were bright and she smiled brightly.

Emma smiled and nodded, "Later. Once you finish your dinner."

"Awww, can't I just eat cookies?"

"No, Elysia. You have to finish everything on your plate. You want to be a healthy girl? Then you need to eat your vegetables and fruit. Okay?"

"Okay!"

Emma smiled at little Elysia then went back to playing with her food. I started thinking about what she had told me earlier today. _After the death of my parents I stopped eating. I became Anorexic_. I leaned forward a little bit, "Aiman, why aren't you eating?"

Emma looked up with a shocked expression on her face. "I'm not really hungry." She looked over at Gracia and said, "May I please be excused?"

"Of course dear."

"Hey! No fair!" Elysia said.

"Emma is already a big and healthy girl, Elysia. Now eat your food." Gracia said in a sweet voice.

Emma grabbed the plate and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed my plate and stood.

"You always did eat fast." Maes said as I walked into the kitchen.

"You always did eat slow!" I shouted. I saw Emma jump as she was leaning over the sink. Her hands rested on either side and her head was ducked down. "Sorry I scared you." I said as I walked over to her.

She shook her head, "It's okay."

I placed the plate in the sink and leaned against the counter, looking at Emma. "What's eating you?"

"It's nothing. I'm just… thinking."

I wondered if she was thinking about how acted towards her a few hours ago. I have no idea why I lost my temper as I saw her and Fullmetal together. I wanted to snap his automail off. I didn't want him touching her.

Emma glanced at me then sighed, "I'm tired." She walked out of the kitchen, and I idly followed her. I have no idea why I was following her, but the moment I walked into her room, I wanted nothing more then to hold Emma and do extremely naughty things to her.

Emma didn't seem to have noticed me in the room as she began unbuttoning her pants. She turned and gasped as she saw me standing behind her. "Is there any reason why you're in here?"

One moment I'm staring at her, the next I have my tongue shoved down her throat. I'm kissing her, and Emma doesn't push me away. She does the opposite. Her hands pull me closer. I reach behind me and close her door, then push her against the dresser. All I want to do is get lost in this young girl. I pressed myself against her and kissed her deeper.

Emma pulled away and gasped, "Stop it."

I looked down at her, breathing heavily, "You didn't want me to stop earlier."

Emma's cheeks were red and she was breathing just as heavily as I was. She leaned her head against my chest, "What the hell are you doing to me?"

I laughed, "I should be asking you the same question." I ran my fingers through her silky blonde hair. "I've never lusted after a girl your age."

Her green eyes widened, "You're… lusting after… me?"

I groaned and closed my eyes, "I don't understand it myself, but yes." I dipped my head to capture her lips again.

Emma remained frozen for a few seconds, but soon she responded with deep passion. She began removing my shirt, and in turn I stripped her of her shirt. I groaned as her fingers traced over my stomach and chest.

A loud knocking caused us to separate. "Emma? You in there?" Maes' voice came from the other side.

"Answer him." I whispered as I ran my hands along her sides.

Emma shuddered then squeaked, "Yeah. I'm in here."

"Have you seen Roy? He seems to have disappeared."

"I-"

I cut her off, "I'm in here, Hughes." I pulled away from Emma and began to put my shirt back on.

"What the hell are you doing in there with her?"

"Calm down," I threw Emma her shirt. "We're just talking business." I opened the door once her shirt was on. "You really think I'd stoop so low and-"

"No, I don't." Maes said apologetically.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'm trying to give Aiman the run down on being in the military."

"Right, right. I'll be downstairs."

I closed the door and turned back to Emma. She was sitting on her bed, breathing unevenly.

I sat down next to her, "I-"

Emma stood and shook her head, "You should leave." Her voice was shaky, and I felt a sting of remorse.

I nodded, "I should leave." I said. I needed to get away from her for the time being. If I didn't… I had to get home anyways and finish the paperwork that I didn't finish today in the office. "I'll see you in the office at eight tomorrow morning."

"Okay."

With that, I left.

Last night had been an odd night. After leaving the Hughes' house last night, I ran into Fullmetal. He said he was heading to see Emma and that he'd be leaving with Alphonse in a few days. Once I got home and finished my paperwork, I dreamt of Emma. The dreams were very… erotic. Why was this young girl always on my mind?

Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, Breda, and Falman were out working on a case I gave them, so when Emma got here we'd be alone.

I looked up as the door opened. Emma walked in, and I couldn't help myself as my eyes trailed up her nicely shaped legs. Her white miniskirt hid what I really wanted to see. I took a deep breath in and pushed away the feelings that were building. "Good morning, Major."

"Um, good morning, sir." She sat down at her small desk and began fiddling with the end of her skirt.

I felt my gaze on her grow more intense as I thought about my hands pulling up her skirt. I would slowly pull it up and kiss her. Then I would-

Do paperwork… I need to do paperwork and distract myself from the little temptress.

-Emma-

I glanced over at Mustang, who was vigorously filling out paperwork to meet his deadlines. His knuckles were white and his lips were pressed together. I had offered to help him, but he said, in a rather snappy tone, his signature had to be on it. He gave me files to organize.

I tediously organized the files. Most of them were profiles on military personnel. There were a few on Scar. My eyes caught one file as I saw the name Aiman at the top. I grabbed the file and read through it. As soon as I finished the first paragraph the paper fell from my hands.

"Aiman?" Mustang looked over at me.

My mind couldn't function right. All it processed were the names Athena Aiman and Dianna Aiman. They were wanted by the military for classified reasons. My cousin, Athena, and my aunt, Dianna… they were wanted.

"What can you tell me about this file?" I asked, showing him the file.

Mustang groaned, "You weren't suppose to see that."

"Well, I did. So tell me why Athena and Dianna are wanted." I knew he had every right no to tell me, since I'm related and it could mess up the case, but knowing Mustang…

"I don't know the full story myself, Emma, but it appears that they raided a military base in the North and were sighted on a number of occasions with Scar." Mustang grabbed the file and flipped the page. "Look at this." He pointed to a paragraph, "They were seen with a necklace that looks like the Philosopher's Stone, so Bradley is trying to get them."

"But… the Stone…" I had to think of something. The truth couldn't get out.

"Is an existing legend."

I stared at Mustang. I knew Ed was looking for the Stone, and that Mustang was in on it, but how does anyone know what the Stone looks like?

I had to find Athena and Dianna and help them. Hide them. But… how was I to do that? I don't even know where they are. How could I possibly-

"I've told Bradley that you have no contact with them and never have. I know I shouldn't have, but it was the only way to keep you safe."

Wow. Who would have thought Mustang was so caring? Well… he did say he cared and worried about me.

"Is it time to leave already?" Mustang looked at his pocket watch. "Yep." He closed it and put it back in his pocket.

I grabbed the files that were in order, which was half of them, and walked over to Mustang. "I can finish the rest tomorrow, unless you want me to stay late?"

"No." He grabbed the files from me. "You need to get ready for the tonight, right?"

"Yes…" Tonight was Fuhrer Bradley's Birthday Ball.

"Grab those papers." He pointed to the papers he had been signing. "Follow me, okay?"

"Sure." I grabbed the pile of papers and followed him.

We went to the Records Room first, then to Bradley's office. In the Records Room, Mustang put away the files I had organized, then at Bradley's office, he gave the secretary the papers he had filled out.

Mustang, being the 'gentleman' he was, walked me outside. "Is Maes picking you up?"

"Yeah… but I think he may have forgotten…" I wrapped my arms around myself to block the nightly cold.

"I'll take you home, if that's okay with you?" Mustang took off his uniform jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

"Thank you." I pulled the jacket tighter around me. "That would be nice. I don't want to walk home."

"I wouldn't want you to. It's dark, for one, you don't know your way around, and there are some sick people out at night."

I shivered at his last comment. I didn't want to be… not again. I couldn't handle it. Nate had already…

"Emma?" Mustang touched my arm.

I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts. "Sorry." I followed him to the car.

"Normally, Hawkeye drives me to work and home, but she was working on a case today, and I'm sure she's already home getting ready for tonight." Mustang unlocked the car and helped me in. Once he got in and started the car, he asked, "You're going with Fullmetal, right?"

"Yeah… I figured it would be nice since he has helped me so much."

Mustang glanced at me from the corner of his eye, "Do you… like him?"

Do I like Edward? It's hard to say. He's an attractive boy, very sweet and nice, pretty funny. He is a bit hot-headed, but it's cute to see him freak out. But… does that mean I like him? "I honestly don't know. I don't know that many people here in Central, and I've only been here for a short amount of time, and Edward really has been helpful. He's a nice guy and he's attractive… but I don't know really see us dating or anything."

Why was I telling Mustang that? He had no business knowing about my personal and dating life. He had no reason to care… but… last night he basically told me he was 'attracted' to me and 'lusted' after me. What exactly did that mean? I knew he wanted to… but didn't that mean he liked me? Should I ask him?

"What are you wearing tonight?" Mustang asked after a long moment of silence. His question slightly caught me off guard, mainly because I was so wrapped up in my thoughts.

"Umm… a dress." How else was I to answer?

Mustang smirked, "I mean, is it long, short, pink, black?" Amusement was in his voice and I wanted to smack that smirk off his face.

"You know," I said teasingly, "you keep making that face then it will get stuck like that." I put my hand to his lips and pulled the corners down.

Mustang chuckled, "I have a reputation to uphold."

I smiled, "Oh yes, the Colonel Bastard." I slapped his arm playfully.

"Hey." Mustang smiled. He was very… attractive, when he smiled. He was attractive no matter what. Not like Edward, but more… grown up. Mature. Hot. I knew Mustang rarely showed anyone this side of him.

I smiled sweetly at him and leaned closer to him, "You know, Mustang, if you showed people this side of you… they'd like you more."

His smile faded, but his eyes still shinned, "I do… only to the people I like."

"Like Maes and Gracia?"

"And you."

I blushed, "You… like me?"

Mustang cleared his throat and his voice sounded professional and emotionless, "I guess, I mean… well…"

I laughed and kissed his cheek, "Don't strain yourself, Roy." I smiled as I said his name.

Mustang stiffened and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. His eyes stayed glued on the road, but he jerked the car off the road and onto the side. He shut the car off, unhooked his seatbelt, and pulled me onto his lap. He pulled my head down to his and his lips roughly pressed onto mine.

I gasped as he pressed my back into the steering wheel. His hands gripped my thighs tightly and I was soon kissing him back. All thoughts of getting home and Edward were banished from my head. The only thing I could register, only thing I could think of was Mustang's lips on mine, his hands on my skin, and the odd feeling that was building inside of me.

Mustang pulled away and began kissing my neck. I grabbed his hair and tried to tell him to stop, but I couldn't. I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to feel his lips everywhere. He was making me feel alive. Something that I haven't felt in a long time.

"Roy," I gasped, "we need to…" I trailed off as his fingers danced up my thighs. "We need to head… I need to get home…" I felt high. His lips and fingers were doing wonders to my body. I moaned when his fingers left my thighs and tightly squeezed my breasts. I involuntarily grinded my hips down against Mustang's.

Mustang groaned and kissed me again. Electricity ran through me, causing every nerve and every muscle to come alive, as Mustang's tongue touches mine. His hips jerked up and I tightened my hold on his hair. My body was heating up and I tingled all over. Is this what real passion and arousal feels like?

Mustang pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. The both of us were panting, and I whimpered as Mustang's fingers grazed my breasts.

"I should get you home." He said. His eyes looked dark with lust as he looked down at me.

I bit my lip and nodded, trying to calm down my breathing and get rid of the blush that was on my face. I climbed off Mustang's lap and sat back in the passenger's seat. I felt uncomfortable as a great pressure was… down there…

Mustang had his head leaned back on the seat and he was still slightly panting. After a moment, he turned the car on and started driving again. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, reflecting on what just happened.

We kissed, not only that but…

My body had reacted to him. Mustang played me like a cello. He knew how to make my body sing, how to make me voice the pleasure I felt. I tightened my legs as the pressure pulsed and begged for release. What did this mean? What were to each other now? Was I another notch in his bedpost? Did he have feelings for me? Did I have feelings for him? Whatever this all meant, I knew one thing was certain. It opened a new path in our lives. One that would either be long or short. Rough or easy. Straight or windy. Whatever the path was, it was something that Roy Mustang and I would both travel. Together.


	9. Moon

** Well, this chapter was actually really... enjoyable to write. I'd like to hear (see) your thoughts on the boy who asks Emma to dance. Oooohhh. Anyways, enjoy!**

I was frantically getting ready. Ed would be here any minuet and I wasn't even in my dress! My hair was still damp. I grabbed the dress that was sitting on my bed and pulled it on. I stood in front of the mirror and messed with my hair, trying to find a good way to put it. I decided I would go with a half up half down style. Thankfully, my hair was curly after my shower do to me scrunching it. My makeup was the next thing I busied myself with. I applied glitter to my eyes, then black mascara to my eyelashes. I normally stay away from eyeliner. I put light pink blush on my cheeks and scarlet lipstick on my lips. I pulled back and examined myself. All I needed was jewelry and shoes.

I searched through the jewelry box and pulled out dangly diamond earrings, and a matching diamond necklace. I put a few diamond hair pins in my hair to pull everything together. I smiled at myself in the mirror, happy with the outcome of a half hours worth of work on my look.

"Emma, Edward is here." Gracia walked into my room and smiled brightly as she saw me. "You look so beautiful, dear."

I smiled and blushed, "Thank you."

Maes walked in with a camera in one hand and Elysia in the other. "Oh Elysia! Look at your big sister!" Maes' voice was all goo-goo-ga-ga, and it made me laugh.

"Sissy! You pretty!" Elysia said.

"Thank you, Elysia."

Maes walked over and gave me Elysia to hold. "Now, I'm going to take a picture. Big smiles!"

I held Elysia and smiled at the camera. After a few pictures, Gracia took Elysia and her and Maes walked downstairs where Edward was waiting. I took a deep breath in to try and calm my nerves. Why was I so nervous? It's not like I haven't dressed up and gone to balls before. It's not like I haven't had dates before. So, why was I so nervous? Was it because my date was Edward?

I gasped as a thought passed through my head.

The reason why I was so nervous was because of someone I would see tonight. Someone who would be at the Ball. That someone… was Roy Mustang. I was so nervous to see him. He would see me dressed up and 'looking pretty' for the first time.

Oh no…

Does he have a date? Will he talk to me? What if I see him with someone else? What if he sees me with Ed?

I started to panic. What was I going to do?

"Emma?" Gracia's voice calmed me down, a little.

"Coming!" I slipped on my silver shoes and walked downstairs.

Edward gaped at me when he saw me. He was wearing a white button up shirt and black slacks. I thought he looked cute in somewhat formal clothing. He was holding a bouquet of white flowers, and I thought the gesture was adorable.

"Hi, Emma."

"Hello, Ed."

"Umm… I got these for you." He handed me the flowers and a bright red blush appeared on his cheeks.

I smiled, "That's so sweet of you. Thank you." I took the flowers from him.

"I want pictures." Maes said. "You two stand next to each other."

Edward moved closer to me and put his hands in his pockets.

Maes stared at Ed as if to say _really?_ "Ed, put your arm around Emma."

Edward slowly moved to wrap his automail arm around me. I moved closer to him and suddenly regretted wearing heels. I was much taller than him due to the heels. I smiled as Maes raised the camera.

A few pictures later Ed and I were on our way to Central HQ. We walked. The walk was nice, though it pretty chilly out. Ed and I talked about little things. How I'm doing settling in, how him and Alphonse are doing, just little things.

When we arrived, there were cars lined up along the street. People in fancy dresses and tuxes. I found myself looking for Mustang. Sadly, I couldn't find him.

"Let's go." Ed grabbed my hand and we walked with the crowd of people into the building.

Ed was surprisingly a good dancer. We had been at the Ball for about an hour, and still no sign of Mustang. I told myself that I shouldn't worry about him and that I was here with Ed.

"I'm thirsty." I said.

"Okay. I'll go get us some punch." Ed moved through the throng of people.

I felt like yelling after him to get me wine, but I knew he wouldn't. I stood there, watching as people around me danced. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned.

"You wanna dance?" The teenager asked. I didn't know who he was. He had dark hair that was slightly tinted green. His voice sounded scratchy, but a bit… sexy.

I smiled. One dance with a stranger wouldn't kill anyone. "Sure." I grabbed his hand and we started dancing. "What's your name?"

The boy smirked, "That's not important."

I frowned, "It'd be nice to know your name."

The smirk didn't fade from his face, "Maybe later you'll know."

I stared into his eyes. They were very intriguing. They looked like purple cat eyes. I smiled at him. "Your eyes are very… beautiful."

"Why thank you." The song ended and he bent down and kissed my cheek. "Thanks for the dance, Emma."

I lightly touched my cheek wear the boy had kissed it and thoughts ran rapid through my head. Who was that boy? How did he know my name? Why didn't he tell me his name? Where was Mustang?

I watched him as he walked away. He walked up to Fuhrer Bradley and started whispering to him. Was he close to the Fuhrer?

"Here ya go." Ed had returned and was holding two glasses of punch.

I took one from his hand, "Thank you." I sipped a bit then turned to face him, "Can we go somewhere quiet? I'm starting to get a headache." Not true. I wanted to get away from all the stares I kept getting. Every man in the room, at least those near me, had one point had their eyes on me. It was… unsettling. I just wanted to go somewhere quiet and try to sort out my thoughts.

"Sure." Ed smiled and grabbed my hand. He led me through the crowd and soon we were standing out on a balcony.

It was pretty chilly, so I stood closer to Ed. I gazed up at the stars. They were shinning dully in the sky. The moon was covered by a thin layer of clouds. I laughed in my head as I thought about Mustang. He was like the moon on a cloudy night. You had to peel away the layers to get to him. It wasn't an easy task, but for some reason it came naturally to me when it was pertaining to Mustang. I guess it was because I felt comfortable around him, so he felt comfortable around me. Whatever the reason was… I liked it. I liked being open with Mustang and seeing a side of him that he rarely shows. I like it… maybe a bit too much, and maybe he likes it too much as well.

"What are you thinking about so intensely?" Ed asked.

"Huh?" I turned to face him.

He laughed, "You had this look of intense concentration on your face. It was pretty cute." His flesh hand touched my cheek and I closed my eyes.

I gasped as I thought about Mustang. I wanted it too be him touching me. I wanted it to be him who was standing out here next to me. I opened my eyes and pulled away. I sat on the small bench near the railing and pulled my heels off. "I was just thinking about how beautiful it is tonight."

"Yeah…" Ed sat next to me and leaned back on his hands, "It is pretty nice out tonight." He must have seen me shiver. Ed scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around me. "Better?"

I nodded, "A bit." I glanced inside the ballroom. Couples were dancing. People were talking. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. I kept trying to search for Mustang, but I couldn't find him anywhere.

Ed slowly moved away from me and stood up, "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Sure." I didn't ask him where he was going. He could have been going to the bathroom, or just going to get a drink. I honestly didn't care too much. I watched as he left and walked back into the ballroom.

I sighed and looked back up at the sky. I tried to make pictures out the stars. The most I could make was an arrow. I gave up on trying to play connect the stars and just stared off. I always did just stare off at the sky at night, even when I was a little girl. I found the stars and the moon to be captivating.

"What are you doing out here alone?"

My heart skipped ten beats. I looked over and Mustang was standing a few feet away from me. He was wearing a tux. His hands were in his pockets. His hair was slicked back, but a few pieces fell over his forehead. A genuine smile graced his face.

I smiled, "Ed went to the bathroom… or to get a drink. I'm not really sure." I laughed slightly. _Calm down, Emma. Please, just calm down._ My heart was racing and my cheeks were burning. I was thankful that it was dark out and that the moon was hidden by the clouds.

Mustang pointed to the bench I was sitting on, "May I?"

"Of course." I smiled, then took a deep breath in. I was working myself up into a frenzy.

Mustang sat down next to me and looked up. "I've always liked the nighttime."

"Me too. When I was little, I would sit in the chair next to my window and just look up at the stars and hum or sing to myself. I even drew a few pictures, but I'm a terrible artist." I giggled slightly.

Mustang chuckled. He seemed to have moved closer to me. No, I was just imagining things.

I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself. I bit my lip to stop my teeth from chattering.

"You cold?" Mustang asked.

"I'm fine." I shook my head. I didn't want to worry him with my problems.

Mustang shrugged out of his blazer and draped it over my shoulders. It was warm, and smelled very nice. It smelt like cinnamon and aftershave. I put my arms through the arm holes and laughed as my fingers ended at the elbows of the blazer. "I could swim in this." I joked.

Mustang laughed, "You're so tiny, it swallows you up."

We laughed together. I was slowly pulling back the layers of Roy Mustang. I wondered how many layers there was until I got to his heart. Until I could see who he really is. The moon was slowly peeking out of the clouds that were vanishing. I smiled up at the moon, as if to say _keep trying to come out, little one_.

I looked up at Mustang, into his dark eyes, and my heart started racing again. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to touch him. To taste him. I wanted to feel those strange feelings that I felt when we kissed earlier in the day.

As if reading my mind, Mustang's eyes softened, and his face inched down towards mine. I lifted my face to meet his, and our lips lightly touched before we pulled away. There is was. That feeling. It was so strong. It was like electricity running from my lips down to my toes. Our faces were so close that I could feel Mustang's breath on my lips. I arched towards him and captured his lips again, this time, neither of us pulled away. His tongue danced along my bottom lip, and I parted my lips.

I felt as if we were being watched, but I cast the feeling aside. Nothing else mattered. Just Mustang and the kiss. Nothing else.

My small hands clutched Mustang's shirt and I pressed up against him. His hands went into my hair, lightly pulling my hair so my head would lean back and he could kiss me more deeply. All my senses came to life, just from this one kiss.

I slipped my hands under his shirt and felt his abs and chest. From what I felt, he was nicely toned. If only I could see it. I moaned as Mustang's fingers gripped my thighs.

He pulled away, and the both of us were panting. Mustang's lips attached to my neck and he mumbled, "You look so beautiful tonight." He ran his fingers under my dress and I bit my lip as they ran up my hips.

"Th-thank you." What else was I to say? I really wanted to say _stop talking and kiss me_. I loved the feelings that he caused me to feel. Pressure was building all throughout my body, begging to be released. I knew it was arousal, but how can I feel so much pleasure just from kissing and a few touches?

Mustang roughly pulled away from me and stood up, straightening his shirt. I glanced over at the doorway to see Ed weaving through people to get out to the balcony. I hurriedly pulled my dress back over my thighs.

"Sorry, there was a line." Ed said as he approached me. He looked up and saw Mustang. "What are you doing out here, old man?" Ed sneered at him.

Mustang, who was leaning against the railing, looked over his shoulder, "I needed some fresh air, but I don't have to explain myself to you."

"Your date looks drunk as hell. Where'd you pick this one up, on the corner?"

"A date?" I whispered. I felt like crying. Mustang was here with a date… but he came out and started making out with me? How could he?

"Actually she works at a restaurant." Mustang glanced over at me, as if to see what my reaction would be.

I did nothing to show how I felt about it. I was hurt. I don't know why, but I was. I wanted to leave. I wanted to get out of this place. Get away from Mustang. I wanted to go home.

Ed looked at me with a concerned expression, "Are you okay, Emma?"

I shook my head, "I don't think so. I feel really sick." I really did. I felt sick with the thought that Mustang had a date and yet he was kissing me and making me feel so much pleasure. "Could you take me home, Ed?"

"Sure." Edward grabbed my hand and helped me up.

I didn't even look back at Mustang. I knew that if I did I would start crying. But, why did I care? I didn't _like_ the guy. He just made me feel good. So, _so_ good. Yet, I felt so hurt, so betrayed, at the thought of him having a date for the evening. I wondered how he felt. I had a date for the evening. Did he feel the same way I did? Why would he? He just wanted someone he could toy with then throw away whenever he was finished or got bored. He wanted a whore. A slut. I was neither. Although… I did feel like one for letting him play me like that.

The more I thought about it the more I felt sick, but I couldn't get Mustang off my mind. I looked up at the moon. Roy Mustang was just like the moon. He shone so bright. Some days he only showed half of who he is. Some days he didn't even show who he was at all. Some days he showed exactly who he is. The clouds would hide the moon on some nights, and Mustang would hide behind a façade of cold emotions and arrogance.

Roy Mustang was the moon in my night sky. So beautiful. So mysterious. I wanted to peel away the clouds that hid him and see him for who he truly is. They say if you get too close to the sun it'll burn you. I wonder, what will happen when you get too close to the moon?

… Oh no. I was still wearing his blazer…


	10. Infatuation

-Roy-

Last night was… interesting. My date was very attractive, but I avoided her the whole night. I mainly stayed in the bathroom to stay away from her, or busied myself to talk to some of the higher-ups.

The end of the night was the best part. Emma looked stunningly beautiful. Her short, blue dress fitted her like a glove. Even though it was short, she looked perfect in it. She didn't look trampy or anything of the sort. When I saw her sitting alone out on the balcony I wanted to hold her and make her smile. When things got hot and heavy, I didn't want to stop, but leave it to Fullmetal to ruin things. I heard his automail leg and pulled quickly away from Emma so he didn't see.

Emma left with Fullmetal, claiming to be sick, and after that I left too. I wished the Fuhrer happy birthday then left. I didn't even say by to my date. Once I was home, I noticed that I wasn't wearing my blazer. Emma must have still had it, I thought to myself.

I didn't sleep well that night. I had been tossing and turning all night, dreaming about Emma. Maybe a good day of work will get my mind off of her.

I was first to the office, as always. Hawkeye came in with a pile of paperwork. Fuery and Falman were right at her heels. Havoc and Breda came in late. It was around twelve and Emma still hadn't shown up. I was starting to get worried.

Maes walked in the office, "Hey, Roy!"

"Hello, Maes." I didn't look up from my paperwork. I knew Hawkeye would get mad if I didn't finish.

"Emma isn't coming in today. She's in bed sick, and I mean sick. I feel so terrible for having to come in today, but Gracia and Elysia are taking care of her."

"What's wrong with her?"

"I think it's a bit of food poisoning. She might have eaten something last night that caused her to get sick. She's been throwing up, and when she's not throwing up she's sleeping. Hopefully it'll pass."

Throwing up? Was she back to purging? I doubted it, but I had to check. "Has she eaten?"

"Yeah, but everything she eats comes right back up." Maes made a disgusted look.

Could she possibly be back to purging? I had to check for myself. "Well, she has my blazer from last night. Fullmetal made her sit outside and she was freezing. I think I should go by and get it and check up on her." I stood, but Hawkeye stopped me.

"Sir, you have paperwork to finish."

"I know. I won't be gone long." And with that I left.

I was shocked when Emma answered the door. She was wrapped up in a blanket and her hair was pulled up in a sloppy ponytail. There were dark circles under eyes and faint stains of mascara running down her cheeks. Gracia had gone to the pharmacy with Elysia to pick up some kind of stomach settling pills for Emma.

"May I come in?" I asked.

Emma nodded and turned away from me. She slowly walked up stairs and I followed her to her room. I sat next to her on her bed as she laid down. "Why are you here?" She asked, weakly.

"I came to see how you are, and to get my blazer back." I reached down and touched her forehead. She wasn't hot. I sighed, "Emma… have you been-"

"That's none of your business." She looked away.

That was it. The answer I wanted. She had been purging again. "Why, Emma? I thought you said you weren't doing that anymore?"

"Like I said, it's none of your business." I saw a tear roll down her cheek.

I wiped the tear off her cheek, "Emma, I care. You're my subordinate, not only that, but I really do care about you."

Emma shook her head, "You only care about adding another notch to your bedpost."

I stared at her, stunned. Is that what she thought? Did she honestly think all I wanted was to have sex with her. I won't lie, the thought has crossed my mind many times, but I wouldn't do that to a young girl like her. Every time we kissed and touched, I wanted to just throw her down and take her, but another part of me wanted to hold her and keep her safe. "Emma… how could you think that?"

"Because that's what you do with other women. I mean, I'm just a girl." I could tell her temper was rising, "What? Have you fucked all the women in Central and you're moving on to younger girls?"

"Emma, I have not, as you say, fucked all the women in Central. I truly do care about you and your health. Emma," I lightly grabbed her cheek and turned her head to look at me, "I don't understand why I'm… lusting after you, but lust aside I care about you."

I pulled her onto my lap as she began to cry. Emma buried her face in my chest and held me. _She is a child after all_. I stroked her hair and allowed her to stain my shirt with her tears. I whispered softly into her ear, "Talk to me, Emma. I'm here."

Emma sniffed, "I'm so… I'm alone…" She sobbed and squeezed my shirt in her small fists.

"You're not alone, Emma. You have Maes, Gracia, Elysia, me… You're not alone." I understood why she was saying she was alone. She was an orphan. She had no siblings. The only family she had, that I knew of, was her aunt and cousin who were being hunted by the military. Emma was having a rough time.

She sobbed, "Roy…" Even with the pain in her voice, I loved the way my name came out of her mouth.

"Yes, Emma?"

She looked up at me and pulled my head down. Her lips were pressed against mine, and I had to fight all urges to push her down on her bed and take her in all ways possible.

I wiped her cheeks as I kissed her deeply, my tongue seeking hers. I was shocked when Emma laid down and pulled me on top of her. I suppressed a groan as Emma's hips arched up and rolled against mine. _She's only fifteen. Yes, but she'll be sixteen in a few days. She's only a child. A child who doesn't look like it._

I was fighting with myself. Emma was only a child. I was a full grown man. Not only is it illegal, but I could lose my rank as Colonel and my title as a State Alchemist. I looked into Emma's eyes. She had stopped crying. Her eyes were glossed over with lust and… fear?

I nearly lost it when Emma's hands went under my shirt. I pulled away from the kiss and took in the sight of her. Her cheeks were tinted red. Her lips were swollen. She was panting. My lips attached to her neck, and I smirked as Emma let out a high pitched moan. I whispered into her ear, "Emma, if we keep going, I won't be able to stop. Tell me to stop right now." I took her ear into my mouth and nibbled it.

Emma arched into me, "I need this… I need you, Roy."

"You don't know what you're saying, Emma. Tell me to stop."

She shook her head, "No. I don't want you to stop."

I pulled back from her and looked into her eyes. The fear was gone. I lightly touched her cheek, "Emma, I care about you. I really do. I don't want you to think that I'm doing this just so I can have sex with you."

Emma kissed my cheek and smiled, "I know, Roy. I was just… really upset… and confused… and scared. I want this, Roy. I need this. I need you."

I couldn't do this. I could not have sex with Emma. She was just a child. I would lose my job if anyone found out. I'd also go to jail. I could not. I would not.

I got off of Emma and sat on the edge of the bed. This girl was going to be the end of me. I was… _infatuated_ with her. I had very little control of my actions whenever I was around her.

I had to get away from her. I needed to clear my head.

I got up, grabbed my blazer, and left.

-Emma-

I'm an idiot. I really am. Why the hell did I let Mustang touch me like that? Why the hell did I let him kiss me? Why the hell was I willingly giving myself to him? I could just… punch myself in the face. Not only did I tell him I 'need him,' but he knows that I've started…

I sighed and finished getting dressed. What happened the day before was just a memory. It didn't mean anything. The fact that we were in my room and almost… Nope. It meant nothing.

I tired to pull my skirt down. It was shorter then the last time I wore it. Oh well. I needed to get going. Maes was waiting for me downstairs.

I skipped down the stairs and said goodbye to Elysia and Gracia then got into the car with Maes. He drove to Headquarters, and the whole way I was dreading it. I didn't want to see Mustang. I really didn't. What had happened the previous day… it was nothing.

I walked into the office and immediately regretted wearing such a short skirt. There were three fans sitting around the room blowing in every direction. One rotated in my direction and I blushed as I had to hold down my skirt. To make matters worse… Mustang noticed.

I took in a shaky breath and walked over to my desk. Why the hell was I getting so worked up? Mustang was just my superior, my commanding officer. He's… incredibly attractive. No! Stop it, Emma! Don't think like that!

I had to clear my head. I had to do something!

I started the pile of paperwork that was on my desk. Damn, when I came into the military I didn't expect to have to do so much damn paperwork. I glanced around the room. Havoc was sulking in his chair, for what reason? Who knows. Breda was playing a game of chess with Falman. Fuery was speaking to them in a worried voice to do their work. Mustang… no. I wouldn't look at him. I wouldn't… I wouldn't… Damn. Mustang was leaning back in his chair with his light blue button up shirt half unbuttoned. The first two buttons were undone. His sleeves were pulled up to his elbows. A small bead of sweat fell down his face. His charcoal eyes were hidden by his eyelids.

A flash of what happened last night crossed my mind and I blushed furiously. The feel of his lips on mine. His hips pressed against mine. His light but firm touches. I stood up and tried to open the window behind me. It was way to hot and stuffy…

"Aiman," that deep, seducing voice caused me to bite my lip, "what are you doing?"

I looked back at Mustang, "Trying to open the window. It's a bit stuffy in here, and I thought opening the window would take some of the hot air out."

Mustang flicked his wrist at me as if to signal to me to go ahead.

I tried, again, to open the window, but it wouldn't budge. "Fucking window." I muttered under my breath.

I suddenly felt a warm chest pressed against my back and hot breath breathing down my neck, "You need to unlock it first." I nearly shivered as Mustang whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes and remembered how he licked and nibbled on my ear. I bit my lip as Mustang pressed his body against mine as he opened the window.

"Th-thanks." I turned to face him once he stepped away. My face was hot, and I knew I was blushing. Mustang looked at me with a smug grin, and I instantly felt sick.

_See, Emma! He's just playing with you! What he said last night about caring about you and not wanting to have sex with you just for sex was a lie! It was all just to fuck you! But… if that was true… why did he sound so sincere when he said it? BECAUSE HE WAS LYING!_

I sighed and walked back to my desk. All this self-confliction was too much and was making my head hurt. I went back to paperwork, ignoring the fact that Mustang was staring at me. I smiled and started humming an old song I remembered from my childhood. It was a good way for me to clear my head.

The door opened and Riza walked in. She took in the appearances of the men in the room and instantly had her gun out. "Shouldn't you boys be working?" She pointed the gun at Mustang, "Especially you, sir?"

Mustang's eyes widened and he quickly began signing paperwork. The other boys hustled to their desks and started fiddling with things and mumbling about, what appeared to be, military stuff.

Riza sat at her desk, next to mine, and shook her head, "Are women the only ones that actually do work?"

I laughed, "Apparently." I looked at Havoc who was still sulking. "What's up with Havoc?"

Riza rolled her eyes, "He got dumped last night. I'm surprised this one didn't go to the Colonel."

Stupid, playboy Roy Mustang…

"That's a shame." I felt bad. Havoc was a decent man. He was sweet, handsome, rather funny, and he wasn't a pervert… as far as I know.

Lunch break. Riza isn't letting Mustang leave for break until he finishes his paperwork. Breda, Falman, and Fuery have already left to grab some food. I stood up and stretched, blushing as I felt my skirt hike up. I walked over to Havoc and touched his shoulder gently, "Hey, Havoc, you want to go get some lunch?"

He looked up at me and the dead look in his blue eyes faded away. He smiled, "That sounds great."

Havoc drove us to this nice outdoor café. The whole way there Havoc asked me simple questions about my life, which I answered honestly. Something about Havoc made me… trust him. I knew I could tell him the truth about some things. His questions were simple like, where I grew up. What I did when I was little. What I like to do in my spare time. Simple things.

Havoc ordered pasta, and I ordered a salad.

"So, Havoc, I hear you got…" How do I put it nicely? "… you and your girlfriend broke up?"

Havoc's smiling expression faded and he stared down at his pasta, "Yeah…"

I shouldn't have brought it up. I reached over and touched his hand, "She doesn't know what she's missing."

He looked up at me, "What do you mean?"

"Jean… you're a great guy. Any girl who doesn't see that is just blind."

Havoc cocked his head to the side, "There are better guys then me, like Mustang."

I shook my head, "Mustang isn't sensitive and sweet like you. He may be a smooth talker, but you are genuinely sweet and kind. I know I haven't known you that long, but our talk on the way here… I could tell you were interested in learning more about me. The little jokes you made was your way of trying to keep me happy. Jean, you are one of those guys that every girl dreams of being with, but the ones you have been with are either just too shallow to realize it, or aren't interested in a real relationship. Don't worry, you'll find your girl one day." I gave him a reassuring smile.

Everything I said to him is true. Jean Havoc is one of those men that every girl wants. By telling him all this, it just made me feel guilty and… unwanted.

The way I reacted to Mustang… it made me sick, but… it also made me… excited. I thought Mustang really did care about me, but obviously I was wrong. He just wanted another toy. A girl he could play with and then throw away when he got bored. I felt so guilty for reacting the way I did… and I felt unwanted at knowing Mustang just wanted a good fuck.

But, even knowing all this… why does my heart race when I look at him? Why do I dream about him? Why do I think about him?

Do I have a crush on Roy Mustang?

No.

Not a crush.

_Infatuation_.


	11. Devious Plan

Today is my birthday… but with the way things are going… I'm wishing it's not. I woke up late, which caused me to have to hurry to get ready. I threw on a pair of dark wash shorts that barely covered anything and a red tube top. My makeup was half done when Maes yelled for me, so I ended up going to work with just mascara and pink lipgloss. Mustang must have knew I was having a bad day, because when Havoc came up to me to wish me happy birthday, Colonel Bastard yelled at me for being late. After being scolded like a damn three year old who stole a cookie, Mustang gave me a stack of files that needed to be organized and a stack of paperwork that needed to be filled out. To top it all off, I got stung by a bee while sitting at my desk and my shoulder swelled up like a balloon.

Riza was looking at the sting, "Emma, are you allergic to bees?"

Was I allergic to bees? As far as I knew, no. My mother was, along with my aunt and cousin, but I wasn't. At least… I didn't know if I was or not. I knew I was allergic to cinnamon, which sucks because I really like cinnamon, but bees?

"I don't know if I'm allergic. My parents never said anything about it. My mother was-"

Colonel Asshole cut me off, "Yeah, she's allergic." He quickly looked at my shoulder then pulled me up. "We need to get you to the hospital ward."

I instantly paled. "Hospital?" I wasn't going to go. I couldn't stand needles or doctors or medicine. I was terrified. Just the thought of having to go get a check up made me freeze up. The fact that I had to go because I got stung by a bee… I wasn't moving.

Mustang tugged on my arm, then looked back at me when he noticed I wasn't moving. "Aiman," He looked at my face then his eyes softened, "Aiman?"

I shook my head, "Don't want to go… I don't…" I started shaking and my breathing quickened.

"Sir, she's hyperventilating." Riza said as she walked up to us.

"I see that, Lieutenant." Mustang growled. He pulled my arm lightly, "Come on, Aiman. We need to get that bee sting checked out before it causes you to be sick."

I shook my head. The last thing I wanted to do was go see a doctor. Not after all I've been through in the past. The way they-

"Aiman!"

I didn't notice it, but I was falling. My head hit the ground and I winced. The last thing I remember is Mustang kneeling next to me looking tremendously worried.

The first thing I register is that my head hurts. Second is that my shoulder feels like its burning. Third… my eyes are closed. I opened my eyes and squinted as bright lights half blinded me.

Voices mumbled and sounded distant. I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting to the light, and my other senses kicked in as well. The voices were now clear.

"She will be fine."

"Okay."

"Oh, look, she's awake."

I groaned as my head throbbed. "Ow… my head."

"You'll have a bump there for a while. You hit your head pretty hard." An old man was looming over me. I noticed that he was a doctor. "You're lucky you didn't get a concussion."

Mustang was standing beside him, "All this because of a small bee sting." Amusement was shinning in his eyes. Good to know that he liked watching other people suffer.

"However small that bee sting was it's a good thing you brought her here. Miss Aiman, you are allergic to bees."

I rolled my eyes. "Good to know." I sat up, "Can I go now?"

The doctor nodded his head. "Yes, but the Fuhrer came in and wanted you to go see him after you woke up, only if you are okay to go see him."

I jumped up off the hospital bed. Anything to get out of here. "I'm feeling fine." I got a bit dizzy and almost fell over, but Mustang caught me. I blushed when he lightly squeezed my waist before letting me go.

"Don't over exert yourself." The doctor said chuckling.

"Yeah…" I pulled away from Mustang, shooting him a dirty look over my shoulder, bowed my head slightly to the doctor, and left.

I hate hospitals and doctors. I really do. I know that it was just a small hospital wing, but it was still a hospital and the man was still a doctor. I've always been scared of doctors and hospitals and needles and medicine. Yeah, I know. What kind of alchemist is scared of the doctors? Me. That's who.

I knocked on the Fuhrer's door and shuffled my feet until he opened it.

"Ah, Emma Aiman." He cracked a smile and wrinkles appeared around his eye. "Come in." He stepped back from the door allowing me inside his massive office, then closed it once I entered. He walked over to his desk and sat down. "I see you're feeling better."

"Yeah. Just a small bee sting and a bump on my head." I bit my lip nervously.

"Sit down, please." I sat. "By the way, happy birthday."

My head snapped up at him. That's right, it's my sixteenth birthday today.

"Something wrong?"

"No, no." I shook my head. "I just forgot it was my birthday."

Fuhrer Bradley chuckled and I blushed. "You're too young to forget it's your birthday. Now, the reason why I wanted to see you today is to ask you a few questions."

I felt like my heart had stopped and my blood had run cold. Questions? What kind of questions? Is this going to be some interrogation? I felt myself getting worked up. My heart was racing and my breathing was turning rapid.

The Fuhrer stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of me. "You left for alchemy training when you were ten, correct?"

"Yes, I left my home when I was ten and studied for three years."

The Fuhrer studied me, as if debating whether I was telling the truth or not. "Your parents didn't approve of alchemy?"

I nodded, "Yeah. They were… They didn't like alchemy. I don't know why… but they didn't." That was a lie. I knew why they didn't like it alchemy, especially my father. They didn't like alchemy because-

The door opened, causing me to lose track of my thoughts, and a boy walked in. I looked at him for a minuet. I knew him from somewhere… but where? It clicked. He was the strange boy that I danced with at the Ball. Though, looking at him now… one would think he was a girl, except he didn't have any boobs. He was wearing a skirt like thing and tight half shirt. One word registered in my mind; Tacky.

"I'm in the middle of something." The Fuhrer said.

The boy looked at me and my heart started beating fast as I looked into his purple eyes. There was a look in his eyes… something strange. Passionate… possessive? He looked at Fuhrer Bradley and smirked, "Just pretend I'm not here." He sat up on the Fuhrer's desk and his gaze returned to me.

"Major Aiman, may I ask you one more thing?"

I nodded, taking my eyes off the boy, "Of course, sir."

The Fuhrer's gaze was serious. "Will you take off your shirt?"

My eyes widened, my jaw dropped, and my cheeks heated. "I-I'm sorry… what?" Did he just ask me… to…

"If you're not comfortable with it, that's fine."

I took a deep, calming breath and nodded my head. "No, no. I'll do it." I smiled slightly, "You just caught me off guard." I laughed slightly.

The Fuhrer nodded and looked at the boy, "I can send him away if that'll make you more comfortable."

I shrugged, " It's fine really. I'm used to-" I immediately stopped what I was saying. _Hush! He doesn't need to know that bit of information_…

The Fuhrer raised an eyebrow, but remained silent.

I took another calming breath and took off the tube top I was wearing. I shivered slightly when the cold air hit me. I watched as the Fuhrer slowly circled me, looking at me up and down. I glanced at the boy sitting on the desk and his eyes had looked darker then before. I blushed and looked down, letting the Fuhrer continue his looking.

"Alright, that confirms my thoughts."

"Umm… may I ask why you had me take off my shirt?"

"Diana and Athena Aiman. Your aunt and cousin. The military is searching for them, and a few commanding officers have come to me with suspicions that you are affiliated with them. Both of them have a tattoo on their hips of an eye with a pentagram as the pupil. I asked you to take off your shirt to confirm that you do not have a tattoo like that."

I sighed, "I haven't talked to them since my parents' funeral." That was true. I have had no contact with Diana and Athena in three years.

The Fuhrer eyed my stomach, "What is this scar here?"

I looked down at my flat stomach and saw the scar. It was a scar that I was ashamed of. It was shaped like an N. I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying.

"Major Aiman, I asked you a question."

I looked up at the Fuhrer and spoke in a weak voice, "My ex-boyfriend… he…" I sighed and knew I had to tell Fuhrer Bradley. "One night he was angry with me and took a knife and carved into my stomach 'Nathaniel's Pet,' and lucky for me it didn't scar that bad. Only the N became a scar, but it's really hard to tell it's an N." I was surprised at how calm I was, and about the fact that I was not crying.

The Fuhrer had a look of shock in his eye, "And this ex-boyfriend of yours, did he do anything else to you?"

I looked down, not wanting to answer. Memories flashed into my mind and tears slowly slipped down my cheeks.

_It started raining out so I decided to head in. My practice can wait. I stepped inside Nathaniel's house, dripping wet. I quietly walked to the bathroom, not wanting to disturb him from whatever it was he was doing. Unfortunately he was walking out of the bedroom when I reached the bathroom._

"_What do you think you're doing? Getting my floor dripping wet?"_

_I cowered against the wall, terrified, "I'm sorry, Nate… I'm sorry." That was when the first hit of the night occurred. He hit my cheek so hard my head snapped to the side and I fell down. "Nathaniel, please-"_

"_SHUT UP!" He kicked my side and I felt a rib snap._

_I cried out in pain and fear. I knew what was coming. He'd beat me, then throw me on the bed and take me as many times as he wanted._

_After a few blows he stopped abruptly. He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom and threw me roughly on the bed. "Don't move."_

_I nodded. If I ever disobeyed him… it only made things worse. He came back in with a knife in his hand. I sobbed and crawled back on the bed until my back hit the wall. "No… no please…"_

_He grabbed my ankle and pulled me towards him. He slowly crawled over me and ripped my wet clothes off with the knife until I was naked. "You will learn your place, Emma." He drove the knife into my stomach and I screamed out. After he had carved the knife in my stomach, he smirked down at me and stripped…_

I shook my head, trying to get the memory of that night out of my head. I quickly wiped my eyes and looked up at the Fuhrer. "I'm sorry. What did you ask?" I knew what he had asked, I just didn't want to answer.

Though with the look in his eye, he got the answer he wanted. "It doesn't matter. You may put your shirt back on."

I glanced at the boy and quickly looked away blushing. I pulled the tube top back on and looked up at Fuhrer Bradley. "Is there anything else you wanted?"

"That is all. You may leave." I turned to leave, but stopped when the Fuhrer called my name, "Major Aiman, happy birthday." His lips were pulled up in a soft smile.

I smiled back, "Thank you." I quietly left, and headed back to the office where Colonel Asshole was probably waiting to give me more paperwork.

-Envy-

I watched the tiny girl leave then looked lazily at Wrath, "So she's the Singing Alchemist you've told Father about?"

"Yes."

The girl was quiet attractive. An attractive girl with a troubled past is the most dangerous. I smirked as I thought about how timid she acted, "She doesn't seem like the type who would be in the military. She seems high maintenance and girly."

Wrath nodded, "She is. Mustang informed me that she refuses to wear the military uniform and that he's allowing her to wear her own clothes in exchange that she does his paperwork."

I sneered, "That man is such a lazy ass. I don't see why Father wants him alive. He's just a pest, just like all these other humans."

Wrath sat down and waved his hand to shoo me, "If you just came here to talk my ear off, leave, I'm busy."

I grumbled and jumped off his desk, "Whatever." I walked out of the office, shifting into some random military officer, and walked through the halls.

I thought about that girl, Emma? Yeah, Emma. She had a pretty face, and a nice body. What she had said about the scar on her stomach, hell, even _I'm_ not _that_ sadistic. I can't even believe it, but I felt sorry for the girl. … Fuck that, I don't care about that pathetic human.

I walked outside, ready to change back, but something odd caught my eye. It was the Fullmetal pipsqueak and the girl. She ran over to the pipsqueak and kissed him. I raised an eyebrow. Why would the girl be with the pipsqueak? Whatever the reason, it would be extremely fun to mess with them and piss the pipsqueak off.

I smirked as I walked past them, a devious plan was forming in my head.


	12. Tears and Trust

~~Sorry this is sooo late. I've been very busy lately. I'll try to update as much as I can. Anyways, I hope you like this (rather short) chapter. It's very hard to write as Envy and keep him in charcter, so please bare with me. Some info about Emma is said, but it's rather vague for a reason. So don't feel dumb, haha. If you have a question I'll answer it, unless it'll give something away. Hope you enjoy!~~

Ed was taking me out for my birthday, which was pretty exciting. At least there's one thing I can look forward to on my sweet sixteen… even though it's not really sweet. His warm arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me slightly to him as we walked. I looked up at him and smiled. Ed was really a sweet kid. I wonder if he remembers me from back in Resembool…

I sighed, he wouldn't remember.

"You okay, Emma?" He asked.

Should I tell him? If I told him what would he think? I mean, I'm sure he would remember, but would he believe me? "Hey, Ed… umm… there's something I kinda need to talk to you about…"

Ed smiled gently, "Sure, what is it?"

I pulled him over to a bench on the sidewalk and sat down. When he sat beside me I smiled, "You may think I'm crazy, but we know each other. Like, as in, from childhood." Ed gave me a weird look and I continued, "Maybe this will help." I turned around and took my contact out and pulled my hair as if it was in a ponytail then looked at him. "Remember now?" I smiled sweetly, knowing he'd remember.

Edward's eyes widened and he smiled brightly. "Astarte!" He laughed, "I thought you were familiar! The long hair and two green eyes threw me off."

I giggled and let my hair down, "It's Emma now, Edo."

"I can see that, _Emma_. But, why? After you left for training… we never heard from you. Then your parents… you were still gone. What happened?"

"Well… I came home that night, that they died, and after… I just grabbed what I could and left. I knew that the rest of Amestris, the rest of the world for that matter, wouldn't like the fact that I'm half Ishvalan, so… I started wearing a green contact so I could hide my red eye. I lived on my own, and…" I trailed off. I shouldn't tell Ed the truth. He'd hate me…

Edward and I grew up together in Resembool. Him, Alphonse, Winry, and I were best friends, but to them I was Astarte Emmalynn Laguz. That's my real name. Back then, the four of us didn't have a care in the world. We had fun, went to school, played. Everything was perfect. The people in Resembool were accepting about my father, Fray Brandon, being Ishvalan. My mother, Isis Laguz, was Amestrisian. She and the Rockbell's were close friends. But, when the day came that my parents were killed, I was scared. I knew I should have gone to Winry's, but I left…

"Emma?"

I blinked a few times then looked at Ed, "S-sorry… I kinda dazed out."

Ed smiled and wrapped his arm around me again, "I'm so glad you're okay. Hell, you're more then okay. The second youngest State Alchemist." He smirked, and I knew a cocky comment was about to come out of his mouth, "You never were able to beat me at anything."

"Bull! Alphonse and I would _always_ beat you when we swam in the river!" I giggled and leaned against him. Maybe this birthday wouldn't be so bad.

"Oh, whatever."

I smiled and played with his hand in my lap. Maybe meeting back up with Edward is fate, or something like that. Sitting happily with Ed, I felt this strange prickling feeling that we were being watched with hateful eyes. I looked around, but all the people who were walking around were minding their own business or talking to whoever was beside them. Maybe I was just being paranoid, like always.

I heard loud clanking and looked to see Alphonse running up to us. "Hey, brother! Remember when I told you that Emma seemed familiar? Well- Emmy!"

I smiled at Al. He always called me Emmy when we were younger. He couldn't pronounce Astarte, so he just called me Emmy. Winry called me Emma. It was Ed that would call me Astarte.

"Hi, Al. So you remembered, huh? I had to tell your dumb brother." I playfully slapped Edward's arm.

"Hey! I'm not dumb."

"Oh, sure." I said sarcastically. I wouldn't tell them anything about what happened after I left. They wouldn't be able to bare it…

Edward and Alphonse took me back to the house. Maes was happy to see Ed and Al.

"You two want to join us for cake?" Maes asked as we walked in.

"Yeah!" Ed said. He looked excited.

"As if we need anymore people in here." I froze up when I heard Mustang's voice. What the hell was he doing here?

I walked into the kitchen to see him opening up the oven and pull a cake out. When he turned around he smiled at me. I glanced out into the living room. Ed and Al were playing with Elysia and Maes and Gracia were watching them. I walked up to Mustang. "What are you doing here?"

Mustang frowned and pulled the oven mitt off his hand. "You don't sound happy to see me."

"Why would I be?" I leaned back on the counter. "You're an asshole."

Mustang smirked and put his hands on either side of me on the counter and leaned in close, "You didn't think so when you were practically begging me to fuck you."

I blushed at hearing him say that. "S-stop saying vile things."

His smirk grew and he pressed his lips to mine. The kiss wasn't rough, but it wasn't gentle. It was… amazing. My body tingled and I moaned softly when his tongue touched mine. I grabbed his shirt and arched my body into his. Why did I always react this way around Roy Mustang?

Mustang's hands slid down my sides and squeezed my butt. He picked me up and sat me on the counter. I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and tangled my hands in hi hair, pulling slightly to deepen the kiss. It was Mustang's turn to moan. His furtive fingers trailed up my thigh and traced circles on my inner thigh. His other hand crept up my shirt and cupped my breast.

I moaned a bit loudly and arched into him. There it was again. That feeling of being watched. Before I could even think another second about it, voices grew close and Mustang pulled away, smoothing out his shirt. His cheeks were slightly tinted pink and he was trying hard to control his breathing.

I sat on the counter for a few more seconds, panting, trying to catch my breath. My lips were swollen and my body was tingling with the arousal Mustang had caused me to feel. I jumped down just as Maes walked in.

"Cake time!" He said happily. Gracia and Elysia followed after him, along with Edward and Alphonse. All of them were unaware of what had just happened…

-Envy-

The scene I had just watched made me want to vomit. That pathetic human girl let that disgusting Mustang touch her the way he did. It was obvious that all he wanted from her was sex, but the human girl was too dumb to realize it.

Alright, dumb is the wrong word for her, seeing as how she's playing the pipsqueak. She's practically dating the half-pint, and here she is about ready to fuck Mustang.

I continued watching through the window, until the human girl walked upstairs to her room. I climbed higher in the tree I was perched in and looked into her room. She looked around, uneasily, as if she could feel me watching her. She probably did. After a while she started to strip.

I'm sick. I admit it. Watching a human girl strip.

My eyes crawled over every inch of skin. I was expecting to see perfect, flawless skin, but instead I saw small scars covering her stomach and back, even her chest. I wondered how she got those scars. She defiantly hasn't seen battle, so where did she get those scars?

I mentally stripped her of her underwear. I shifted uncomfortably as I continued to watch her. She pulled on a silk nightgown that clung to her slight curves. The human girl's body was exactly curvy. She was very tiny, but she had slight curves. Then again, she was only- what? Sixteen?

"Envy, get down here." I jumped slightly hearing Lust's sultry voice. I looked down and she was standing there, her arms crossed across her chest.

I jumped down and looked up at her, "What do you want?"

"Father was expecting you three hours ago, but instead you're stalking this girl. He sent me to come get you." Lust glanced into one of the windows of the house, and saw the human girl. "She is cute, but she's taking up too much of your concentration."

"Yeah, yeah."

I stood in front of Father as he looked at me with hollow eyes. "Envy, you do remember why you're watching over the new State Alchemist, Emma Aiman, right?"

I was very uninterested in what he had to say. I just wanted to go back and watch her, "Yeah, yeah. She's one of our sacrifices. Bla, bla, bla."

Father's eyes narrowed and I immediately shut up and looked down. That's the thing about Father. He was rarely ever pleased with me, but was always pleased by what the others did. I always had to try harder, which sucks cuz I hate putting in extra effort.

"Envy, if this girl is growing on you, then I'll have you watch over the Elric's again."

I sighed, "No, no. I'll keep watching her…"

I was back at the house- Hughes I believe is the family name- watching the human girl again. She was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall.

Why was I acting this way towards her? Because I'm Envy. I'm envious of her and what she has. I don't want anyone else touching her, talking to her, looking at her. I want her to be mine. I wanted to take her from this house, tie her down to my bed, and have my way with her, making her scream my name in pleasure and pain.

I was startled when I saw a small tear running down her cheek. The girl- Emma- was crying. She pulled her legs up and rested her chin on her knees and cried. Oddly, I wanted to go in and comfort her. The girl- Emma- laid down and her body shook with sobs. I stealthily climbed in through the open window and walked over to her bed.

I shouldn't be doing this. I should leave. My hand touched her cheek, and she looked up at me, tears on her cheeks, and whispered, "You're the boy from the Ball…" She sniffed and grabbed my hand.

I was extremely surprised when she pulled me down to sit on the bed with her. I sat, and gently stroked her hair. She pulled me closer, and I laid down next to her. The gi- Emma, curled up next to me and held me. I laid there, thinking; Why would a girl like her trust some total stranger? She was holding me, crying into my chest, trusting me. I could kill her. Rape her. I could do anything, but she trusted me.

Her trust in me surprised me greatly…


	13. Just Hold Me

**So sorry I'm updating late. A lot is going on with school and college and stuff. I know things have been kind of 'boring' or whatever, so I promise the next chapter will be much more intresting! Tell me what you think!**

Who was this boy? Why am I freely letting him hold me? He was the same boy who asked me to dance at the Ball, and the same boy who was in the Fuhrer's office earlier on in the day. Has he been stalking me? How did he come in my room?

I had been thinking about my parents, and about how this is another birthday they're not here for. It's another birthday spent alone, crying in my room. Maybe I was accepting this total stranger because I felt comfort from him holding me. He could rape me. Kidnap me. Kill me. I knew this, but I honestly didn't care. In my time of need, he was here, and that's all I needed.

I normally don't trust people this much. It takes a long time for me to actually fully trust someone, so the fact that I'm _allowing_ some _stranger_ to hold me shocked me.

I calmed down as I felt his warm arms around my waist. I looked up at him as my tears subsided. He was staring up at the ceiling, a strand of green tinted hair was in his face. "What's your name?" I asked quietly.

He glanced down at me and I was captivated by his eyes. They were a beautiful shade of amethyst. The pupils were slits, not normal circles. I gazed into his eyes, as if I was hypnotized by the beauty and mystery of them. His thin lips moved, but I wasn't paying attention to what he said.

I snapped out of my trance, "Sorry… What?" I blushed, embarrassed that I had been staring.

The boy smirked slightly at seeing my embarrassment, "I said, why do you want to know?"

"Let's see, you dance with me at a ball, you saw me take my shirt off in the Fuhrer's office, and you're somehow in my room." I smirked playfully, "I think I deserve to know the name of my stalker."

The boy chuckled, "Stalker?"

"Why else would you be in my room? Hmmm?"

"Touché." The boy shrugged, "You really don't need to know my name. It isn't important."

The way he said it in a way that made me frown. He said 'it isn't important,' but it sounded like '_I'm_ not important.'

"Tell me, please?"

The boy looked down at me and hesitated, "… Envy."

"Envy? Like the seven deadly sins?" I smiled slightly, "That's a unique name."

Envy sighed, looked back up at the ceiling, and whispered, "If you only knew…"

I bit my lip and chose not to comment. I snuggled into his side, and carelessly fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning confused. Did the previous night actually happen? Did that boy come in my room? I sat up and looked around. There was no evidence that he had been there. My window was shut and locked.

I sighed and laid down. I was just a dream. I rolled over and something caught my eye. I picked up a long strand of hair that gave off a green glint when the sun hit it. I smiled, it _wasn't_ a dream. Envy had really come to my bedroom.

I know that any normal girl would be very bothered about the thought of some random boy coming into their room, but oddly enough… it didn't bother me that much.

I dropped the piece of hair to the floor and snuggled into my pillows. The one Envy had been laying on smelled like sandalwood and ginger. It smelt so… different and good.

There was a light knocking on my door before Gracia opened it, "Emma, you have to get up dear."

I groaned, "I'm too tired…"

She laughed, "You shouldn't have eaten so much cake last night."

I grumbled, "Cake has nothing to do with it… I just didn't sleep that well." I sat up and stretched.

"Why didn't you sleep well?" Gracia asked as she looked at me with worried eyes.

I sighed, "Just thinking about my mother and father, and how they're not here." I was tearing up slightly. I really missed my parents, I mean who wouldn't? I just wished that they were here… That they never were killed… That I had actually done something to protect them.

"Emma?" Gracia lightly touched my cheek and wiped my tear. "I know you love your parents much, but they wouldn't want you to sit around crying." She smiled motherly, "I'm here for you, Emma. Along with Maes. _We're _here for you, Emma. Don't forget that." Gracia smiled and kissed my forehead. "Now, hurry up. Roy's coming to pick you up."

Wait… What? "Why him? What about Maes?" The last thing I wanted was to be near Mustang.

"He's already left, dear. He had a meeting." She quickly left my room to give me privacy.

I sat in my bed. Should I feign sickness? Would Mustang try to mess with me again? Would I let him? Of course he will, and of course I will. That's how Roy Mustang and I are.

There was some… strange… attraction between us. Whenever I'm around Roy Mustang… I can't control myself. I feel myself being pulled towards him. I can't resist him. He's an egotistical, cocky, jerk who just happens to be incredibly sexy and caring. The way his black hair falls over his eyes… The way his charcoal eyes shine mischievously… The way he laughs and his whole face lights up…

I shook my head, "Stop thinking about-" My door opened and Mustang's head popped in, "Mustang…" I sighed, "Sorry… I'm kind of running late. Do you think you can wait about thirty minuets?"

He smiled, "Sure."

I nodded, "Okay." I watched as he closed the door. I got up and started getting ready.

Mustang was driving, I was sitting in the passenger's seat. My hands were folded in my lap and I was staring out the window. The landscaped passed in a blur. Street lights, houses, people, trees, all blurred as Mustang drove by them. I glanced over at him, catching the appealing scent of aftershave, cinnamon, and something strong… Liquor perhaps?

I giggled slightly at the thought swarming my head. I'm allergic to cinnamon, and Roy Mustang _always_ smells like cinnamon. Maybe that's how our 'relationship' can be described. The cinnamon, being Mustang, isn't good for me. Or something corny like that.

"What's funny?" Mustang's eyes drifted over to look at me, and I smiled at seeing the humor in them.

"Just a dumb thought." I giggled and leaned a bit close to him, "You know, you smell like cinnamon."

"Really? I had no idea."

"I was just thinking about how I'm allergic to cinnamon. It's _so_ yummy though." I smiled as he laughed.

"Cinnamon is pretty good. Though, I prefer spicy stuff." He smiled.

"I love curry chicken. It's my favorite." I replied.

"I can make a pretty good curry chicken. You'll have to come over to my place once so I can make it for you."

I blushed slightly. The thought of going to Mustang's home caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach. "S-sounds like a plan." I smiled at him, trying to contain my nervousness.

"Oh, before I forget. Today is an inspection." Mustang said as he continued focusing on the road.

"What's that?"

"The Fuhrer sends in people to inspect everyone pretty much. Let's see, it's just physical stuff. Your weight, height, reaction time, things like that." Mustang turned his head slightly and smiled at me, "Don't worry, it's nothing too drastic."

I nodded, feeling a terrible feeling in my stomach. I had been doing pretty good. I've been eating, and keeping it down. I haven't been obsessing over my weight… until now. The moment he said they'd be checking my weight, I started panicking.

We pulled up to Headquarters before I could think any more about the subject. I stayed sitting in the car, though. My mind too far gone to actually register the fact that we were at Headquarters. I was staring, with literally _nothing_ on my mind. My mind was blank.

I followed Mustang to the office and started working on paperwork.

As I endlessly filled out the paperwork, my mind wandered. I wasn't grasping onto one specific thought. I had too many thoughts running wild in my head. One minuet I'd be thinking about how Ed and Al were, the next I'd be thinking about what I would be eating for dinner, if I was going to eat at all. I just couldn't seem to lock onto one thought. So, I let my mind run wild and basically ignored it, if that's even possible.

I jumped and came back to reality when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. Mustang was trying to get my attention.

"Emma? You okay?" He asked concernedly.

It was a simply question, but the real answer was complicated. No, Roy Mustang, I am not okay. I'm falling back into depression and my eating disorder is coming back tenfold. On top of that my anxiety level has been high and my thoughts have been so jumbled up and confusing it gives me migraines. Oh, did I forget to mention that I have strong feelings for you, but I have no idea what to do or how I should react? Yeah, well there's your answer.

Mustang was giving me an incredibly weird look. It was a mix of confusion, shock, and amusement. "Let me get this straight. You have strong feelings for me and are confused about them?"

I paled. Did I really say that out loud? "D-did I say that… out loud?"

Mustang smirked, "Yes." His smirk fell and was replaced with concern. "What's this about depression and an eating disorder?"

I looked away, ashamed. No one knows my past… At all. Only Nathaniel. I looked into Mustang's charcoal eyes and was shocked by the amount of concern I saw held within their depths. I knew I could trust Mustang, but would he still look at me the same? He already knew about my past with drugs and eating disorders, but he didn't know the depth of how bad it was, and what else was going on.

My eyes started to tear up, "Just hold me?" I asked desperately.

Mustang smiled softly, as if to say everything's okay, and wrapped his warm arms around me. I buried my face in his chest and immediately began crying. I don't exactly know why I was crying. I just felt a huge wave of emotions hit me. The most prominent one was despair. I need someone, anyone to just hold me and make me feel something other than depression and despair.

I cried and cried and cried, staining Mustang's uniform jacket with my tears. Mustang picked me up and carried me to the couch and sat down. I curled up in his lap crying.

How much time passed? Minuets? Hours? I don't know. After a while I started to calm down. Mustang's hand gently rubbing my back and his warm breath gently caressing my neck was soothing me.

Is this really the man who ruthlessly killed people? My people, Ishvalans. Was this really the man who messed with my head? Roy Mustang, all he's done since I've arrived in Central is mess with my head and emotions. I either think I have feelings for him, or I hate him to no end. He caused me to be an emotional wreck.

I gasped slightly as I felt his lips touch my neck in a chaste kiss. I shivered as his hands gently rubbed mindless patterns on my back. I closed my eyes as I felt his arms tighten around my waist.

I rested my head on his shoulder and cherished the gentle moment. Someone was holding me, caring for me, loving me. Sure, Mustang doesn't love me, but the feeling of being in his arms was enough to make me feel loved.

It was lunch break. Like always, Mustang was stuck in the office working on his paperwork. The boys and Riza were down at the cafeteria eating. I was getting ready to go join them, but was stopped by Mustang's velvety voice.

"Can you stay?"

I looked back at him, "Why?"

He shrugged, "I don't want to be alone. It's too boring."

I smiled sweetly. Of course I'd stay with him. It could be my way of thanking him for this morning. "Sure, but can I go get my lunch first?"

Mustang smirked and fumbled around in his desk drawer then pulled out a small bag. "I already have your lunch."

I eyed him suspiciously and cautiously walked over to him. He pulled a container out of the bag and opened it. The smell of sesame chicken and rice made my stomach growl loudly. I blushed as Mustang laughed. I grabbed the container and sat on the couch and started eating. The food was still warm and a nice sauce just added to the deliciousness.

Mustang sat beside me and stole a piece of chicken. "You like it, huh?"

My mouth was full, so I just nodded my head, "Mhm."

"I cooked it. Gracia told me you like chicken, so I made it for you." I looked at him and saw a slight blush on his pale cheeks.

I smiled and pecked his cheek, "Thank you." Mustang was a pretty good cook. The whole time while I was eating, I kept stealing glances at Roy Mustang. Every time I looked at him, I would blush because he would glance at me. Every time I looked at him, my thoughts ran wild, and three words kept repeating in my mind: Just hold me.


	14. Voices

**So sorry it's been like forever, but I've been extremely busy with school and stuff. Now that all my tests are over I finally have freetime. This chapter is short... and there is a bit of... lemon-ish, but it's nothing too graphic. I'm not to that stage of writing yet. Lol. I'm sorr that it's short, but the next chapter will make up for it, I promise! Let me know what you think!**

Weeks went by, and those weeks turned into two months. I was finally settled in. My life in Central wasn't all that great, but it was better then my life before living in Central. My relationship with Mustang has been… odd. We are civil, but there are those moments where we end up kissing and get lost in the heat of the moment, only to pull away before it get's too far. He'll show up at the Hughes's spontaneously and eat dinner with us. He claims he wants to see them, but every time he comes over I end up pressed against a wall or the kitchen counter with his tongue half way down my throat.

I get so confused around him. If I had any friends in this new town- city really- I would go to them, but my only friends are the people in the office. Riza and I have gotten close, but that would just be an awkward conversation, and she'd probably end up pulling her gun on Mustang.

Within the last two months my true colors have been showing. I'm starting to get more comfortable with my surroundings and the people around me. The true Emma Aiman is starting to come out, but I do have my limits.

I stopped my musing and went back to what I was doing. I looked at the sketchbook in my hands and smiled at my work. The dress design was coming along great. I started humming and went back to sketching.

"Emma, dear! Dinner!" I heard Gracia calling my name from downstairs. I put the sketchbook off to the side and walked downstairs.

I was a little surprised to see Mustang sitting at the table laughing with Maes. I sat down beside him since it was the only seat available.

"Sissy! I wanna see more dresses you draw!" Elysia smiled brightly at me.

I smiled back, "Of course, Elysia, but after dinner, okay?"

"Okay!" She went back to shoveling food in her mouth.

I quietly pushed my food around on the plate and ate a little as I listened to Maes and Mustang talk about work and the military. I smiled at how close the two men seemed to be to each other. The only time I've ever really seen Mustang completely relaxed and carefree is when Maes is around, unless he's gushing over Elysia, then Mustang just looks annoyed and pissed.

I jumped as I felt a warm hand on my thigh. My head snapped in Mustang's direction, and he was looking over at Maes smiling and nodding as if unaware of his hand touching my skin. I gasped as his hand started to slowly slide up my leg. I saw the mischievous glint in his eyes. Damn him, he knew exactly was he was doing.

I tried to focus on the plate of food in front of me, but I gripped the fork and knife in my hands tightly as he softly ran his fingertips over the inside of my thigh. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to remain quiet and calm. How dare he do something like this? And in front of people at that!

My mind was _screaming_ at Mustang. I wanted him to stop… but… I also wanted him to continue.

I let out a soft whimper but quickly covered it up with a cough as he pulled my underwear aside.

I was trying to ignore the amazing feelings his fingers were causing me to feel. He's never touched me before like this. We've only ever made out… I kept trying to focus on my food, but how the hell could I focus on food when Central's number one playboy was sitting beside me, looking smug, with his hand up my skirt and fingers doing devilish things to me. I was panting slightly, hunched over the table some, and had a very light sheen of sweat covered my forehead. Maes and Gracia were too busy paying attention to Elysia to notice, which is a good thing. A _very_ good thing.

"Just let go." Mustang's voice was deep and seductive in my ear, and he licked my ear.

I about moaned…

His voice made my mind wander, and I imagined the two of us, tangled together, moving against one another, moaning the other's name is passion…

I was left panting, coming down from a high caused by pleasure. I glanced at Mustang, and he was smirking. Damn him…

He pulled his hand away and I quickly snapped my head away when he slowly brought it to his lips. He disgusts me. He's a disgusting, old pervert!

I shot out of the chair, "I'm going to go to bed now." I quickly took my plate to the kitchen and sat it in the sink. I ran upstairs, and slammed the door close.

How could I have let him touch me like that? How could I have let him make me… I didn't want to think about. The thought of him touching me made my stomach turn… it also sent a shiver of pleasure through my body…

If he could make me feel that good with just his fingers, how amazing would it feel to have his-

"Emma?"

I looked up and glared at the man in the doorway. It was Mustang. His mouth turned up in a smirk, "Did you enjoy dinner?"

I jumped up, "You bastard! How could you do something like that! You-" His mouth came crashing down on mine and all words died as his lips pressed against mine.

The feel of his lips were like two roses. Smooth. I could kiss those lips forever. I could die kissing those lips. Those lips… belonged to a nasty scum bag. And yet, I couldn't stop kissing him.

I gasped as the back of my knees hit the bed, and I fell backwards on it. His kisses trailed from my lips down my jaw and neck. He bit my collarbone and ran his tongue over the spot he bit. I found myself moaning softly and writhing beneath him. My eyes darted to the door. It was closed and locked. Mustang must have done that when he walked in.

My back arched off the bed as he began kissing the top of my breasts. This is the farthest- besides what he did at dinner- we've gone. I wanted him to stop. I wanted him to stop kissing and touching me.

Mustang started to pull my shirt off, and that's when my hand came up and slapped his hands away, "Stop!" I squirmed away from him, panting slightly, and a bit scared. I didn't want him to touch me. I don't want him anywhere near me.

He's looking at me in confusion. I start to shake. It's happening again. The feelings. The memories. The voices.

The voices scream and whisper in my head. The worse are the whispers. They whisper things about how ugly I am. How fat I am. How I'll never be anything. How I'll always be nothing but a slut. How I'm only good when I lie on my back and spread my legs.

"Stop!" I started clawing at my head, my eyes, my ears, trying to get them to shut up.

"Emma!" Warm hands grab my wrists.

I try to pull away. I'm just being dragged in the darkness.

"Emma, look at me!" I can hear Mustang's faint voice through the screams and whispers in my head.

"Leave me alone! Shut up!" I start thrashing, trying to get rid of the taunting voices. They mock me, tease me, belittle me. They won't shut up!

I feel another pair of hands on me. They're rougher, stronger, but I try to pry myself away. I don't want the voices to see me. I don't want them to touch me. I don't want them to talk to me, scream at me, whisper to me. I don't want them near me!

The last thing I remember… is my head hitting something hard… and then darkness. The voices were still screaming. The voices were still whispering. The voices were still there, with me, in the darkness…


	15. They Know

**Sorry it's short, but I just had to put this in, and like now. It's a bit of a cliffy on the details, since it's pretty vague. But don't worry, you'll find things out soon. Things are taking a drastic turn for Emma, and soon for Roy... Let me know what you think!**

My head was pounding. My whole body ached. My ears and eyes burned. I wanted to scream. Screaming wouldn't make the pain go away, but it would at least make me feel somewhat better.

_He's only using you. Just like Nate did. You're not good for anything other than to let men enjoy that anatomy between your legs. They don't even like you. Or think you're beautiful. They just want to fuck you._

"Stop…" I whimpered. I didn't want to hear the voices telling me this. I knew it was true… I just didn't want to hear it.

They were echoing… haunting... mocking…

_Why would Roy Mustang- Colonel, State Alchemist, over all sex Adonis- think you're beautiful? Think you're worthy? Think anything of you besides you're a good fuck._

"Please…" The pounding was getting more painful. I felt cold, awkward feeling hands on my arms. I started to thrash and scream when I felt a sharp pain in my arm. "STOP!"

"Emma! Open your eyes, dammit!"

Mustang?

I struggled against the darkness, the voices, and tried to open my eyes. I was blinded for a second, then my eyes started to adjust to the lighting. It was white. Plain white.

Which was better; being surrounded in black or white?

My eyes flicked around, taking in my surroundings. Obviously, I was in a hospital room. Mustang was standing beside me, Maes was behind him. There was also a man, the doctor? Also a woman, a nurse? How did I get here? What happened?

The man, doctor, started to talk, "She'll have to stay here until we can retrieve her records. Where is she from again?"

"Resembool, at least that's what she told me." Mustang answered.

Oh no… they were going to find out. Find out everything. They couldn't… They can't! If they find out- no! They just can't!

I tried to scramble out of the bed, but Mustang gently held me down. "You need to rest." He whispered.

I shook my head frantically, "No! Let me go! Get off!" I was frantic. I tried to push him away, but the nurse held me down as well. The doctor was coming towards me with a syringe. I screamed and thrashed. I kicked the doctor, and the nurse temporarily let go of me, and I ran.

I was running through the white corridors. I heard footsteps coming towards me, but I kept on running. _They'll know the truth. They'll know everything. _A voice started taunting me. _They'll probably ship you off to jail or something. Or maybe they'll just kill you. _The voice started laughing mockingly.

"Stop it!" I collapsed and started clawing at my ears to get rid of that taunting voice.

I felt arms wrap around me and pull my hands away. The arms held me tightly. They were warm. I felt safe. The voices started to die away. They were gone. I relaxed into the arms. "Thank you…"

"Emma…" The arms picked me up and held me close to a warm chest. I snuggled into the body. I knew who the body belonged to. No one else was this warm. No one else had such a rich, deep, seducing voice. No one else was Roy Mustang…

I looked up at him. He was looking ahead as he walked. I felt tiny… safe… in his arms. Was this the same man who I despised? Who was so arrogant and cocky? Was this the same Roy Mustang?

Of course it was…

He walked back into the hospital room and laid me gently on the bed. I was feeling calm, until I felt the doctor and nurse strap my arms down. "N-no… what are you doing?" I pulled against the restraints and sobbed. "Stop! Let me go!"

Maes stroked my cheek, "Calm down, Emma… They're here to help you." I felt his finger trace over my face. I winced as I felt a burning sensation, his finger touched one of the scratches I must have had around my eyes. "Sorry…" I knew Maes cared about me as if I was his own daughter. That's just the kind of man he is. Looks after others in need…

Another doctor walked in, "What's going on in here?" The new doctor handed the other doctor a file. "Here's her records."

My records? How could that be? Did they find fake ones or-

"We're going to run some tests. We also need a therapist." That voice… It sounded so familiar… Why did it…

Sleepy… I felt so sleepy… I lazily looked down. my vision blurred. I saw a needle in my arm. My first instinct was to start screaming, but I just didn't have the strength. I didn't even have the strength to keep my eyes open. I lazily looked up at the new doctor who's voice seemed familiar… and I swear… I saw red lightning flicker around his face…

"_Raising her is going to be a handful… but she's a prodigy."_

"_You know what they say about great creative minds; there's always something wrong. Whether it be depression, anti-socialism, anything."_

"_Our baby girl will be great, no matter her hindrances."_

_I smiled up at my doctor and mother and father. I knew what they were talking about, but I didn't want to show them just how much it affected me. My father's red eyes looked down at me and my smiled widened. Normally, people from around here would flinch when they saw his eyes, but when I saw them I always smiled. Even when we were arguing or if I was sad. Seeing his loving eyes always made me happy. His hand came towards me and rubbed my forehead, rumpling my bangs. I giggled, just like any seven year old would._

"_She's going to be brilliant, amazing." My mother picked me up and sat me on her lap. Her bright green eyes sparkled down at me. "My daughter! Astarte! Oh, sweetie…"_

"_Now, Isis. Maybe she wants to grow up and be a researcher like her old man." My father smiled. "She sure has the brain for it."_

_My mother just smiled. "Whatever you say, Fray."_

"_Mama?" I touched her cheek, "I know what I want to do. I want to protect you and Da. Can I study Alch-"_

_My mother's face hardened. My father's loving eyes clouded over. The doctor looked confused. "Alchemy would be a great way to prot-"_

"_My people don't believe in alchemy." My father said. "It is a sin."_

"_But Da-"_

"_No, Astarte."_

_But Da!"_

"_Astarte EmmaLynn Laguz!" My mother pinched my arm and I winced. "We are going home now."_

_I had a small bag packed. It had about five outfits in it, my toiletries, and essentials. I had enough money to last me the course of the three years. I was ready to _leave_… but was I ready to break my parents' hearts? Was I ready to betray their trust? Was I ready to _leave_ them? How could a girl of ten years old _leave_ her parents… How could I just up and leave for training and not tell my parents…?_

_I had to though… I had to leave… I had to learn alchemy… I had to learn it to protect them, not matter what they said._

_I grabbed my things… and I left…._

I heard people talking around me. I moaned softly as I rolled over and opened my eyes. I saw two doctors talking to Mustang and Maes.

"Apparently she hasn't been taking her medication. All she needs to do is take it, that about as much help I can give her so far. I'd like it if she saw a therapist at least once a week or once every two weeks. Whatever fits into her schedule." I looked away from the one doctor talking and to Mustang. He had on his I'm-hiding-my-emotions look. Did they know what's wrong with me? Did they know the truth?

I shivered as I heard that haunting voice in my head taunt me and whisper;

_They know…_


	16. Toy or Something More

**Sooo sorry it's been forever. I'm been so busy, but that's no excuse. Sorry it's a short chapter. I'm really trying to get on a roll again with this story. Let me know what you think.**

-Roy-

I watched from the hall as they ran tests on Aiman. She looked scared shitless, and, oddly, I felt the need to go in and be by her side. What the hell?

This was a fifteen year old girl. Why was I feeling this way about her? Whenever I was around her, I wanted to kiss her, pin her against whatever surface there was and take her. I wanted this… this _child_ so badly, and I couldn't explain why. Maybe it was due to the fact that she didn't look like a child. She looked at least eighteen or nineteen years old, besides her height. Even though she was petite, she had very nice breasts, but even better her legs. Her legs were so-

Fuck, I really needed to stop fantasizing about the girl… And I needed to get rid of this damn problem in my pants…

I turned my back, about to walk to the bathroom to get rid of my… problem… but was stopped by the soft voice of none other then the girl who had unknowingly created this… problem.

"Roy…"

I turned back to look at her, and she was looking at me, pleading. I could see it on her face she didn't want me to leave her. I sighed and smiled slightly and walked in the room. I stood out of the way since the doctors were still running tests. Aiman seemed more relaxed and compliant now that I was in the room.

This girl… she was nothing more than my subordinate, and, if she was old enough, a conquest. Seeing as how she's nothing but a fifteen year old, I can do nothing but play with her, and yet… there's a feeling deep, _deep_ down inside that makes me want to make sure she's okay. Maybe it's just because she's so young. Yeah, that's why.

Emma Aiman… The girl with no past. I looked and looked for days when she first came under my command for records on Emma Aiman, but nothing showed up. I needed to know about this girl. She was always so secretive… but if Hughes had taken her in, she must have been a good person. Hughes had a great judge of character, and if he had noticed something off about her, he would not have brought her into his home.

I looked at the little blonde girl. She was staring at the wall as the doctors began to walk out. Her bright green eyes turned to me, and I smiled. I pulled up a chair beside her, "You'll be okay. Since I'm your commanding officer, I have to sign your paperwork."

She nodded, her hospital gown started to slip off her shoulder. It revealed the expanse of her smooth neck and shoulder. I shifted slightly. Dammit…

"Roy…" She slowly reached out for my hand and grabbed it. Her tiny hand seemed to disappear in my hand. "… Thank you."

I was beginning to become soft for this girl. I needed to show her I was still a man, dammit! "I can't have one of my subordinates dying on me." I pulled my hand away.

Aiman's eyes lowered down to the sheet and her whole demeanor fell as well. "Sorry…"

What was wrong with me? This girl is obviously not well, and here I am being an ass to her. I sighed, "No, no. I'm sorry. That was harsh." Me, Roy Mustang, going soft for a mere slip of a girl? Next thing my alchemy will stop working. I just needed to make sure she'd be okay, then find some girl to take out and then take back to my place. Yes, that's all I needed to do.

Aiman looked up at me, her green eyes staring into mine. She bit her lip, causing my eyes to dart down to her lips. Her lips… they were like pink rose petals… What. The. Hell?

"Roy, I-"

I cut her off. I dipped my head down and kissed her. I expected her to push me away, or just sit there, but she did neither of those. She immediately started to kiss back. I smirked and grabbed her waist and deepened the kiss.

I could toy with the girl, as long as no one knew, it would all be fine.

Shivers were sent down my spine as I heard her moan softly. I knelt on the bed, running my hand down to the sheet and slowly pulled it back. Her fingers grabbed my thick hair and tangled themselves in it. I couldn't go too far with this. After all, we're in a hospital.

I laid her down and began kissing down her neck. Last time I kissed her like this, she fought me off… and she ended up here.

I couldn't do this to her. I couldn't. I began to pull away, but her arms tightened around me.

"No… You make it all go away…"

I gently stroked her cheek, "I make what go away?"

She hesitated slightly, "The memories… the emotions…" She looked up at me, "Just kiss me."

I kissed her, slowly. I needed to get more answers out of her, but that could wait. I groaned as I felt her hand on the front of my pants. I bucked slightly, letting the pleasure start to take over. I kissed her a bit more aggressively, but not too much as to scare her off.

I began to take the hospital gown off, and huffed as I pulled away from the kiss to take it off. I let my eyes trail over her. She was wearing a white cotton bra and matching underwear. Fuck…

I kissed down her neck to her chest. I sat her up and went to unhook her bra, but I stopped and looked into her eyes. Her eyes… they were so captivating. Lust swirled around in them, and so was something else… devotion?

… I couldn't do this. She's fifteen! I sighed and pulled away.

She whimpers slightly, "Roy…"

Fuck, her saying my name was so arousing. But I couldn't… I can't-

Tiny hands pushed me on my back and she straddled me. I looked up at her. She looked a bit timid. She started kissing, licking, and biting down my neck and fumbled with my shirt. Once my shirt was opened, she continued her sensual assault on my skin. I moaned softly. For a fifteen year old, she knew what to do to turn me on. She was even better than a lot of women I've been with.

I was so far gone I almost didn't feel her unbutton my pants. My eyes snapped open, but soon rolled back as she licked up my thigh. I moaned, "Fuck… Emma…"

She giggled softly and continued licking and biting up and down my thigh. "You're certainly well built." Her voice had an amusing tone behind it. I smirked at her comment.

Before I could reply, she bit my inner thigh, causing me to groan. Such a talented mouth…

*.*

I was panting hard. Emma looked up at me and seductively licked the corner of her mouth. She definitely had a talented mouth.

She crawled up and kissed me softly, which is something I never liked after a girl just gave me a blowjob, but when she kissed me… I didn't mind. Her small body laid beside me and curled up into my side.

I smiled and wrapped an arm around her. She was asleep within minuets. The poor thing. I pulled the sheet up and then held her.

This girl, Emma Aiman, was causing me to feel things I had never felt before. Was it because I felt sorry for her… or was it something much deeper than that? Whichever the reason, I knew I would not be letting this girl go so easily.

Was this girl a toy to me, or something more?

Perhaps some sleep will help me think about it.


	17. Long Weekened

**Sooo sorry this is so late. It's actually been done for a while, I just thought I posted it, and realised i didn't. I've just been so busy with theatre and all. Ehh. Anywho! Let me know what you think! Also! Next chapter (one after this) will be the big revelation chapter. Yes, Emma's past, the truth about her (most of it) will come up in the next chapter. I'm even going to throw in Roy's past (some I obviously made up). Enough of me rambling, enjoy!**

I can't believe what I just did… Did I really…? But he enjoyed it, clearly. My god… I seriously did give Roy Mustang a blowjob…

I knew I should be disgusted with myself, but I wasn't. I was… happy. This time… I pleasured a guy on my own terms. I did it willingly. He hadn't forced me.

My head was pounding… I was doing too much thinking. I was curled up in Mus- … Roy's arms. They were so warm, strong. I felt so safe, calm. I heard no voices… I didn't feel alone or depressed. Everything sort of vanished… and all that I knew, all that was in my mind, was Roy.

I snuggled into his side as I felt his arm tighten around me. Perhaps I should let my guard down a bit more around him…

*.*

The next morning, Roy had woken me up. He brought me breakfast from a café. It wasn't anything too much, just a cinnamon bagel and a water. Roy also brought me a book to read. He had stayed with me that day, sitting beside the hospital bed.

"I tried to sign the papers to release you, but they said they needed to do a little more testing."

I looked up at Roy from the book. He tried to get the doctors to release? "Thank you…" I whispered softly. Maybe he did care about me… somewhat.

Roy nodded at me, "Once they finish the tests I'll get you out of here. I know you don't like it here."

I shook my head. Why would anyone like it in a hospital? It was so… terrifying. The doctors literally held your life in their hands, they had all control. They acted as if they had so much superiority over everyone, just because of their occupation. I despised hospitals… I despised doctors… I wanted to leave.

I looked up at Roy. His eyes were focusing on some files in his hands. He was chewing on a pen.

I sat up and leaned over towards him. I grabbed the files and set them aside, and slowly pulled the pen from between his lips. What was I doing? My stomach was tight and my heart was racing as I leaned forwards even more, my face only centimeters away from his. I wanted to kiss him… I wanted to.

My lips brushed against his, and almost automatically he pressed his lips harder against mine, running his tongue over my bottom lip and slipping it into my mouth. This was all I wanted. I just wanted to kiss him. When he kissed me… it made me feel alive. It made me feel as if I could banish all the voices from my head. I could be myself…

A moan slipped from my lips as I felt his hand squeeze my thigh. His fingers were so furtive. His other hand made its way into my hair and tugged gently, causing my head to fall back just the slightest bit, allowing him to deepen the kiss even more.

My body felt hot. I wanted more of him. I wanted more of Roy Mustang.

My fingers dipped down to his military issued pants, and I wiggled my hands under the waistband. Just as I had done that, Roy pulled away, latching his lips onto my neck, and pushing me onto my back.

"Roy…" All logic left my mind. The fact that he was much older than me hadn't even registered in my mind. The fact that we were in a hospital where anyone could walk in and see us hadn't even registered in my mind. The only thing I could think about was Roy. Roy Mustang…

"Emma…" Roy rasped out my name as I felt his hips pressing against my leg.

I smiled softly and cupped his cheek, "I want you, Roy." I kissed his cheek, "It's okay."

As soon as the words left my lips, he hiked up my hospital gown and tore down my underwear. I sat up and started ridding him of his pants.

A loud knock on the door caused us both to freeze up suddenly. Oh, shit…

Roy quickly tugged his pants up, nearly falling out of the bed in the process, and rushed to the door. He unlocked it- wait… when did he lock it?

I pulled the covers up to my neck and closed my eyes, feigning sleep. "How is she feeling?" It was Maes.

"Oh, just fine." I could practically hear the smirk in Roy's voice. "I know her sleep is pleasurable."

I wanted to smack the damn man.

"That's good." I heard the scooting of a chair across the floor, "The doctors said they're done running their tests. They were just about to tell me some things about Emma, but then Bradley came through and told the doctors to basically keep their mouths shut. Something is going on, and I have a feeling Emma is _not_ involved."

"Of course not. Anything to keep a precious dog of his." I heard the bitterness in Roy's voice. "She's too young to be in the military, same with Fullmetal. However… that was my fault."

What was going on? The Fuhrer had ordered the doctors not to tell Maes anything about my medical issues? Could he even do that? Did the doctors know the truth? Did the Fuhrer know the truth?

_You__'re going to be found out sweetie._

_Yeah, the reason why you're here, what's wrong with you, everything is coming to light._

Leave me alone… I don't want to listen to you…

_You should know by now you can__'t get rid of us. We are a part of you. We control you. We are you._

My eyes snapped open, and I was hoping the voices would go away. I looked at Roy, his handsome face, and the voices started to fade…

"Good morning there, sleepy head!"

I smiled at Maes, "Hello, Maes." I jumped slightly feeling a hand creep up my thigh underneath the sheet, and instantly I knew it was Roy's. I glared at him. If Maes saw…

I sat up, moving my thigh away from Roy's hand and yawned. "When can I leave?"

"Now." Maes smiled. They just need your parent or guardian to sign the papers, and since… well… you know… They're fine with Roy signing the papers since he is your commanding officer."

"If you don't mind, Hughes, I'm going to take her to my place for the weekend. You'll have a full house with Gracia's parents coming in, and right now Emma just needs rest." I suppressed a smile hearing the genuine concern in Roy's voice.

Wait, what? I'm staying with Roy this weekend? Don't I have a say in this? Not that I minded, but… anything could happen… and that caused me get a little nervous and scared and excited-

"Alright. You should stop by to get her some clothes and toiletries." And Maes was perfectly fine with this?

This was going to be a long weekend… I could just see it coming…

*.*

Roy's place was a nice medium sized, three bedroom, one story house. Well, there was an attic, but when we got to Roy's house, he literally forbade to go up there. He showed me around. The living room was clustered with books and files and paperwork he must have taken home from the office. His living room and kitchen were connected, only divided by a bar counter. His kitchen was rather… disgusting. There were empty takeout boxes all over the place. The trash was over flowing. The only 'nice' thing about the kitchen was Roy's crystal collection of whiskey and obvious other liquors.

The bathroom in the hall was ordinary. Plain black and white color scheme. Roy showed me his office (which use to be a bedroom but he converted it to a study), and there were many books all over the place. It just looked like a mess. He took me to guest room, the room I'd be staying in.

When we walked in, I smiled softly. There a giant bed with a dark blue comforter. A tan armchair sat in the corner beside a light brown dresser. There was a dead plant on top of the dresser, causing me to roll my eyes.

I dropped the suitcase Maes gave me on the ground and fell onto the bed. It was so soft… I could just stay in that bed forever.

"What would you like for dinner?" Roy knelt beside my suitcase and started unpacking it.

"Whatever you're cooking is fine. I can do that. You don't-"

"Let me?"

Roy pretty much had everything pulled out, so I was about to let him continue, but I soon realized I had my lingerie in there as well. "N-no. I can-"

Roy pulled out one of my articles of lingerie and was holding it up in the air with his finger eyeing it.

I flushed and grabbed the lacey thong away from him. "P-please let me finish-"

He was chuckling at my reaction, "Oh, fine. I'll go start dinner." Roy winked at me before leaving, and I couldn't help myself but stare at his butt as he walked out.

He really did have a nice ass for a guy, and the pants he wore seemed to outline it perfectly- what the hell am I thinking?

I huffed and started to put my clothes in the drawers of the dresser.

As I was mentally cursing Roy for being so damn irresistible, I suddenly froze, realizing something. Ever since we left the hospital… I hadn't heard the voices in my head. It was as if Roy Mustang himself was a sort of medication, a distraction from the haunting, tormenting voices that echoed non-stop in my head. Well… not really non-stop now, since they are not screaming at me.

I walked out of the bedroom I would be staying in and into the living-kitchen room. Roy was currently grabbing spices out of the cabinet, and I giggled as I saw him wearing an apron around his waist. He turned to me and nodded his head for me to go over to him, "Come here, will you?"

"Of course, Mr. Chef." I joked and walked over to him. "What is it?"

"Since you'll be staying here you'll need to pull your own weight. Get that skillet over there." I did as he told me to, and he started putting some of the spices in it. "Can you cook?"

I blushed, "No… I have no clue how to…"

Roy smirked, "Well then I'll teach you." He added some kind of oil, and as he prepared the skillet he was explaining the process to me, but it was only going in one ear and out the other.

I did notice, however, Roy was getting closer to me. Whether he knew it or not, he was definitely moving closer and closer to me. I didn't mind. It was… nice. He seemed to be much more relaxed in the environment of his home.

"Ah, damn." Roy started to untie his apron, "I need to go to the store and get something really quick. I'll be back as quickly as I can be." He grabbed his keys, "Don't touch the food. Got it?"

"Yes sir." I said, plopping down on the couch. I watched as he left, and soon the feeling of loneliness sank in. _He said he'd be back as quickly as he can be, _I reminded myself. Well, I had to find something to do…

I started cleaning.

I began in the kitchen, throwing out food that had expired, take out food that looked like it started to grow mold, empty take out containers, everything that was trash. Then I moved to the living room, organizing the files and papers by date and by whether or not Roy had signed them. Then, I stacked all the books neatly against the wall. In the bathroom I quickly scrubbed the yellowing shower and rinsed out the toilet and sink. His office took me a little time as I organized books back onto the bookshelf (in alphabetical order), and neatly stacked all the files and paperwork on his desk. Roy's bedroom was next. I stripped and made his bed, picked up all his dirty clothes, and put his clean clothes away. I even organized his closet by color scheme. His bathroom wasn't too bad. I just had to clean some hair out of sink and rinse out the shower. When I got to the room I was staying in, all I did was throw out the dead flowers.

Satisfied with my work, I plopped back down on the couch and began to reach for a book on the coffee table, but stopped. Roy wouldn't know if I went up into his attic, now would he? I got up, and snuck to the door that led to the attic. I was sneaking around as if Roy were home and could catch me any minute. I turned the doorknob, and began to creep up the stairs.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I turned around, gasping, having heard Roy's deep voice snap at me.

He was standing at the bottom of the attic stairs holding a grocery bag, glaring up at me. I was halfway up the stairs…

Hanging my head, I walked back down the stairs, only to have Roy shove me against the wall.

"I told you the attic was off limits, did I not?"

"Y-yes… you did…"

"Then why did you obviously disobey me?"

I was frightened. I knew Roy wouldn't hurt me, but the way he was speaking terrified me… and it only caused memories of Nathaniel to start resurfacing in my mind.

"Roy-"

He cut me off as his lips came crashing down on mine. It was as if we both had forgotten I was 'in trouble' as out lips started dancing against one another.

I moaned as Roy's hands grabbed my butt underneath my skirt, pulling me up and pinning my body between the wall and his body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and gasped as his lips left mine and attached to my neck. His hands squeezed by butt as he bit my neck.

"Roy…" I breathed out. How could he do this to me? Manipulate my body so? How did he- "Oh Roy." I moaned as he moved his hips against mine, causing heat to spread throughout my entire body.

Roy had slight smirk on his face. He carried me to his room, and dropped me on the bed.

As if getting slapped in the face with reality, I sat up quickly, pushing him away from me. "No!"

Roy's face was flushed and he was panting slightly, "What do you mean 'no?' You-"

"No… I don't want to… I…" I blushed and looked down. My face turned even darker as my eyes looked at the front of Roy's pants. There was a… bulge of… well… there was a bulge…

Roy sighed, "Sorry, I got carried away an-"

I cut him off by pushing him onto his back. "Remember what I did to you back in the hospital room?" I asked timidly.

Roy smirked, "How can I forget?"

I blushed, "I-I can do it again…"

Roy's eyes seemed to have gotten darker. He pulled my head down and kissed me deeply. He mumbled against my lips, "Do whatever you want, but it you don't want to, that's perfectly okay."

"I want to, Roy."

Something told me, as I pulled Roy's pants off, that this was going to be a long weekend…


	18. No Regrets

**I went back and did a little re-reading, and realised that after Emma's sixteenth birthday, I kept typing in fifteen. Oops! Yes, Emma is sixteen. No, that doesn't make her and Roy being together any more legal. :P Sorry this is so late. I'm really trying to get my ass into gear and work on things quicker. ANYWHO! I KNOW you're going to love this chapter. ;) Enjoy! Let me know what you think.**

Roy and I were sitting at the bar eating. He really was a rather good cook. I glanced over at him, and he was acting very casual and talking very… casual. As if… as if we hadn't just been in his bedroom moments ago… and I hadn't… well…

"So, what possessed you to clean my house?" He asked.

I blushed, "It was filthy and a wreck! It's obvious you never have a girl over."

"Oh, no. I do. It's just-" He suddenly stopped talking and shoved his mouth full with a fork full of food.

I rolled my eyes, "I know what kind of company you keep, Mustang."

He swallowed and looked at me, "Using my last name again, huh?"

I scoffed and jumped off the barstool and took my plate to the sink, rinsing the sauce off and laying it in the sink. "You can clean it. I'm going to go take a shower."

"I may join you." Roy winked at me, and I blushed.

_Please do_, I thought, but I would slap myself if I ever said that out loud. I made my way to the small bedroom I would be staying in and grabbed my pajamas for the night, and made my way to the bathroom in the hall. I took a risk and glanced into the kitchen, seeing Roy cleaning the dishes. Even through his white button up shirt, I could see his lightly but well toned back muscles move as he moved. I blushed and quickly went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

My mind was screaming at me. I had just eaten… and it wasn't too late to get rid of the food in my stomach. I glanced at the toilet then at the shower. I remembered my days back with my alchemy teacher, and how I would turn the shower on to hide the noises I made when I vomited. I turned the knobs to the shower, then knelt in front of the toilet…

As I showered, my thoughts traveled to Roy Mustang. I couldn't help but feel… content in his home. For the longest time, I had just gone from here to there, never really settling down after the murder of my parents. I had been so focused on Nathaniel, and finding my parent's murderer, but now, being in Central, being a State Alchemist, being able to claim the Hughes' house as my home- even if it is temporary- everything just made me feel content. However, now… being in the home of Roy Mustang, eating with him, staying with him for a short while, I felt a thrill from it, and also fear. Just being near this mysterious, assertive man caused my mind to cloud, my heart to race, my whole being cease and want to only follow him. With all those things comes the fear, the fear of knowing what this man can do to me, with just a single look. Knowing what he can do to me by touching me, kissing me. I come undone at the hands of this man, and it terrifies me. Not because of our age difference, but because of who I am. If he knew… if he knew who I truly am, what my ambitions are, if he knew anything at all besides what he already knows, he'd hate me, report me, have me either thrown in prison or killed.

I gently dried my skin with the fluffy towel. The shower at least relaxed my muscles, not so much my mind. Maybe a nice night's sleep will relax my mind.

I wiped the mirror and looked at my reflection. It was obvious, seeing myself with no clothes on, that I've lost weight. My hip bones were noticeable as my pale skin clung to my body in an almost unhealthy way. My ribs were almost perfectly outlined. My collarbone looked much more prominent than it should. I knew what I was doing to my body wasn't healthy, but it helped…

I wrapped the towel around my waist, and glanced back at my reflection. I looked at my mismatched eyes. My right eye red, my left eye green. Everyone close to my family would say if they looked into my red eye they could see my father, and if they looked into my green eye they could see my mother. When I look at my eyes, I see a girl who is viewed as a threat, as an enemy to those around.

The door opened and Roy's voice filled the bathroom, "Emma, you okay? I knocked fo-…" He trailed off as I whipped around and then realized I didn't have my contact in to hide my red eye.

Roy was staring into my eyes. His gaze flicking from one to the other, then his face became hard, his eyes took on a dark swirl to them.

"R-Roy-"

"You're Ishvalan." He took a step closer to me, and I stepped back, my back pressing into the sink counter. "You must only be a half-breed since you have one red eye." How dare he talk about me as if I was an animal, using the term 'half-breed.' His fingers gripped my wet, tangled hair, then they slowly threaded through my blonde locks, working out the tangles. "You do have an uncommon shade of blonde hair. But your skin… you're so pale." His fingers glided across my cheek. His thumb was so close to my right eye…

_He can oh so easily take that thumb of his and gauge your pretty little eye out. He won__'t even give it another thought. You're a savage, a heathen in his eyes. He obliterated you're people. He's the Hero of Ishval. He won't think twice about killing you._

"Shut up…" I mumbled softly. I yanked my head away from Roy, knowing that voice was right. He would try and kill me. "Don't touch me-"

"Emma, I-"

I started going into hysterics, only seeing Roy as the murderous monster he was in Ishval as he killed my people. "You're going to try and kill me. Don't think I'm st-"

"Emma!" He grabbed my upper arms tightly, almost in a bruising grip, and moved one of his hands up top my face and gripped my chin just as roughly, "Will you shut up? Why the hell would you think I'm going to kill you?"

_He has you in his trap, he can easy use his hand to choke the life from you. You__'re dancing on a thin rope, Em, and you need to be careful you don't fall._

My arms flailed, my legs kicked, my body thrashed. I tried to get away from him, from the man who set my very being on fire, the man whom I was falling for-

_Falling for him? Don__'t kid yourself. You've already fallen for him, just like all the other girls he takes to bed. He'll only dispose of you once he tires of you. But hey, since now he knows one of your little secrets, he may dispose of you sooner._

My body continued to fight against him, but he just held me tightly. I was starting to not fight as hard, my body tiring. That's when I felt Roy relax and pull me gently to his body, embracing me.

The tears fell from my eyes before I could even register they were there. A sob escaped my lips and was muffled by his chest. Maybe he wasn't trying to hurt me… but I was still so scared. But what was I scared of? Was I scared of Roy… or him finding out I'm Ishvalan?

"Dammit, Emma…" He held me closer, resting his cheek on the top of my head, "How is it you, a young, sixteen year old girl, has done this to me? I care too much about you then I really should. I care so much."

He cared…? He cared so much? I looked up at him, gazing into those charcoal grey eyes of his, wanting to lose myself in those beautiful depths. "I care too, Roy. I care so much about you… and it frightens me…" I buried my face back into his chest, letting my tears freely fall and soak his shirt.

"Emma…" His hand stroked my still wet and tangled hair. I felt myself being lifted up into his arms, and I curled up into his warm chest as he carried me out of the bathroom. I breathed in the musky and spicy scent that clung to his clothes. It was smell I could and wanted to get use to. He gently lowered me onto a bed, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that we were in his room. "Emma, talk to me." He walked over to his dresser and came back with a t-shirt. "I know something is going on inside that head of yours, and I want you to be able to feel like and know you can confide in me, for anything."

Shyly I slipped the t-shirt on overtop of the towel and let the towel fall off my body as I knelt up on the bed. I glanced into his eyes, and they were so consumed with worry. Worry all for me. I sighed and scooted closer to him, "I'll just start from the beginning, even though you've heard a little of this. I'll tell you everything, the truth. My father was Ishvalan. He was a researcher and one of the things he was researching was the Philosopher's Stone. Of course he kept all of his research under lock and key, but somehow someone found out… That night, when my parents were murdered, whoever it was that killed them was looking for my father's research… and the Stone." I saw Roy's eyes widen, "Yes, my father was in possession of a Stone. I _know_ that's why he and my mother were killed." I sighed and grabbed his hand and began tracing random patterns along his skin, "My parents basically sheltered me as I grew up. They didn't want me to have to deal with a world where everyone looked down on me because I was of Ishvalan heritage. My mother was born and raised in Central, but once my grandparents died, leaving her loads of money- my mother's side of the family is a long, wealthy line- she moved to Resembool, where she met my father and had me and stayed there. Most of the people in Resembool knew about my father being Ishvalan, so they welcomed me with open arms, but my parents still hid me from the world basically. I had ballet lessons, singing lessons, along with my schooling. Life was… pretty good.

"Then, after their murder… I had to get away. I knew I wanted to come to Central, but I just had to figure out how. I was a thirteen year old girl with my inheritance, and little knowledge of the outside world. That's when I met Nathaniel. He was my dark knight, so to say. He showed me a world I had never even known about. Drugs, sex, stripping, everything terrible and everything a thirteen year old girl should not know about, let alone do. That's when my depression kicked in, and my eating disorder got even worse, along with the drug addictions. I was a mess. I didn't want to leave Nate, because I was scared to. He hit me, constantly, and would always hurt me. It was that way for two years…

"Finally, I left him, on my fifteenth birthday, and I began heading here, to Central. I had two motives. One was to somehow find the murderer of my parents. The other… well… my intentions were to join the military as a State Alchemist, and once I did that… I was going to kill each and every person who had fought in the Ishvalan War. I had so much hatred and animosity built up inside of me for what the military had done to my family, my people, that I wanted to do the same to them." I looked up into Roy's face, the whole time he had been so quiet as he listened to me, not showing any emotion on his face. "But then I met you… You threw me off my game. Made me question everything I knew. From the moment I saw you, at my State Alchemist test, I began falling for you. I forced myself to think I hated you, that you were a bad person, but in reality, I just wanted to be near you, and be… important to you and in your life."

"You are important in my life, and I don't understand it at all." Roy kissed my forehead softly. "At first I tried to convince myself it was some deep, deep, _deep_ paternal type of care and worry I had for you, but it's so much more than that."

My eyes watered and my chest felt tight, "Roy…" I tilted my head up and kissed him softly.

I knew what I felt for Roy was strong, and I was done with lying to myself. I didn't hate Roy, I never did. I was just trying to fight off these feelings, and the fear that these feelings created. I knew I could put my faith and trust in Roy. I could give him everything I had, even if he was old enough to be my father, and he had a rather questionable reputation with the ladies.

I squeezed his hand, "Ever since I was younger, I had heard these… voices in my head. I told my parents about it, and they took me to the doctors. … We found out, when I was nine, that I have schizophrenia. I suffer from hearing voices in my head… Normally they tell me how ugly and unworthy and everything negative I am." My eyes met his, and his eyes were soft as he looked down at me.

"You're none of those things, Emma. You're so beautiful." He kissed my lips softly, "Do you take medication for it?"

I nodded, "Yes… It helps, but I still hear the voices. Mainly when I get… emotionally stressed. Like earlier, in the bathroom… the voices kept telling me how you were going to kill me because I'm Ishvalan."

"Emma, I would never do anything intentionally to harm you. I care too much about you to cause you harm of any kind." Roy pressed his lip against mine, and we both were lost in the moment.

I pulled away, giving him a soft kiss on his neck before smiling up at him, "I spent so long talking about myself, tell me about you."

Roy sighed, "Well, I never knew my parents. I grew up with my aunt, and whenever I asked her, when I was younger, about my parents, she would tell me they weren't around. So, I didn't ask anymore. Now that I'm an adult I know what 'not around' means. I began my alchemy training with Berthold Hawkeye, Riza's father. After I learned all I could about alchemy from him, I left to join the military. I attended the Academy. However, I still wanted to learn all he knew. I learned my Flame Alchemy from him… even though it wasn't really directly from him." I gave him a questionable gaze. "After I joined the military, I went back to the Hawkeye household, and that day Berthold passed, but he said Riza was in possession of his Flame Alchemy notes. … He had tattooed his research and notes onto her back. I spent time, decoding the tattoo on her back, and finally learned Flame Alchemy.

"My time in the war… well…" Roy sighed and pulled me closer to him, "There were those of us who hated what we were doing, killing innocent people, ruining a whole homeland, and there were those who took a sick thrill in it all, then there were those who were almost like mindless zombies, just doing whatever the higher-ups told them to. I killed so many Ishvalans… Men, women, children. I hated myself so much during the war, and even after. I made a vow, once we had 'won' that I would become Fuhrer, and I would right all the wrongs that this military government has created in the past years."

I snuggled closer into his body, rubbing my nose along his collarbone, breathing in his scent. His musky, cinnamony smell made my heart beat faster, my heart soar. I loved Roy's smell almost as much as I loved hi-… Wait, what?

"So, you want to be Fuhrer, and I want- well wanted- to get revenge on those who fought in the war." I looked up at him deviously, "Perhaps now is the time I get revenge on you."

He looked down at me, knowing I was just being playfully with him, "Really now?"

"Yes." I shoved him down onto his back and straddled him. I kissed him, lovingly at first, but then the kiss grew deeper. I was moaning softly in his mouth and Roy was trailing his hand up the backs of my thighs. I gasped and bit his bottom lip, tugging it into my mouth as his hands slid up over my butt, which was completely bare, and squeezed. "Roy…"

Whenever I was near Roy, I just felt so happy. The voices faded away. My depression was no where to be found. My eating disorder rarely ever showed itself. Roy was someone who was changing me, for the better, and I needed him. He was like a drug, like the drugs I was once so addicted to, and now I'm addicted to him. I'm addicted to the euphoric feelings he created in me. I'm addicted to the way he made me feel so uneasy and scared, yet so happy and comfortable. I'm addicted to that cocky, sexy smirk of his. I'm addicted to Roy Mustang.

Roy's groan was muffled as his lips attacked my neck when he pulled my hips down against his. This was so wrong, me being sixteen and Roy being nearly thirty, but I didn't care, and I knew Roy didn't care either. I just had to be with him, near him.

I was on my back in a matter of seconds, and Roy's lips were attacking mine once more. I reached down, and started fumbling with that damn belt of his. I tugged his pants down with my feet, and giggled when he kicked them off to the floor. His lips were on my neck, nipping and sucking, marking me as _his_. _Roy's_. I tugged at his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against my hands, and once it was over his head I started giving him the same treatment he had given to my neck. My lips moved over his neck, his collarbone, his chest.

"Emma, just how far are we taking this?" Roy was panting slightly, and his eyes were dark with lust.

I grabbed his hand in my small one, and wrapped his fingers around the bottom of the shirt, pulling it up slightly, trying to send him the message. Once he pulled the shirt off me, I would be completely exposed to Roy. I had never been fully naked in front of him, and to be quite honest my hands were trembling a little. I wanted this. I wanted to give myself, my all, to Roy.

He slowly pulled the shirt off me, kissing up my thighs, over my stomach, up my chest, and claiming my lips once more. He pulled back, gazing down at me. I blushed and tried to hide myself. "You're perfect. Beautiful." He kissed passionately.

The night was full of passion for us. We succumbed to ourselves and each other, done fighting back the emotions we had for one another. The moon's light shone down on us from the window in Roy's room as we were tangled together, connected, moaning and groaning and whispering out pleasure and each other's names. There were no sounds but the pleasured noises we made, and the occasional creaking of the bed. The air around us was thick with… love? Whether it was love or something close, it was not purely lust. Lust is was drove people to have a quick fling. What Roy and I were doing, was anything but a quick fling. He was so gentle, yet rough and passionate.

Yes, I was falling for Roy Mustang, and I could care less. I wanted him all to myself, to give him my all, to love him and be loved by him. In this night, it was confirmed that I was Roy's, and Roy was mine. Despite our age difference, despite him being my commanding officer, we belonged to each other. In this night, we succumbed to our feelings for each other, and in the morning, we would wake with no regrets.


	19. Home

**So, this is incredibly short compared to other chapters. Please don't be mad. This is very crucial (at least the content, no the length), and I decided to go for a more stream of conscious format. The next chapter is sad, action-y, and a bunch of other stuff. Let me know what you think!**

I lay in Roy's arms, both of us struggling to get our breathing under control. My eyelids are so heavy. What time is it? Eleven? Midnight? No, it's four in the morning. I weakly, tiredly grab Roy's hand, lacing my fingers in between his, and nuzzle into his chest. Roy pulls me closer, tighter to his body, despite both of us being hot and sweaty he holds me so tightly and lovingly.

Tears sting my eyes. I press my forehead against his chest, feeling the rhythmic beating of his heart pound against my forehead. This man brings me tears just by the loving embrace he holds me in. He stirs such strong emotions in me. I know, after we had finally made love, joined together as one, untied, had sex, whatever the term is, I just know I could never bring myself to leave his side, no matter what. I have to be with Roy Mustang for the rest of my life.

Why? Well, there were many reasons why.

The way he trails soft, open mouth kisses along my neck in a loving manner, not wanting to stir any intimate desires as he holds me lovingly.

The way he holds me so tightly, as if fearing I will be pulled away from him by a third party at any moment.

The way he kisses my lips so softly as he tries to get me to fall asleep.

The way he caresses my back as he speaks sweet nothings into my ear.

The way our bodies fit so perfectly together as if we were made to be with each other from the start.

The way I feel so happy and comfortable when I am near him, and all my worries are banished from my mind.

The way I love him.

Yes.

Love him.

I love Roy… I love him so much… I can't be falling for him because I've already fallen, and I've fallen hard. Only he can catch me. No, he _caught_ me. Whether or not he _loves_ me, he cares, and he _shows_ that he cares. The look in his eyes, the way he kisses me, the way he holds me. It won't take long for him to love me, and if he already does, it won't take long for him to tell me.

Yes, I love Roy Mustang, and I have every intention on staying with him no matter what. Through whatever comes our way, I'll support him, and he'll support me.

But… the main reason why I love Roy?

Well…

Roy makes me feel like I am home.

Roy _is_ my home.


	20. Charcoal Eyes

**This is a rather long chapter. I was going to split it into two, but decided against it. I really would like to thank those who review and those who read this. I know I don't take the time to respond to each message/review, mainly because I just don't have the time, but it really does mean a lot when I get emails saying someone has reviewed or favourited or other such things. Thank you guys so much! You make me feel loved! 3 Enjoy!**

The sun shone in through the curtain, giving the room a soft glow. It gently touched Roy's bare back, causing a nice, healthy shine to emit from his pale skin. I brought my lips down on his shoulder, making my way to his neck before whispering into his ear, "Good morning…"

I had been awake for some time, but Roy was sleeping the morning away. Good thing it was a Saturday. His arm tightened around my waist, and I giggled as my body was pulled closer to his. I didn't mind. He was so comfortable, soft, and warm.

I kissed his lightly stubbly chin, "I'm hungry, Roy."

A muffled grumble was his reply.

"Roy…"

"Eat later, sleep now." He nuzzled his nose into my hair, taking in a deep breath.

I couldn't help but smile. Roy was absolutely adorable when he was tired. Before we had fallen asleep, he was rambling on and on about… about… well something. I was trying to sleep myself, but his tired, almost drunk sounding voice kept me up as he kept repeating himself, distracting himself, and talking endlessly. And now he was trying to go back to sleep, holding me tighter each time I moved, mumbling into his pillow.

Oh Roy…

I pressed my lips into his chest, "Roy, please?" I trailed my lips up to his neck, and lightly sucked on his pulse. I giggled hearing his groan, feeling his chest vibrate.

A smirk appeared on my lips as a brilliant, sly plan formed in my head. I lightly pushed Roy onto his back, and proceeded to straddle his hips. "I'm _so_ _hungry_, Roy." I bent down, taking his earlobe in between my teeth before whispering, "Feed me…" I gently but firmly pressed my hips down onto his.

Roy's eyes fluttered open, and his charcoal eyes gazed up into mine, a hazy cloud of lust and sleep swirled in them. He gripped my hips, and I realized he was trying to still my hips, but I would not let that happen.

My lips descended down onto his, and my hands slid down his chest, my fingers sensually tracing invisible patterns onto his skin. A soft moan slipped from my lips and I lowered my lips to Roy's, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth, "I'm _starving_…"

Something within Roy must have snapped. He growled and kissed me roughly. I playfully fought him for dominance, but when it came to Roy, he always came out on top, and I didn't mind that much.

However, it was me who was on top this time, and it was… different. Definitely pleasurable, but it was different. Even though Roy _allowed_ me to be on top, he was still the dominate one. He controlled everything. Much like his current situation as a Colonel. Even though he was a Colonel, was steadily pulling the strings of those higher up. He misled them, lied to them, played them, all for his own personal gain, and I could do nothing but support him. I wanted to do nothing but support him.

*.*

My eyes, right eye bare of the contact, watched Roy as he was cooking us breakfast. I let my eyes wander down his bare back, and a blush heated my cheeks as I saw the thin marks my nails had left on his back and shoulders. _At least I left my mark on him_, I thought to myself with a smirk.

I didn't even notice my finger was gently caressing one of many hickeys on my neck until Roy turned to me and smirked. My blush deepened before I rolled my eyes. "Just give me my food. I really am starving now."

"So I don't feed your appetite? Hm, what a pity." Roy placed his hand over his chest, feigning emotional pain.

I snorted, "You're such a terrible actor."

"And you're a good actress?"

"Actually, it's a wonder you bring this up." I smiled brightly. "Acting is a great passion in my life. I grew up acting. When my parents would let me out of the house it was mainly only for acting lessons and acting in our local theatre in Resembool. I was actually thinking about checking out some of the theatres here in Central. I-… What?" I saw the look of disbelief of his face.

Roy shook his head before putting our food on plates, "I thought you were kidding then I realized you weren't." My plate was placed in front of me and he sat beside me. "Go for it, sweetheart, and when you get all the leads, I'll be there front row giving you a standing ovation."

That little beating thing that pumped blood throughout my body- yeah, my heart- started beating quickly from hearing that cute little nickname fall from his lips, and I got dizzy from the sudden onslaught of blood to my head. I looked up in his eyes, blushing, "R-Really?"

"Of course, Emma. Why wouldn't I?" His lips pressed against mine, and left too soon for my liking.

We ate in silence for the most part, just enjoying each others company, and there was nothing wrong with that. Silence was golden, right? Well, white gold, because I really don't like gold that much.

I was washing my plate off, and I felt a small pinch on my bottom. I jumped, squeaking, and the plate in my hand fell to the floor and shattered. "Roy! I'm so sorry! I-"

Roy was laughing, "It's alright, Emma." He kissed me, whether to shut me up, to calm me, or just to kiss me I didn't know, but he kissed me. He knelt down, and began picking the pieces up.

I couldn't just stand there and not help, so I began helping him pick up the pieces. We got pretty much all of the pieces picked up. I made my way over to the trash bin, and that was when I felt it.

A sharp stab in my toe. I looked down and the blood was already pooling out of my toe and onto his kitchen floor. "U-um… R-Roy…"

"Shit, Emma!" Roy threw the shards of glass in his hands in the trash bin and grabbed the ones out of my hand and threw them away as well. He picked me up, wrapping my toe with a paper towel, and carried me over to the couch. He pulled the barley visible shard of glass out of my toe and went to get disinfectant and a band-aid out of the bathroom. He patched up my toe then smiled up at me, "There, all fixed."

"Oh, thank you Dr. Mustang. I have no idea what I'd do without you." I smiled sweetly down at him and soon began giggling as he grabbed my foot and trailed soft kisses along the bottom of my foot.

"You have such soft skin, sweetheart." He kisses my bandaged toe, then his finger began to glide over my heels and feet.

I squirmed.

I was so incredibly ticklish on my feet, and I was biting my lip to try and keep my fits of laughter in my mouth, but it wasn't working. Roy's fascination with my feet had him trailing his lips and fingers over my feet, and a soft giggle left my lips.

Roy's eyes flicked up and met mine, a mischievous, playful glint in them.

Oh, no. I knew that look…

His finger began to move a bit quicker, and his lips began to trails patterns that made no sense.

My toes curled, and my lips parted as I began giggling. He increased his movements, and my body began twisting, and my giggles turned into loud laughs. I was laughing so hard my stomach began to ache. Tears wet my cheeks.

Roy was having a grand old time torturing me by tickling me. His smile was wide, and his eyes were bright with amusement. I was just happy to see him… happy.

My chest began to feel tight, and my vision started to blur. I knew this feeling. I was beginning to have a hard time breathing.

My lips opened, trying suck in air, only to make weak gasping noises, almost a wheezing noise. I rasped out, "Roy… Roy, stop… Can't breathe…"

He must have noticed my struggle breathing, my raspy voice, for he stopped immediately, and the humor and glow in his eyes was replaced by worry and distress. He gently cupped my cheek, "Emma? Emma, what's wrong?"

I shook my head, trying to get the point across to him that I just needed to catch my breath. I leaned my head back on the back of the couch, and soon my breathing was calmed, and I opened my eyes to look at him. "Sorry… I get like that sometimes."

Roy's thumb caressed my cheek, "Are you okay? Do you have respiratory problems?"

I felt myself closing off to him, not wanting to talk to him about it. I looked down, not wanting to be too vulnerable to him… this man I loved.

I didn't want to let him know this secret of mine. I felt as though… if he knew… once he knew he would turn his back on me. It's something that I'm not really proud of, since I was so young at the time and I didn't know any better. I was weak and scared and alone… and I just wanted them back…

"Emma…" Roy's other hand cupped my cheek, and his charcoal eyes gazed into mine. I could see the amount of worry that was trapped in those dark depths. The amount of worry and affection… tenderness… "Please, Emma."

Turning my gaze away from his, I let out a shaky breath, "After the death of my parents… I… I attempted to bring them back through human transmutation. I lost one of my lungs in the process. Kind of ironic, huh? A singer, an actress, a _performer_ loses something so vital to her. I guess that's how that Truth character works. He… It takes something that is very vital to you and your future… so that you have to grow and learn how to live without it. But, yeah… I lost a lung… but gained so much more. I really don't think it was worth it, but my mother always told me everything happens for a reason." My eyes met his, and I was shocked to see the softness they held.

"Emma… Oh, Emma." He pulled me into his arms, and held me so tightly.

I felt so safe and loved in his arms. They were so warm, so comforting. I pressed my face into neck, breathing in his scent. His attractive yet dangerous cinnamon scent. Roy was everything I had ever dreamt of in a man, granted I'm still 'young,' but still. Every girl has that perfect man planned out at any early age, and Roy was everything I had dreamt of. Handsome, passionate, ambitious, intelligent, sophisticated, charming, charismatic, dominate, and even his 'bad' qualities such as his cockiness, conceited attitude, manipulative, and arrogant side. All his qualities are equally appealing to me, because they all create the man who is Roy Mustang.

I didn't even notice I was crying until Roy gently pulled my chin up, and his thumb gently wiped my tears away. I sniffed and looked at his neck, seeing my tears there on his bare skin. I wiped them, mumbling a soft apology.

Why was I crying? I had nothing to cry about. I was content being in Roy's arms. So… why?

My heart melted as his lips pressed against mine. It was a gently, chaste kiss, but I had to have more from him. I pressed my lips harder against his, grabbing his bare shoulders and pressing my chest against his. I moaned as his hand ran up my thigh, up under the silk nightgown I wore.

My finger tips left his shoulders and slid down his chest and over his abs. He was so perfect. Sure, he wasn't heavily built like Havoc, but Roy was built in such a sensual, appealing way, at least to me. His arm muscles, his back muscles, chest and torso muscles, everything was just so perfect. I shivered and moaned as his tongue ran along the roof of my mouth, his finger dancing along the skin of my thigh.

My eyes looked down to my legs then to my arms. I had to put at least some weight on. I knew that being so thin was terrible for my health, and being so thin due to bulimia and anorexia just made things worse. I would change. Change for Roy. I would stop that, and become perfect for him.

"Emma, I have a question, my sweetheart." _My sweetheart_.

He pulled away slightly, kissing my cheek before smiling, "How did your father come in possession of a Stone?"

… Why did Roy want to know that? I mean, I guess he was just interested? "Like I had said last night, he was a researcher and one of the main things he researched was the Stone. I assume he obtained it from the people he was doing the research for. He never really spoke much about his research. I only knew about because I read through his notes at night when he and my mother were asleep, and everything stuck in my head." I looked up at Roy and my voice took on a darker tone, "… Did you know the main ingredient to make a Philosopher's Stone is live humans?"

Roy's eyes seemed to match my tone as he nodded, "Fullmetal found that out during his research."

We sat in silence for a moment before I spoke, "Roy? Are you… are you going to turn me in?"

Roy's brow furrowed as he heard my question, "Why would I turn you in? For what?"

"For… my past intentions…" I looked down and twirled my fingers together, "My intentions to kill of those who fought in the Ishvalan War…"

Roy sighed and his lips met mine briefly, "No, Emma. I have no intention to turn you in for that. What's in the past is in the past. All that matters is now. And now is you and me." He kisses me again, and I can't help but tear up at his words.

_You and me_. Does this mean… there's an _us_? Are we…_ together_? I don't want to ruin the moment by asking, but I have to know. But I don't want to come off as some teenager… even though I am…

I pull my lips away from his, but his hand doesn't falter in its path up my thigh, "Roy… does this mean… there's an… _us_?"

Roy smirked, "I don't know what this means, Emma, all I know is that I need you near me." His smirk faltered and his face softened, "I need you in my life. I don't care about the military regulations and the codes against fraternizations. I don't care I'm almost twice your age. I don't care about all that. All I care about is you, and making you happy, having you in my life. Shit… I sound like some sappy little boy."

I giggled and kissed him, "No, Roy. You sound like a man confessing his feelings to someone. You can allow yourself moments of vulnerability, moments to confess something. It's okay."

Roy pressed his forehead against mine, and a calm, comforting rush washed over me. "So, I can allow myself to be vulnerable around someone who is very important to me? Someone I may have very, very strong feelings for?"

My cheeks heated up upon hearing his words, "Of course. Whoever that person may be, I'm sure they'd be grateful to see you vulnerable. Because it will show them that you trust them to see that weak side of you."

Dark eyes gazed into mine, searching for something. I was caught off guard when Roy's lips crashed down onto mine, and his hand that had stayed on my thigh tugged at my underwear.

I smiled into the kiss. I loved Roy Mustang, and I would wait for the perfect time to tell him.

*.*

Sunday morning we had gotten up early, and after breakfast, showering together, and getting ready we went out to main shopping strip of Central. It was nice being out with Roy, even though we couldn't hold hands or walk too closely, it was still nice to be out with him. We were currently in a men's department store, and I was all over the place grabbing clothes for Roy. He was watching me, a look of amusement on his face.

If it wasn't already obvious to him, I loved fashion, and if he wasn't prepared to be bombarded by my fashion tactics and a long day of shipping, then he made a mistake by bringing me out shopping.

I was waiting as he was in the dressing room. Each time he came out either sporting a three piece suit or a button up and vest or even a casual sweater over a collared shirt, I would tell him to get it or not.

"You need some new dress shoes as well!" I said as he walked out with the clothes he was getting on the hangers in his hands. I called over one of the sales workers and had her hold the clothes for us while we looked for some shoes for him.

"Emma, my shoes are-"

"You need new ones!" I insisted as I stumbled over to him carrying five boxes that blocked my view.

Roy chuckled and took the boxes from me. "Fine, sweetheart."

By the time we left the department store, Roy had gotten over twenty new outfits, four new shoes, some new scarves, two new overcoats, some white gloves, and a new watch. We headed towards my favorite high-end boutique. When we walked in, I smiled brightly. I pushed Roy down on one of the couches and started going throw the clothes. One of the employees, knowing I'm such a valued customer, came over and held onto everything I picked out.

I must have spent about an hour trying things on. I felt kind of bad making Roy wait, but when I walked out he didn't seem like he minded. I went over to the shoes, picking out cute heels and even a few sexy heels. My eyes caught the lingerie, and I gave Roy a sly smirk.

He was leaning back with his arms crossed behind his head with a very stoic look on his face. His eyes followed me as I walked over to the lingerie, then his nostrils flared and his eyes took on a dark swirl as he saw the items I was about to go through.

I turned my back to him, and as I flicked through the sexy lingerie, I swayed my hips, making sure my bottom swayed and was in his perfect line of sight. I heard him clear his throat and I inwardly smirked. I grabbed a few things. Lacey bras, lacey thongs, bustiers. I grabbed a few baby-doll lingerie, some negligees, some slips, and even some stockings.

As I tried them on, I was so tempted to ask Roy to come back into the fitting room, but I couldn't. I could give him a sneak peek when we got back to his place.

After I had everything picked out, I was ready to pay.

Roy pulled his wallet, "I've got this."

I was literally speechless. The price of my things was double the amount of his, and yet he still wanted to pay for it? Were we already this serious so quickly?

After having paid, we dropped the bags off at his car, and we continued walking around. I saw a jewelry store and I grabbed Roy's hand, without meaning to or without thinking, and pulled him in. I walked around, looking at all the jewelry.

I walked past the engagement rings, and sighed longingly. I had always dreamt of my wedding, but the one that I had dreamt of marrying was Nathaniel. Now that that dream is shattered, thankfully, I don't know what to dream of for a future wedding.

"Emma, come here."

I looked up, seeing Roy over near the sapphires. I walked over and saw him pointing to a beautiful diamond choker necklace with a sapphire dangling from it. "It's beautiful."

"Just like you." Roy whispered as his hand brushed against mine. "Excuse me." Roy called over one of the sales associates, and asked her if he could see the necklace and matching earrings. The earrings were just the sapphire, but they were equally beautiful. When the woman pulled the necklace and earrings out of the case and carefully handed the necklace to Roy, he moved my hair off my neck to one side, and put the necklace on my neck. A bold move on his part. He then put the earrings in my ears, and I blushed slightly as he gazed at me.

"We'll take them." He said after a long pause.

*.*

Dinner was nice, but it was over too quickly. Perhaps because I knew it was going to be my last night spent with Roy. I was only here at his place for the weekend… and now that Sunday is almost over… I'd be back at the Hughes'. Not that I didn't mind living there, I just wanted to be with Roy.

I was in the bathroom, taking my makeup off. I had on a black bustier under a dark blue baby-doll. I slipped on a pair of the stockings, black. I looked at myself one more time in the mirror, blushing and feeling nervous. I felt so vulnerable not having any makeup on, but it was myself who told Roy to be vulnerable to the one who held strong affections for. I wanted to be vulnerable in front of Roy, the man I loved, but I scared to be.

Shaky hands reached out, turned the door knob, and slowly opened the door. I stepped out of the bathroom, and into his bedroom. I bit my lip, blushing when I saw him standing near his dresser, his back to me. He was wearing a dark blue silk robe. The blue was almost the same as the blue of my baby-doll. When he turned around, he smiled softly at me. My eyes looked over his body, seeing his boxers riding low on his hips, his bare chest slightly hidden by the robe.

"Emma… come here." His deep, seducing voice beckoned me over to him. His dark eyes swirled with lust as they trailed over my body, taking in the sight of me.

I felt as if I was being pulled towards him, just by the sound of his sensually deep voice.

Everything had felt so… surreal yet perfect when I was near Roy. I felt content, wanted, cared for, loved. Even if he didn't love me, I still felt some form of affection. How was it that I found all this happiness in a man that was twice my age? A man who was my superior? A man who was off-limits? Roy treated me… like a man should treat a girl. He didn't hit me, yell at me, force me in his bed. He treated me with tenderness, passion, and care. Something I had never received in my life from a man. The only love and tenderness I ever received was from my parents, and once they were murdered… I lost that love. I found it again, though, when I found Roy.

Roy snapped the necklace he had bought me around my neck, and put the earrings in my ears. He gazed down at me, and his lips descended onto mine in a hungry frenzy. My hands gripped the silk robe, and I pushed it off his shoulders. Once the fabric fell from his body, my hands were all over his warm, tight skin. They seemed to move in rhythm with his tongue as it invaded my mouth and twisted and tangled with mine.

I moaned as I felt one of his hands grope my breast, and the other intertwine itself in my hair. The hand on my breast slowly moved down to my hip and rested there as he continued to kiss me. I felt my cheeks tingle with a blush as he pressed his hips against my stomach, feeling just how much as was enjoying this kiss.

He began to back me up to the bed. Before we made it to the bed, however, he pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva connected to our lips. I quickly looked away from the erotic sight. Roy pulled the baby-doll off, and I heard his deep groan as he took in the sight of me in my bustier and stockings.

His lips descend on mine once again, not as hungry but very passionately. He gently pushed me down on the bed, and moved me to the center, all without breaking our kiss. My moan is swallowed by him as he rocks his hips against mine.

His hands gently lift my back up, blindly undoing the ties on the back of my bustier before pulling it away from my body and tossing it on the floor. I try to ignore the pain in my chest as I think about how many women he's removed them from. I force the thought out of my head as his hands tug at my underwear and pull them down my legs. I look at him when he breaks the kiss, panting and blushing. He pulls his boxers off and hovers over me. He's left me in the necklace, earrings, and stockings.

Roy looked down at my stomach, and suddenly froze up, his face turned hard. I had taken the cover-up off of the scar on my stomach, and now it was out in the open for him to see. Before he wasn't able to see it, and I would quickly cover up so he couldn't see it, and when we were in the shower I kept my stomach out of view from him as best I could… but now…

"He did this to you?" His voice was so soft, it brought tears to my eyes.

"Y-Yes…"

Roy's lips traced over the scar, 'Nathaniel's Pet,' and I turned my head away. He crawled back up my body.

"You're so beautiful. So gorgeous." He kissed my jaw and caresses my thigh.

There is no need for foreplay tonight. Just being in each other's presence, just being in each other's arms is enough. Roy's bedroom is filled with our pleasured noises. My moans, gasps, whimpers. His groans, grunts, moans. The occasional creaking of the bed, the headboard hitting the wall. Every time Roy's deep, sensual voice whispered in my ear either some dirty or some encouraging words, I felt my world shatter around me, and there was only the two of us, connected in the only way _I_ knew how a man and a woman could be connected.

After hours of our passionate night, we had finally fell asleep, the telltale signs of morning creeping through the blinds. As my eyes were closed, all I saw were those charcoal eyes of Roy's. So full of love, of worry, of affection, of anger, of lust. Those eyes… they were windows to his mind, to his soul. And I wanted to be the only person to be able to look through those windows perfectly…

*.*

When I awoke, I first noticed that I was cold. I also noticed that I was uncomfortable. I felt this pain in my body, a pain I couldn't really explain. I looked over my shoulder, and gasped. Roy wasn't there. What was worse was that I wasn't in his room.

I sat up quickly. I was in a cold, foreign room that smelt dank. The only thing in the room was the pathetic, uncomfortable bed which I was laying in. I looked down, and saw that I was wearing a black negligee, one that I did not own.

"Oh, good. You're awake."

My head snapped towards the voice I heard, and I gasped.

The voice belonged to someone whom I was fairly familiar with. The boy I had danced with at the ball. The boy I had seen in the Fuhrer's office. The boy who had snuck into my room and I blindly trusted him, falling asleep in his arms.

_Envy_.

"W-What do you want? Why am I here?" Of all the times to not have my transmutation circle…

A sadistic smirk broke across his face, "Oh, once you meet Father, you'll know."

I shivered, seeing this foreign side of him. When he had been in my room, when he had danced with me at the ball, he seemed so nice, so easy to put my faith in. Now… he seemed evil… terrifying.

He walked- _stalked_ over towards me, and roughly grabbed my arm, pulling me up. "Get off of me!" I tugged my arm, trying to get free, but his hold was strong, bruising.

"Shut up." He hissed. His long hair framing his face in a menacing way that mirrored his voice.

I struggled as he drug me out of the room, and down a dark hallway towards a large door. When we went through the door, we were greeted by large pipes all over the place. A large chair-like structure was in front of us, and when we walked around it, I shrunk back when I saw a man sitting in the 'chair.'

He had golden hair, and golden eyes. My eyes widened, "M-Mr. Hohenheim?"

"Ah, so you know him too? No, I am not that pathetic Van Hohenheim." The man who's resemblance is strikingly just like Edward's and Alphonse's father turns his eyes to me. "Emma Aiman. The Singing Alchemist. Now the little girlfriend of Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. Tell me, why did you come to Central? You were under the radar, perfectly safe wherever you were, and now that you've come, and you've been making a name for yourself, you've caught out attention, and now you've sparked my interest."

I held my head high, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Does the name Fray Brandon ring any bells?"

I glared at him, how does this man know my father?

"Of course it does. He's your father. Deceased." The man rested his chin on his fist, "He was doing research, wasn't he? Mainly on the Philosopher's Stone. Do you know who he was doing that research for? No?" A smirk slowly grew on the man's lips, "Me."

My eyes widened. This man, whoever he may be, was the reason my father had been doing his research? The reason why my father had broken his own moral and religious beliefs and delved into something that was supposed to be taboo?

And exactly who the fuck was this man?

"You're father helped me and the homunculi-"

"Homunculi?"

Yes, I was very familiar with that name. My father had written about them in his research. I heard countless arguments between my mother and him, and never understood them until this moment.

"_Fray! You need to stop this! They're going to tear this family apart!"_

"_Isis, just listen to me. The homunculi will only harm us if I don't cooperate. As long as I continue to help them, do research for them, then they won't hurt you or Astarte."_

"_How do you know that? Just because they gave you their word? They're abominations! Monsters! You can't trust them!"_

"_I can when it comes to the two of you. Just please, Isis… trust me."_

"You… you used my father. You're the reason he's dead! You're the reason someone killed him!" I was screaming at the man. I broke free from Envy's hold. "Or did _you_ kill him and my mother? Did you kill him because you were done with him? Was my mother there and you offed her too? Were you disappointed when I wasn't there? Well I _was_ there you fucking bastard!"

I clapped, crouched to the ground, and transmuted a dagger in one hand and a shuriken in the other. I ran towards him, throwing the dagger at him. He deflected it, and catching him off guard I threw shuriken at him, and it stuck into his side.

I was huffing, glaring at the man.

The shuriken ejected itself from his side, and the wound healed up underneath the ripped cloth. The man's face was hard yet unemotional. How-

"Your accusations are false, little girl."

A scream erupted from my lips as I felt something lash at my back. I turned and saw he had transmuted a whip… but how? He hadn't even… moved. How had he healed himse-

I screamed again as the whip came down on my back. I crumpled to the floor after the sixth blow. The fabric of the negligee had ripped in the back, and the whip had been hitting my bare skin. I was shaking, screaming, crying.

"Now that you've been put in your place…" The man stood up and motioned for Envy to go over to him.

"Yes, Father?"

Father?

"Leave us be until I call for you again."

"… Yes, Father." Envy gave me a sneering look before he walked out.

"I have special plans for you, Emma Aiman. First, you have to prove yourself worthy. You are to feed us information. The movements of Mustang and his group. Don't bother lying because we will know. If you refuse or lie, I will not hesitate to have one of my children kill that Colonel you love so dearly."

My eyes widen, and I felt my heart sank. "N-No, please…"

This must have been how my father felt. This man must have threatened my mother and I, and he cooperated with them to keep us safe. Now… it's my turn to cooperate and keep the one I love safe.

"You will do as we tell you. Envy will check in on you weekly to gather information."

I blinked back my tears, and nodded.

If keeping the man I love safe meant betraying him… then so be it. I would do anything to keep it out of harms way. And I knew what the homunculi were capable of…

Envy came back in moments later and delivered a blow to my neck, causing my world to be surrounded by blackness as I passed out…

*.*

When I came to, I was curled up on Roy's couch. My back was caked with dry blood, I could just feel it. My cheeks were stiff with dry tears. I heard the front door open and slam close, and I heard heavy boots walk in and suddenly stop.

"EMMA?"

I looked up, seeing Roy's desperate and relieved face. He pulled me into his arms, but when his hands came in contact with my back, his breath left him. "Emma… oh, my sweetheart, what happened? Who did this to you?"

I broke down, crying into his chest. Roy cradled me in his arms, carrying me to the bathroom. He stripped me down, setting me in the tub and gently washing away the caked blood on my back. Once the blood was washed off, he filled the tub with warm water and bathed me, all the while comforting me with tender and affectionate words.

As he towel dried me, and applied disinfectant to the lashes on my back, I whispered softly to him, "… The homunculi…"

He stopped, and I looked over my shoulder at him.

His eyes, those charcoal depths that were windows to his soul and mind, held so much anger, so fury, so much hatred, and so much sorrow as they gazed back into mine. His eyes, those charcoal depths, swirled with a promise to get vengeance, swirled with a promise to keep me safe. His eyes, those charcoal depths, were the reason why I would comply with the homunculi. I couldn't lose those charcoal depths. I couldn't bare it to never look into those eyes again…

I couldn't bare it if I lost Roy…


	21. Empty Promises

**I know guys, it's been way too long. I noticed I've been working on this story for what, two years? Yeah, no. I need to sit my ass down and work on this, which is what I'm doing! I'm so sorry it's been such a stupidly long journey, but I promise that I will finish this story within the coming months, and if not that just means it'll be longer than I expected. Thank you for still reading and dealing with my AWOL-ness. Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy it!**

Comfy confines of a warm, welcoming bed surrounded me as I was curled up, watching Roy tiredly as he walked into the room carrying a tray of a food for me. I sat up on the pillows he had propped up against the headboard. My head fell back against the feathered clouds, and I sighed I felt my eyelids drop and beg for sleep. I couldn't fall asleep yet. I knew Roy wanted me to get something in my stomach.

The bed dipped slightly as Roy sat down on the edge of it, beside me. He set the tray over my lap, and I stared down at its contents. Soup, bread, a banana, and some water. I smiled, "You're so sweet and thoughtful. You know that, right?"

"I want to keep you healthy and happy. If that makes me sweet and thoughtful, then so be it." Roy smiled and kissed my forehead. "Would you like me to feed you, sweetheart?"

I blushed as I looked up into his dark eyes, "Normally I would say no, but I'm just so weak and tired… Would it be too bothersome?"

"Not at all, sweetheart." Roy lifted the spoon, and was soon feeding me, making sure the soup wasn't too hot for me.

As Roy fed me, I let my mind wander to a place where everything was… perfect. A sort of… alternate, made up reality. A place where Roy and I had known each other for a while due to him knowing my parents, and once I turned legal age, we started seeing each other. A place where we could be seen in the public's eye without being looked down upon. A place where we were in love and happy. A place where the military and the homunculi didn't pose a threat for us. A place where… a place where I was happy with myself, and wasn't afraid to be myself around Roy.

If only we had lived in that sort of reality. No… we're stuck seeing each other in secret, assuming that Roy wants to continue our relationship- which he hasn't given any inclination that he doesn't. We're going to have go about our daily lives now acting as if we don't feel this strong pull towards each other. We're going to have be Major Emma Aiman and Colonel Roy Mustang, nothing more… We couldn't let anyone catch on, or it would be Roy's career. Not only career, but his freedom. If it got out that he was fornicating with a sixteen year old… he'd be stripped of his title and be given a new title; Pedophile.

My heart picked up its pace.

I couldn't do that to Roy… I couldn't put him in the risky path of being dubbed a pedophile and losing everything he's been working for and striving for only to be thrown in prison…

I just couldn't do that to him…

Tears stung my eyes as I looked up into his caring face. How could I be so selfish and put the man I love into this position? Here he is, working so hard to get to the top, to be Fuhrer, and change this country, and here I am, coming along and thinking I can be in his life. Me, a mere sixteen year old. Roy's twenty-nine, nearly thirty, and if he's caught with me, he can lose everything. I'm being so selfish by wanting to be in his life, to be with him, to never lose him, that I'm forcing myself to be the very thing, the very reason that could create his downfall.

"Roy…"

Roy gently dabbed my lips with the crisp napkin and stood, taking the tray to the dresser, "Yes, Emma?" He laid down next to me, pulling me into his arms.

"… We have to end this. Once I leave here and go back to the Hughes'… it's over between us." I felt my chest tighten, my throat closing, my stomach dropping. The tears were threatening to flow and the nausea was creeping up. I couldn't look into his eyes. I couldn't face the hurt I knew would be there.

"Emma? What… why?" Even for not looking at him, the hurt was very evident in his voice, and it made the tears and nausea worse.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, tried to swallow the nausea down, but it didn't help. "What if we are caught? What if word gets out that we are together? You'd be stripped of everything, be thrown in prison, and be charged as and called a pedophile. I can't… I can't do that to you. Be the cause of that… I just can't…"

The hysteria inside me was escalating, and I felt the nausea creeping up to higher levels. I covered my mouth, and jumped out of the bed. I made it to the bathroom and threw my head in the toilet in time. My body lurched forwards as the vomit expelled from my mouth. I was shaking, sobbing, I always hated throwing up, even when I caused it.

I felt warm, comforting hands on my back, and one gently moved my hair back out of my face. "Emma…"

Roy gently rubbed my back as I continued to empty my stomach (this time it wasn't my doing), and when I finished he helped me rinse my mouth out and brush my teeth.

"You got yourself so worked up, you made yourself sick… What am I going to do with you?" He placed a sweet, gentle kiss on my forehead as he held me, leaning back against the bath tub.

He was right…

I had worked myself up so much about my own selfishness causing Roy to lose everything that I had caused myself to get sick. My emotions often played a huge role in my health, unfortunately. However… being near Roy made everything… better. My depression was buried away in my mind. My schizophrenia hardly ever flared up. The only time they bothered me was if I was in emotional turmoil about Roy.

My mind was my own personal enemy. It was a binding cocoon that trapped me, kept me from being free and able to love Roy without being emotionally stressed. I couldn't escape from myself… and that's what was killing me…

"Roy… I just don't want to-"

His warm lips cut me off, and I sighed softly before returning the kiss. My fingers clutched his shoulders as he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. "Rest." He whispered as he laid me down.

My lips puckered into a pout as I looked up at him. I rolled onto my stomach and pressed my cheek into the pillow, breathing in his scent off the pillow and sheets. His scent surrounded me and calmed me, and I felt so at home and at ease.

My mind had started slipping off into sleep but I was jolted back to consciousness upon feeling Roy's lips on my back, ghosting over the nightgown I wore. I felt his fingertips trail up the backs of my thighs, slowly up to grab the bottom of my nightgown and pull it up. "Roy…"

I gasped as I felt his large hands grip and squeeze my butt and then play with the lace of my underwear. My cheeks heated up at his actions, so I resolved to pressing my face into the pillow. My moan was muffled as his teeth nipped my neck. _Whatever happened to me resting?_

His finger tugged down my lacey underwear and I bit the pillow pressed against my face. Shudders passed through my body as his lips gently ghosted over the fresh gaps and slashes on my back from the homunculis' leader's beatings. Father- no, now wasn't the time to think about that. I'm safe now, with Roy.

"Roy…" I squeezed the sheets tightly as he unexpectedly entered me.

My mind was clouded over with pleasure and pain. Not physical pain but emotional. I was so torn about my situation with Roy, I just wasn't sure what to do. I loved him, but I couldn't allow him to put his neck out for the inevitable chopping.

The feel of his arms at either of my sides, as if a shield to protect me from whatever may came… The feel of his chest occasionally brushing against my back… The feel of his panting breath on my neck… It was all too much.

I let a tear fall and buried my face in the pillow, sobbing out in pleasure and hurt. I loved Roy, and I was going to be damn selfish about it too. I wasn't letting him go. It would hurt too much, and I would surely spiral back down my old path of self destruction.

I felt Roy slump above me, his chest barely touching my back, but I felt the cold dog-tags still around his neck. I slowly rolled over, and looked up at him with the tears brimming my eyes, "Roy…" I sat up slightly and kissed him with everything I had. I put all my emotions and passion into the kiss, trying to show him how I felt.

Roy gently lowered me as he kissed back. His lips left mine, but he placed a soft peck on my lips before laying down beside me, holding me tightly to him. "You aren't going anywhere, Emma. You hear me? You're mine, and I won't let you leave." His voice was so caring and loving…

I smiled and kissed his collarbone before settling down into his arms. I had to say it, I just had to. No more running from my own feelings, no more trying to push it off, no more being scared. "Roy?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" He looked down at me.

I was breathless for a moment, he looked so… beautiful. His hair all tousled, fighting off sleep, relaxing, _peaceful_. I gently scooted up so that my lips were almost touching his, and I whispered those words I was afraid to tell him, afraid to admit to myself, "I love you…"

Roy stared at me. He just stared. No emotion showing on his face. I felt the world crumbling around me. How could he love a sixteen year old girl? How could he love someone like me? I looked down, trying to force the tears away. I was a fool. All I was to Roy was just… just a piece of ass, and once he get's tired of me-

"Emma…" He gently tilted my chin up. His grey eyes were, a warm smile on his face, "I love you, too." His lips pressed against mine. "I've been trying to deny it. This relationship, our ages, it's just wrong. So, when I noticed these… weird feelings I kept trying to push them away, push you away, but I couldn't. You kept coming… like a moth to a flame." Roy smirked at his silly little analogy. "I love you, Emma Aiman."

I looked down, shyly, then guilt slowly took over me…

"What if… What if I told you that there was something about me that was a lie?"

Roy cocked his eyebrow up, "Well, I'd want to know so that I wouldn't rush to conclusions and we could talk it out like a normal couple."

_Couple__…_

Were we now a couple? Just by uttering three words to each other?

"Emma?" His hands gently cupped my cheek, "Talk to me."

I took a deep breath and nodded, "Emma isn't my name… Not my real name at least…"

Roy's eyes widened, then it looked like something had clicked, "That's why there was little in your file."

I glared, "You checked my file?"

"Emma… I was curious about you. I- can we just discuss this after you talk to me, Emma? Or whatever your real name is?"

I looked into his eyes and sighed softly, "Astarte Emmalynn Laguz. That's my real name. I'm sure there's a huge, thick file on that name…" I shook my head and looked back up at him, "I took on my middle name Emma Lynn, and then my aunt's last name after she married, Aiman. I figured… if I let the name Astarte die, then so would her mistakes, her past, her… everything. With the 'birth' of Emma, I would become a new person, a better person. That's partially true… because I found you, and you make me a better person." I gave him a small, sad smile.

Roy gently cupped my cheek, his sigh breezing over my face, "What should I call you, then?"

"Emma. I told you, the name Astarte is dead…"

Roy kissed me softly and held me, "Sleep. We'll talk more in the morning…"

*.*

Days and weeks passed, until those days and weeks turned into two months. I was doing dirty work for the homunculi, checking in with Envy at the end of every week, I gave him little information to pass on, however. Just mundane things such as the financial standings of the military, trouble within Amestris, silly mundane things that would be of no use to them. Roy and I kept our relationship a secret, obviously. Whenever the others were on lunch break, we'd lock the door and either just sit on the couch together, talking about whatever came to our minds, or he'd press me against the wall, his desk, the floor, the couch, and have his wicked way with me. Of course I'd be too vocal and he'd have to cover my mouth with either his mouth or hand.

Today was no different then any other day when the others went off to lunch. However, I noticed Roy seemed a bit more… rigid ever since I came into the office.

I walked over to him, smiling sweetly, "I have fruit for lunch today."

Roy raised an eyebrow at me, "That's it?" His deep voice was condemning me.

I blushed, "Y-Yeah… I had a big breakfast!"

"Yes, because yogurt and a banana suffice as a bit breakfast." Roy sighed and stood, grabbing a container out of one of his drawers. "You're sharing my lunch with me. Good thing I brought extra." He smirked. That bastard…

He had a thing now, he would always bring extra of what he was eating for lunch and made sure I ate it. If I told him I needed to go to the bathroom, he would follow me, and I knew he was pressing his ear against the door. He has been so protective of me, it was almost… father-like.

I sat down on the couch with my cup of fruit and smiled as he sat beside me, throwing an arm around me. "So what did you bring for lunch today?"

"Leftovers." Roy smiled his cheeky smile and opened the container, handing me a pair of chopsticks.

I leaned against him as we ate. Normally we talked, causing us to eat slow… today however, there were no words exchanged as he ate. Roy threw out the empty container and sat back down beside me. He pulled me onto his lap and held me, tucking my head under his chin.

Sitting like this with him… it was worth anything. I would give up kissing him just to sit like this every day with him, and not worry about who sees. I closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat…

"Emma…"

"Yes, Roy?"

"I love you…"

I looked up at him. Even though we had told each other those words two months ago, we hadn't said them since. It was more of an 'let our actions show our love' kind of thing. I smiled softly and kissed his slightly stubbly chin, "I love you, too, Roy… So much…"

His arms tightened around me, "I promise I will never hurt you… I promise I will never betray you… I promise I will never leave you."

Something wasn't right, it was as if… as if he were saying goodbye. "Roy? What is all this about?" I leaned back in his lap slightly, looking him in the eye. "Talk to me."

Roy's eyes never strayed from mine. There was little emotion showing in his eyes… "The situation with Drachma has… escalated. Now, we're in an all out war with them."

"Okay? How does that affect us?"

Roy sighed and kissed me. "The other's are coming back. We'll talk more about this later."

But we didn't… I was home with the Hughes' sitting in my room alone. We didn't talk about it after work. He hadn't come over to talk about it. No phone call. Nothing…

The sudden knocking at my door made me jump. I was wasn't properly dressed. I was only wearing a thin chemise. If it was Gracia, it wouldn't be a problem. Same with Elysia. But if It was Edward or Alphonse coming by to say hi like they normally did, I would be embarrassed. Or Maes… then… I don't even want to think about it.

I jumped up off my bed and opened my closet, but the banging at the door grew more frantic. "Hold on." I said. Deciding against getting my robe out, I walked over to the door and opened it.

Standing in front of me was Roy. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, which I found odd because he looked perfectly fine earlier in the day. "Roy, what's the matter?" I asked.

I saw Gracia standing in the hall. Her face was full of worry. She shook her head slightly then walked into Elysia's room. Gracia knew Roy and I had gotten close, but she saw it more as a sort of father-daughter relationship. She thought Roy always came around and helped out because I didn't have a father, and for some reason he felt the connection and wanted to help me out…

I turned my attention to Roy, who had walked into my room and was looking out the window. "Roy?" I closed the door then walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Darling, tell me what's wrong."

Roy sighed and continued to stare out the window. It was beautiful outside. The moon was a crescent shape, the stars were shinning bright. It's been a while since I've seen such a beautiful sight.

I let go of Roy and sat on my bed, pulling his hand with me. Roy pulled his hand out of mine and turned towards me. "Emma…" I could see something in his eyes. Something that I've only seen once. His eyes are dull with regret. His face showed signs of stubble, more so then earlier today. He looked like he's aged over the course of the day.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and whispered, "Roy?"

"I have to go."

It was so blunt. So… monotone. Not caring. No meaning.

My eyes stung, "What do you mean, Roy? You can't be so vague."

"I have to go." This time, he said it slower and I could hear the emotions in his voice. His voice was weak with remorse and grief.

I stared into his eyes, "Why is this so sudden? Roy, talk to me. Please. Is there a reason?"

"Yeah…" Roy crossed his arms over his chest then turned to look out the window. I followed his gaze. The moon was now covered in dark clouds.

I blinked and tears fell down my cheeks. I didn't bother wiping them away. "You can't leave me. You promised-"

"I know."

I blinked again and more tears fell. I choked back a sob, "Please, don't go." I couldn't stop the begging in my voice.

Roy turned to me and his gaze softened. "Why? You know I have to." He sat down next to me. I leaned into him and started crying. "Are you sad about it?" It was a stupid question, but the real meaning behind it was 'are you going to be like this while I'm gone?'

"Yes…" I answered.

Roy's arms circled around my waist, and his chin rested on my head. I looked up at the man who I loved. We had finally confessed our feelings, became a 'couple,' and now… now he's just up and leaving? "Roy… there's something I have to tell you."

"Shh." Roy put his glove clad finger to my lips and then kissed me.

I pulled away abruptly, realizing why Roy had come here. _This may be the last time I will see him__…_ What he had told me about Drachma… I had finally understood why he told me…

Tears sprung to my eyes and shock my head fast. "No…" I squeaked. I bawled my fists and bowed my head, feeling my tears dripping onto my thigh. I may never see Roy again. "Roy, please I-"

"Emma…" Roy whispered before he kissed me again.

This time, I didn't pull back, rather, I pushed myself onto Roy, pushing him down onto my bed. I kissed him eagerly with a strong passion that was only for Roy. He kissed me back equally, and gripped my arms tightly.

Roy flipped us over and pulled his lips away. The both of us were panting. I closed my eyes as his lips kissed and sucked my neck. _Yes, Roy. Mark me as yours. Please, I love you. _I grabbed Roy's face and brought it back to mine.

Before I could kiss him, there a light knocking on the door. Roy sat up, and helped me sit up, before walking to the door.

Riza stood in the doorway with, what I assumed, Roy's uniform coat draped over her arm. "Sir, it's time to leave." She looked at me with sad eyes. There was something that told me, two months ago, that Riza knew about Roy and I. I don't know how, but I just had this gut feeling that she did…

"Yes, well. I'll be out in a minuet, Riza." Roy replied.

Riza nodded curtly, then turned on her heel and left. I jumped up and wrapped my arms around Roy and pressed my face into his back. "Please, please don't go!" I shouted.

"I have to, Emma." Roy groaned. He pulled my arms away from him, turned around to face me, and held my hands in his larger hands. "Emma, I may not come back."

"I… I know. Which is why I don't want you to go."

Roy smiled, "Emma, from the day I met you I knew you were spectacular." He leaned down and kissed me. It was gentle and loving, and it made my heart melt and tears fill my eyes.

"Roy, I want you to promise me something."

"Anything." Roy murmured against my lips.

"Come back to me. Come home."

Roy pulled back and smiled, "Emma, that is going to be something that will be very hard to promise, but I will do my best. I promise. I want you to promise something too. Promise me, that whatever it is you want to tell me, you'll tell me when I get back."

"But Roy-"

He kissed me again, and we both stumbled backwards to my desk. I gripped the edges of it as his hands cupped my cheeks. He pulled away, "Dammit Emma… you're making this so hard…"

I looked up at him, and saw his charcoal eyes shinning with unshed tears. "Roy, I lo-"

Once again, he silenced me with his finger, "When I get back." He said it… so sadly, like he doubted that he would come home…

"Promise… promise when you get back that we won't keep us a secret anymore?"

"Emma-"

"Promise!"

Roy looked into my eyes and kissed me softly, "I promise…"

I watched as he turned his back to me, slowly walking out of my room. I sobbed when he didn't look back at me, or give me his cocky smirk, or say anything. I fell to the floor and cried and screamed and sobbed, and I stayed like that for the rest of the night.

He left me, breaking his promise. He hurt me, breaking another promise. Is that all Roy would do to me? Break his promises? Would he not come home? Would he come home… in a casket? Was he giving up on himself so easily? Giving up on us? If that's what he was doing, he was doing a good job at it, because all I'm left with from him is a shattered heart and empty promises…


	22. Miserable Life and Fallacies

**I'm really trying to not wrap up this story but hurry the progress along. It's been, what? Two years since I published it? I need to get my ass on the ball. Not sure if I said this before, but I do. With my coming move to New York maybe this will kick my ass into gear at finishing this. I'm so sorry to you all who have been reading and waiting, this WILL be finished and I WILL give you a GREAT story! Please keep reading and know I haven't failed you and abandoned you or this story or anything! Anywho! I truly hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!**

Three weeks went by since Roy had left… and those three weeks were torturous for me. In Roy's absence I began to see our 'relationship' in a real light.

He was just using me.

I was just a warm, new, exciting girl to conquer. I didn't mean anything to him, and I was so fucking stupid for falling in love with that bastard. He was manipulative and evil. He wanted me, so he thought of a devious and deceptive plan to get me. I fell for him, much like I fell for Nathaniel…

I must have looked like a stupid, pathetic little girl in Roy's eyes. A little girl who liked to be fucked by an older man.

My eyes narrowed at the slice of pie Gracia had brought up to me. I couldn't recall the last time I ate something so simple like a slice of pie. I would eat a few grapes, or an apple just to keep Gracia's motherly eyes off of me. Sometime I would shove an entire course of a meal in my mouth, then quickly vomit it all out. All it did was worsen the hurt I felt.

I sighed softly, looking out the window.

Even though Roy used me… I still loved him. When he came back I told myself I wouldn't look at him, talk to him… but the moment my eyes see those charcoal depths that challenged me every time he looked at me… I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my so called promise to myself.

After a while, I quietly crept around the apartment, making sure that Maes and Gracia were asleep. I crept down the steps, to the front door, and opened it trying not to make a sound. Once the door was closed, I ran. Well, I ran as quickly as my heel-clad feet would go.

One day during one of my shopping trips, I ran into a really nice girl. We started talking, and soon I was seeing her everywhere. We just randomly would run into each other. Her name was Audrey, and I quickly realized after our lunch together in a café that we were very much alike. She had a dark past full of drugs and sex with random men, and I could relate to her. The only difference between us was that she was still on a number of drugs, and I had kicked the habit wanting to better myself. Of course I still had the thoughts and urges… but I had to remain clean and healthy.

Audrey often threw parties, and the last two she had thrown she invited me, but I didn't go. This time, however, I was going.

I found her place with ease, and made my way inside the apartment complex. She was on the top floor, in the penthouse. The sultry voice of some jazz singer over a radio made its way to my ears as I opened the door and stepped in. "Hello? Audrey?"

I saw her come out of the shadows, and was a bit unsettled by her appearance, but the smile on her face calmed me. "Emma!" She pulled me over to the couches, and I blushed as I saw some guys sitting down. There were two other girls but they were so far gone in whatever it was they had taken.

I took my place next to a grungy looking guy, and tried to slide away, but Audrey stopped me as she sat on my other side. "Nice place…"

She giggled. "Thanks." Audrey was almost as gone as the other two girls…

The air around me was thick with smoke, cigarette smoke, and my surroundings were dark, save for the dimmed light in the corner that gave the room an ominous and perilous feel to it. The people in the room were so far gone now due to the drugs in their system. I was the only one sober in the room, even if the drugs and alcohol had been inviting and would have offered me a sort of comfort. I remained clean, sober, for Roy. I had to. I loved him so much, and enough that I would give anything up if it would please him. Even if he didn't love me, even if I was just another one of his conquests, I still loved him, and would do anything for him.

I looked at Audrey as she was perched on one of the guy's lap. I had to leave. I thought I left all this behind me when I took on the name Emma… Apparently not. There was still time to get out of it, so I had to.

I left quickly, not bothering to look back to see if Audrey had noticed. I walked down the dark streets, trying to remember my way back. After walking around longer then I should have I realized I was lost. "Dammit…"

"Nice night for a walk, isn't it?"

I gasped and turned around. It couldn't be… How could…

I glared, "Envy."

Envy stood before, only he looked like Roy. The damn asshole was taunting me. A dark chuckle left his lips as he transformed back into his own form, "You looked so hopeful. Too bad for you your Colonel is freezing his ass off in Briggs and defending this stupid country."

"Shut up! Don't speak about Roy-"

Envy was quick.

He was behind me in a flash, one around my waist, his other hand was clutching my throat, but not tight, more of a warning. "You've been very quiet lately. Surely you haven't forgotten what you're suppose to be doing, hmm?"

"No, I haven't. There's just no information for me to give you at the moment. Everything I know is what's being said over the radio. I only knew things because of Roy. Now that he's been stationed in Briggs I don't have anything for you. I'm still considered a new soldier, and my age doesn't help people in HQ to trust me any more then they should." I tried to jerk away from him, but his grip on me tightened.

"Don't make me take you back to _our_ headquarters and torture you." His voice dangerously low, and I heard the strong promise it.

I shook my head, "N-Not again…"

Envy was… fond of me, in the sense that he enjoyed toying with me. Whenever I messed something up that the homunculi had ordered me to do Envy made sure he was the one to punish me. He would hurt me and then humiliate me. Strip me down of my clothes and stand over me, making me say things that I didn't want to. If I had so much as refused… he said he would punish me even worse, so I just went along with it. He truly was a sadistic creature…

A gasp left my lips as his hand tightened around my hip, pulling my body back against his. "Mmm, too bad. I miss hearing you cry out in pain and beg me to stop. I love seeing your body writhe in pain and flush with exhaustion."

"Stop…" I mumbled.

Envy turned me around quickly, a smirk plastered on his face, "You're lucky I'm out on a mission of my own, or else I would tie you up and take you back to my room and torture you. Now, go home, little Emma."

I pulled away from him and began walking, picking up the pace as I saw the apartment complex coming into view. I wanted to rid myself of Envy and the homunculi… but I knew there was nothing I could do…

*.*

It was another non-eventful day in the office. Everything was the same as it had been since Roy left. Havoc was blabbering on about some new girl who moved in next door. He seemed quite smitten with her, even went to her place in the morning to get some milk.

"Seems like you're in love, man." Breda teased.

"Oh, quit it, Breda. Maybe this girl won't be chased away by Jean's obvious desperation for a woman in his life. Oh, and the smoking." I giggled as I winked at Havoc.

"Your words wound me, Emma." He places his hand over his chest and pouted.

I shrugged, smiling, "It's what I'm here for."

"What's her name?" Fuery asked.

"Eve."

I snorted, "Eve, really? That's such a plain name."

Jean glared at me, "And what about Emma? That's a plain name."

I smirked, _if only you knew_… "If you say so, Jean." I gently flicked his nose and turned my attention back to the files in front of me.

Roy had left me in charge of overseeing current situations. Such as recent murders, robberies, drug busts, things like that. I never knew that the military handled these situations, but since I joined, I came to learn that since this country was a military governed country, the military was responsible for every crime committed. Roy was often given the files to look over and prioritize them before they were sent to the higher ups to look at, and I thought that was a secretaries job.

"_This is actually a very high honor in the military, Emma. It shows that the higher ups trust me. Not only that but they think I__'__m wise enough to do this seemingly simple task.__"_

Roy had said that to me once when I was over at his place for the night. He had been up late, going through the files, and I was a little upset since he wouldn't come to bed…

I sighed. It hurt to recall those memories of Roy and I. We had been so happy… just like a couple. He had even said we were a couple… but I knew he used me… he only wanted a difficult conquest, and once he realized I was in love, he had to think of a way out.

_Yes, that__'__s right, he doesn__'__t love you, and he never will. He was just using you for the sex, and the thrill of being with someone who could be his daughter. He just wanted to fuck you and leave you dry._

_Stop it__…__ Roy is just__…__ confused__…__ And it__'__s not like he could control leaving for Briggs or not._

_Really? Keep telling yourself that. Soldiers with a reputation like Roy can request to go to the front since they had already seen the battle field. Especially Roy. He was the Hero of Ishval. If he wanted to go to the front for this war, they__'__d send him without a second thought._

"Shut up!"

The room around me got quiet, and I looked up, seeing five sets of eyes on me. Riza, who was closest to me, was about to stand up, the concern filling her eyes.

"I-I… sorry." My body sunk back into the chair and my eyes flicked back down to the files in front of me.

I was quiet until lunch. Fuery asked if I wanted to join him during lunch, but I politely declined, saying how I needed to finish sorting out the files.

When I was alone I relaxed into the chair. I was trying to doze off when I heard the phone ringing. I groaned and picked it up, remembering to keep my voice sweet yet professional, "Colonel Roy Mustang's office, Major Aiman speaking."

"Emma…"

The breath in my lungs was squeezed out as I listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. Could this truly be him?

"Roy… W-What are you doing calling here? You're-"

"I needed to hear your voice…" Roy sounded desperate, and it caused tears to rise up in my eyes, "I miss you so much, and I want to come home so that we can be together."

"Roy! The lines may be-"

"They're not tapped. Fuery checks them every morning, and if it is he disconnects it. We can talk all we want without anyone hearing us."

"The others are at lunch, so I'm not sure when they'll return…"

"We have time, sweetheart."

I sniffed, "Roy… I need to know something, about us-"

"We'll talk about all that when I come home. For now… I just want to hear your lovely voice."

"Roy…" I smiled and sighed, "Fine, what do you want to hear?"

"Just talk to me. Tell me how things are."

I bit my lip, how things are? I could lie and say everything is perfectly fine… or just not tell him certain things… "Well, it's been okay, I guess. I'm lonely, but it's okay. I met a new friend. Her name is Audrey."

"Really? That's good."

"Yeah, I thought so too… but realized she's an addict just looking for someone to get high with… I was surrounded by so much, all the drugs, but I knew I couldn't do any of it, no matter how badly I wanted to. I didn't want to go back down that road after being clean for this long… and also… I didn't want to do anything because of you. I knew you'd be so pissed and probably never talk to me again if I had done anything…"

"Emma, I'm so proud of." I could hear the smile in his voice, "When I get home I'll get you something real nice."

I blushed slightly, "Well, if that makes you happy then wait till you hear this. I auditioned for a play just last week and I got the lead."

"Really?! Oh, Emma. I'm going to take you out to dinner and we'll celebrate. Does that sound nice, sweetheart?"

I smiled hearing the enthusiasm in Roy's voice, "Of course, darling."

We talked for a while, about this and that. I explained the basic plot of the play to him, told him about my character. He didn't talk much, mainly because if he talked about what was going on around him… it would be war stories. How this soldier had fallen, those gunshots almost hitting that soldier… I didn't want to think about the situation he was in.

"Emma…"

I stopped mid-sentence, the tone of his voice was… erotic. Like his whole attitude had changed in the matter of a second. He sounded like he wanted to just… "Y-Yes?"

"Will you do something for me, Emma?"

I bit lip listening to that deep, seductive voice. How could I say no to the man I love, especially when he had a voice like that? "Of course."

"Touch yourself."

I almost dropped the phone.

What did he just say? Did I hear him right? Was Roy asking me to masturbate… in the middle of the office… during work hours… when the others would be coming back from lunch soon…?

"W-What? Roy, I-"

"Touch yourself, Emma." His voice dripped with seduction and want, and I found myself gripping the phone to try and keep myself calm. "Touch yourself while I touch myself."

My face was red and hot. "You want me to have phone sex with you?!"

He let out a short, deep chuckle, "Yes, Emma. Just laying in my cot on freezing nights when I get a break imagining us together just isn't enough. I want to hear your voice, your moans, your cries of my name. Just give me this."

I didn't know what to say, truly. I was embarrassed at what Roy was asking me. I had never touched myself in my sixteen years of life. Never saw the point, really. Then there was the fact that the door was unlocked and the others could come back at any moment from their lunch break.

"Roy…"

I heard the faint sound of a zipper unzipping, and my face got hot again. I pressed my legs together, trying to calm myself.

"Emma, just this once, okay?"

I stared at the wall for an awfully long minute, "… Okay…" I lifted my hips up and hiked my dress up. "W-What exactly… do I… d-do…?"

"Just close your eyes and listen to my voice. Relax."

I took a deep breath and my eyelids slid closed, my body relaxed back into the leather, plush chair. My hand was laying idle on my thigh, waiting for him to tell me what to do.

"Emma…" Roy's voice groaned in my ear.

It was playing before my eyes. A memory? A fantasy? Whatever it was, I could see it in my mind. Roy above me, kissing all over my body, stroking every inch of my skin until I got so hot and frustrated I was begging him to take me.

My hand slowly moved up my thigh, "Roy…" I whispered softly.

The sound of his voice egging me on, whispering things into my ear, those beautiful groans leaving his lips, gave me the courage and pleasure I hadn't felt since Roy left. I was trying to keep quiet, mainly biting on my lip and whimpering into the phone to let Roy know I was feeling as much pleasure as he was.

When it was over, when we were sated, I was slouched in the chair, panting into the receiver of the phone. "Roy…" I whispered after I regained my breath, "I lo-"

"Did that feel good, sweetheart?" Roy asked, cutting my off.

"Of course it did… I just wish you were here to bring me my pleasure."

"I know, sweetheart. I know. Soon… I promise."

Was this another one of his empty promises? I liked to think it wasn't, but if it was I would wait till he came home and went on his merry way with another girl for the heartache and pain to set in. For now, I would love him unconditionally and without worrying about what will happen to him. I will allow myself to be happy with the fallacy of love and our relationship in my head. That's all I had to cling to anyways these days. A miserable life and fallacies…


	23. Monster

**Sorry it took a while. I'm going to be honest, this story took a turn that I didn't have planned we back when, so I kind of went along with it, hoping something would come out of the unexpected words I typed. Something did, and now my mind is back on path for this story, and I truly am sorry if any of the chapters appeared to be random ramblings that never ended. This story is now re-planned and things will go along smoothly now! Anywho! I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!**

The days slowly passed as Roy remained in Briggs. He would call occasionally, either during lunch hours or when I was home at the Hughes'. If he called when I was home, he would use the alias of Jacob, some boy I had met during auditions for the play I was in. We would talk for however long he had available to talk. We never really thought about the call ending; we treasured the amount of time we had to talk even if it wasn't long.

Opening night for the play had come so quickly. Had it really been almost two months? I was in the dressing room, the makeup crew members all huddled around me as they fussed with my hair and hastily yet perfectly put the makeup on my face.

My lines were running through my head. Every move onstage, every word I was going over and over and over, making sure I would be perfect. I didn't even notice makeup crew left me and began fussing over another actor.

I felt a hand fall onto my shoulder and jumped. My eyes moved up to look at the reflection in the mirror and glared slightly upon seeing Envy.

He was in civilian clothing, and he must have transformed his hair since it was _much _shorter.

"Hey there, honey." He said happily, but I could hear the tinted sarcasm in his voice.

"What do you want… hun?" My glare didn't falter as I looked at him through the mirror.

"Just to wish you good luck." He dipped his head down, and his lips pulled at my ear as his voice lowered, "And to remind you that your report is due."

"I'm busy at the moment, or have you not noticed?" I whispered back before wincing as his teeth sunk into my earlobe.

"Afterwards, then. Got it? Or I'll have fun punishing you." A wicked smirk appeared on his face. Envy placed a mockingly sweet kiss on my cheek. "Break a leg."

I didn't need to hear those supposed encouraging words from Envy. I was a nervous wreck, and I didn't even know why! I use to acting, I never once got nervous, not even at my first audition. Maybe it was because my mind was on Roy and it was causing me to stumble through the lines in my head.

"Emma, five minutes till show, and you need to be backstage."

I thanked the extra and quickly, nervously made my way backstage.

I peaked out at the crowd through the curtain, sighing softly. I knew the person I wanted to see wouldn't be out in there…

*.*

Praises and cheers were filling my ears as I was signing playbills. Everyone was complimenting me, praising my portrayal of the main character. I felt elated. To be in my comfort zone, to be getting all these praises… It was wonderful. I couldn't ask for anything more.

I made my way to the dressing room, once the crowd of fans left, and sat down in my chair, smiling at my signature I had written on my mirror with lipstick. All the other actors and crew members had already left, everyone was meeting up at a local lounge to celebrate. I was still contemplating whether to go or not.

Just as I was about to take a rag and wipe all the fairy makeup from my face, I heard a voice coming from behind me, and gasped upon seeing the person's reflection in the mirror.

"You were beautiful up there."

"Roy!" I jumped up out of chair and ran over to him, hugging him tightly. Slight dread slowly took over though, thinking that this was Envy again impersonating Roy. "Wait… No. Stop doing this, Envy."

His eyebrows creased, and a genuine look of confusion crossed his handsome features. "Envy? That homunculus Fullmetal told me about?"

Was this really Roy… or was it Envy? It had to have been Envy. Roy was stationed in Briggs, and would be there for quite some time. There was no possible way he'd be back now. That's when I thought of the solution.

"Okay then, _Roy_, where is my family's vacation home?"

"Creta…?"

"Oh, Roy! It is you!" I pressed my lips against his, giggling softly. If I was elated earlier… I truly didn't know a word to describe how I felt now.

Roy chuckled, "Of course it's me. I knew I had to be here for your performance. I wanted to see my wonderful love up there on stage."

I blushed and pushed his chest lightly, "Stop…"

Roy's finger gently touched my jaw, "You were magnificent up there, Emma. You have so much talent."

I kissed his cheek, and smiled as he handed me the flowers in his hand. "Peonies! My favourite! Oh, Roy!" I kissed him again.

I missed the way our lips fit perfectly together. I missed the way his hands trailed up and down my sides. I missed… _him_.

A soft moan left my lips and found its way into Roy's mouth as one of his hands trailed up bare thigh, playing with the gathered tulle that acted as my skirt. My breath left me as I felt him press his fingers to the front of my underwear, then gently slide them to cup my butt.

"A thong, huh? How daring since you were on stage." He smirked down at me then attacked my neck with his lips and teeth.

I moaned softly, pressing myself against him. "Roy…"

"I've missed you so much, Emma."

My body shuddered upon feeling him press his hips against my stomach, and my eyes rolled back when I felt that familiar bulge.

I had planned for so long what I'd do, what I'd say to Roy when he got back. Sex was the last thing, but right now… the sex was all I could think about.

"Not here, love." His voice whispered huskily in my ear.

My eyes met his, and I felt my face heat up upon seeing the way his charcoal eyes gazed down at me, filled with hungry lust and devoting love. It was a look I missed so much during his absence.

"Roy, I love you so much." I laid my head on his chest and snuggled into him, tightening my arms around his waist.

I felt his lips press against the top of my head, "I love you, too… Emma? Early you said something about Envy… Are they still…?"

My face pressed into Roy's chest more, "I've been feeding them information… Things you tell me, things I come across myself… Of course I don't give them every detail they want… but I do give them some things. Mainly it's information that will be released to the press, but I give it to them first… If I don't comply with them… They threatened to kill you." I looked up at Roy, tears stinging my eyes, "I can't let anyone harm you. I love you! I won't-"

"Shhh, Emma." He placed his lips on mine, kissing me softly, "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I was scared…"

Roy sighed and held me close, "Don't be scared… You don't need to be."

"You don't understand, Roy! They torture me when I slip up!" I pulled my corseted fitting top down to show him fading bruises on my chest, "Envy loves to punish me… He likes to torture me mentally as well. Whilst you were gone… he would often transform into you…"

"Emma… you should have told me all this. Wait…" A look of realization crossed his features, "Is that what happened that night you showed up beaten? They hurt you, you told me that, but was that when this whole thing began?"

"…Yes…"

"Emma… I will protect you from them, I promise."

"Good luck with that."

My body froze upon hearing that chilling voice. I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to believe it was just one of the voices in my head… but I knew better.

"Come now, Emma. Give me your report."

I began to tremble.

"So you're Envy, huh?" Roy's voice was low, dangerous.

I gasped softly as Roy stepped in front of me, protecting me…

"Just let Emma give me her report and I'll be on my merry way." Envy gave a sickening smile to Roy. His eyes flicked to me, his lips curling into a terrifying smirk. "Come now, Emma. Just a few words and I'll leave you two in peace."

Taking in a deep breath, I nodded and stepped around Roy to walk up to Envy. "Umm… The skirmishes with Creta have been increasing, and the military has their hands tied due to all the soldiers deployed in Briggs to help with the Drachma situation. Also- ah!" Envy's arm snaked around my waist, turning me so that my back pressed against his chest.

"Continue." He began to bite down on my neck, causing me to wince.

"W-Well…" Roy's eyes were dark with anger as he watched Envy touch me. "There are whispers about-" I gasped as Envy's hand crept up my thigh and cupped me. My eyes met with Roy, trying to beg him silently that not to do anything and that I was okay. "There are whispers about rebelling towns that have been going on unnoticed by the government, and how they are trying to do something about the government overlooking them…"

"Anything else?"

My teeth clenched painfully as his hand dipped into my underwear.

That was it for Roy.

He came running, pulling me away from Envy and punched Envy in the jaw. "You vile creature!"

"Roy!"

Envy chuckled darkly, "So the Flame Alchemist wants to play, huh? This won't be long."

An echoing snap sounded in the dressing room, and Envy's painful screams were heard as his eyes burst into flames. Another snap and his arms were flaming. He quickly regenerated, glaring at Roy.

I had to do something, I saw the way Envy looked at Roy… and I knew it wasn't good.

My mouth opened, ready to sing as I grabbed my necklace with my transmutation circle off the counter. I felt something hit the back of my head, and when I looked up as the blackness began to take over, I saw Roy crumpled on the ground and Envy no where in sight…

Blackness engulfed me, forcing me to surrender to unconsciousness, but not before I heard the mocking laughter of a monster…


End file.
